Violence a home truth for India Husband

When Man try to tell his Problems / Torture / Struggle / Harassment of marriage and family, no one ready to listen, instead they laugh at him; Many men are ashmed to talk about they are beaten at home by their wives and her Family. becuase of  Indian mentality no one will beleive, and everyone beleive women word when she tell lies with crocodile tears.
So much for the law to promote domestic violence against Indian Husbands and wonder no social organizations have done any research on that, no one demanded the data of Crime against men by women and crime against women by another women.

A online based Foundation called Save Family, which is having 5 online group, and 10 on filed NGO , received more than one lakhs mail from different Part of India in last one year , finally conducted the study on Indian Husbands in association with MyNation

From all over India, 98% of the respondents had suffered domestic violence more than once in their lives. The study covered Indian Husbands from various socio-economic strata but the bulk of the respondents,according to the researchers, came from the upper middle class and middle class.

The study conducted between April 2005 and March 2006 by doctors and IT Engineers Community of Save Family Foundation and MyNation.

Save Family Foundation , Delhi, has been selected for presentation of Gander Biased LAW of India and the effect of the same to the husband vs.wife relationship and the effect of Future child's growth , soon their concern that very soon the Indian Civilized Institution of marriage System going to close to the animal society principal and in coming years there will be huge Father less Childs.

About 1650 Husbands aged between 15-49 years and selected through random sampling were interviewed using a schedule adapted from the WHO multi-country study on Husband's health and domestic violence.

The study looked at all four aspects of domestic violence — Economical,emotional, physical and sexual. Economical violence was found to be the commonest with 32.8% respondents saying they had faced it at least once,followed by emotional (22.2%) , by physical (25.2%) and sexual violence (19.8%). An interesting finding was that the probability of violence increased significantly with the duration of marriage particularly if it was more than seven years old. But, says Dr J K Grover, one of the researchers,
Our interviews also showed that Indian Husband who had experienced some form of violence during the first year of marriage, continued to do so for the rest of their lives. It is not something that just goes away.Explaining his reasons for choosing the subject, he says, Contrary to popular perception, domestic violence is a hardcore public health issue with far-reaching health connotations like mental illnesses and stress disorders.

But most studies done so far have been in the hospital/clinic setting, so they focused on physical health that too of the severe kind that may need medical help. So the whole spectrum has often been missed. I wanted to get a community perspective to the matter.Said Dr Sudip , MMBS ,MD The study has clearly shown that domestic violence is perpetrated across all socio-economic classes. Our respondents came from diverse backgrounds and the study was limited by the fact that Indian Husbands as a rule are not very forthcoming about these issues.
Yet the figures were significantly high. Every 8 minutes one Indian Men end their life and the chances are 200% higher after marriage as per stastics of Crime bure of India.

The study found that a high proportion of Indian Husbands who had experienced domestic violence were either well educated or earn good amount of money by their day night hard work.

Objective of the Study: 

Is there any study as per the definition of “Domestic violence LAW of India” against Men by Indian Government ? Ans: No.

Is there any protection or LAW, for Indian men, who face the Domestic Violence? Ans : No

Crime Bureau data 2005 : Married Men Sucide : 52k vs Married Women Sucide 28K.Still there is no LAW to Protect Men why ?

Will Our LAW Maker change the LAW 304B( dowry death) to 304C( Sowry Death) and 498A ( harrasement to wife) to 498B ( Sowry harrasement by wife) and Domestic Violence Act to Gender Equall Domestic harmony Act ?

According to Labour and Employment Ministry, more women are getting employment even as men are being laid off. The data available for period from 2001 to 2005 says it straight. The number of employed people in both public and private sector came down by over 1.3 Million in this period. But this fall was solely because of men losing their jobs. The number of employed men dropped by 1.4 Million, from 22.84 Million in 2001 to 21.44 Million in 2005. More than 82% Taxes earned by Indian Government from Indian men, but reality is in last 60 Years Budget, the Fund for "Men Well fare " always is "Zero”, in inspite every day more than 192 Men end their life compared to 112 Women as per Crime Bureau Reports.

