Dealing with Feminist Abuse (In a Manly Way)

Last month I suggested that men take a more proactive approach to the sort of demeaning comment and vilification that women – and some manginas – deploy. It isn’t just for the rabid Femonazi that we might occasionally meet in person, but for our very own insensitive womenfolk who, otherwise pleasant, lapse into ‘shaming’, accusing or logic-challenged diatribes. More often than not the average man is left speechless.

We have an epidemic of False Accusation in the public sphere. It did not arise from the aether. It is a practiced tactic that little girls learn before they even reach the playground and use throughout their lives in normal conversation. It is a form of feminine bullying. Men need to stop floundering and hit back.

So some pointers are needed; some east-to-remember, stock responses that can rebuke or refute or deflect without a chap losing his temper or having an ‘Alec Baldwin Moment’.

Often they are veiled attacks on YOU, personally, even if couched in general anti-male terms. Not only is it difficult not to take it personally, it should be taken personally. But that doesn’t mean that you have to respond in a way that shoots your own foot or proves the person’s point for them.

Some different tonal quality emphases may be needed depending on whether the occasion is with one’s own spouse (partner, in the modern idiom) with whom one may need to be more gentle – after all, we have to live with the lady after !- or in company that we don’t have to live with all the time. And strangers overheard, of course. Always good practice material.

Some general rules:

· It is important to stop people in