How Women Harass:.
When husband come home exusted from work,his wife started to grummble, as indian women are famous for murmuring and cursing;
Most of the indian wives are housewifes, when husband come home from work, they delibaratly delay food, and not serving on time, some husband prepare food for them self.
Withhold sex without reason, as man in india cann`t have sex with his wife, For Indian women sex is bargaining tool to get things done from husband,Even he is not having sex, he can be charged with Rape, If not charged with impotent with one word of wife.
Most of the women Raise thier children against thier own Father,specially Boys;
Force man to send out his parents to orpanage or old age Home;
Many men are threatened by Brother in law or Father in laws,to act as his wife says.
Take all his earning / Salries
Refuse to entertain husbands family or not look after his old parents;
Force man to pay for wifes Family, but stop monetery help to his Family..

In our study, conducted by MyNation along with Save Family foundation ( Delhi) on Domestic violence against men, between the 10th of March 2005 and the 30th of September 2007. We interviewed and went through some 1650 Indian men's personal cases and concluded that Indian women are most abusive and dominating, from our study.

This is not biased or single sided study and is unlike some women organizations; anyone can browse the detailed description of the trauma suffered by these Indian men on some public blog sites like http://498a.wordpress.com  or http://victims-of-law.blogspot.com  

We also setup Polls over a period of the past 2 years, on domestic violence against men, and out of 295 Ballots:

99 men said they are verbally abused

91 men said they are mentally tortured

73 men said they are Denied or withheld sex for no reason; some demanded sex even when they came home exhausted from work.

32 men said the wife's relatives, who even threatened to kill, physically abuse them

This study and Poll shows that most of the Indian women are verbally abusive. No need to show her the art to twist tongue, they are born with the Art. They know how to insult men; even insult his old aged parents in front him or vise versa. She will find faults in everything, in his profession, attitude and day to day work, even in bedroom; as all men are not capable to satisfy the needs after some age or have some physical problem; mostly this physical disability in bedroom occurs because of sarcasm of wife. This verbal abuse leads to mental torture, but society and judiciary consider women can't verbally or mentally abuse / harass men.

For Indian women sex is a bargaining tool to get things done; they can deny sex, withhold sex without reason; as per psycologists its a mental torture for men; but Indian judiciary never admits it as a domestic violence, they consider all men to be rapists.

We also found out that when things go wrong or when husband is not following what a wife demands, her family, in laws start to threaten to load him with false cases like anti dowry (498a) or Domestic Violence Act. If that does not work, they use force, physically torture or issue threats to the man's life. When we tried talking to men about this menace, many of them refused to comment as they are afraid to talk about it.

What Indian women actually want [ Source http://indianmen.wordpress.com  ]

 1) Portray all women as victims of male-dominated society. It is an accepted fact that the society has always revolved around the importance of women but it is also important to deceive people saying, "Men in the society victimize women". Men have always respected women in the family but let people know that men are abusing women. Show fabricated statistics of domestic violence on women even when men are emotionally abused much more than women in the family. 

 2) Do not allow any female-bashing advertisement. Increase male-bashing advertisement in order to disarm the masculinity of male gender and make them submissive to female domination. Produce advertisements that are derogatory for male gender and show women as smarter, stronger and more powerful than men. Increase mockery of male gender to make men weaker than women. 

 3) Blow the issue of female foeticide out of proportion even when the statistics on sex ratio is questionable. It is a fact that these statistical figures on sex ratios are far from reality but people need to be reminded that girl children are less only because women have a lower status in the society. Consequently, the Government will be forced to give women extra legal protection and economic facilities, which would deprive men in all respect. Even though sex ratio is determined from a mathematical formula, which are not authentic but let people panic on the fabricated statistics. Show men as culprits even when men prefer daughters and women prefer sons. 

 4) Continue to show women as victims of dowry and rape. Even though dowry law is being misused by women but that should never come to the news. Rape laws too are misused but the false cases should never come to the news. Warn the media not to publish any such article that will prove that dowry and rape laws are misused. 

5) On a regular basis, publish articles that will portray women as victims and men as criminals, which will brainwash the minds of the people making them believe that men are born criminals and women are always victimized by men.

6) Never project men as successful. Always show the success of women in an exaggerated manner. For example, Sania Mirza is miserable in her game but continue to show her as a great fighter. Target the players of Indian cricket teams as useless and good for nothing. 

 7) Pressurize the judiciary to give women the highest level of credibility so that women can accuse anybody they want and ensure conviction. Whether the complaint is genuine or false is not important. Women should have the right to ruin anybody's life. 

 All demands of women should be labeled as "Rights". Follow double standard to get demands approved by the Government under the name of gender equality and women empowerment. Let the Government know that women are potential voters and so their demands of harassing men should be approved. Increase the burden of responsibility on men and focus on women's freedom and rights only.

The time is knocking on our doors, which brings in an unnatural misbalance of man and woman relationship. The moment we open our doors, the society will be flooded with the tools guaranteeing the extinction of the human race.

Women empowerment is no doubt an excellent thought. But the methodology to bring about the empowerment is foolish in the true sense. Perverted laws and draconian rules have given rise to the misuse of the same by erratic women. These laws, which were designed to reach the rural and semi-urban masses have got bottle necked in the urban misuse. Marriage has become an agreement to put a foot on the way to hell for men. The same bride, who is welcomed at a house to convert it into a home, builds the dungeon. 

When we talk about Gender Equality, we shall not forget our age-old culture. When we talk about Women empowerment, lets not think about disempowerment of men.

When we talk about Justice for all, lets not forget that men are a part of "all".
Now new Domestic Violence Act force husband to act as his wife says and he has to throw them out of their own house,or by their Daughter-in-law.

Not only this because of such biased laws, its difficult to lead normal life to indian husbands; and force them to commit suicide [Ref: http://dvac...1&a=222 ] but same policy will not be applied to women.

The fact that though Husbands are not dependent on others, has been found to be soft target of domestic violence through the world and their female partners had taken the un-due advantages of the same. No Government sponsored Social study center or any media shown any concern, why the Higher rate of Husbands ending their Life after marriage!!

In india, husbands / Men face biased situation everywhere,and they are subjected to all kind of gender biased practice,in every wake of life; there are no laws to protect thier interest
In Real life situation,if Girls[Lover] Refuses to marry and boy[Man] commit suicide there is no IPC to punish her [Ref: http://dvac...1&a=220 ] but if same thing done by a man then he will be charged and sentenced to 7 years of Prison [ Ref: http://www....yderabad#22 ]

Save family foundation and MyNation  campaign for a Domestic harmony LAW ,Planed to represent their study reports to the Home Affairs Minister's LAW reviewing Committee regarding the various *LAW like 498a, DV act and Section 125 , [ http://www....ndianfamily ] which had been misused heavily just to destroy the Domestic Harmony of Indian Society and the Crime against men are Increasing all over the Places .

Supreme court of India allready shown thier concern and asked to Stop the "Legal Terrorism " in the form of misuse of 498a and the necessary changes to be made by Parlament , but it seems our LAW makers prefers to sleep in silence , as they do not want to disturb their Vote Bank and forcing the Child under single parenting system , as thier voice can't reach to them and they do not have any vote bank .
[ http://www....5231379.asp ]

Judiciary knows, there is harassment of these poor husbands,but never done or taken any strick measuremnt to tackle this misuse,[Ref : http://www....amp;sid=REG *Anti-dowry law often misused: Delhi HC CJ ] why there is no change since 1983.....

How long these poor husbands have to suffer ?
Why this step mother policy towards indian Husbands.?

As per Constitution of India[All people of India shall be guaranteed and secured social, economic and political justice; equality of status and opportunities before law; and fundamental freedom.]

WHY ? Indian men have no Equality in Laws.
WHY ? Indian Domestic Laws are Biased towards men ?
WHY ? It take 7 Years to get Divorce to men and only 6 months to Indian women
WHY ? Indian Fathers are Denied to Child Custody, Even Mother is Prostitute.
WHY ? Indian men has no Protection Laws..?
WHY ? Men do not get Reservations too.

When there is no law / Judiciary support, how can a man lead normal happy life....? These all fact are clear indication that indian husbands are harassed more than indian women, at home and Judicially.

Author :  Rudolph Dsouza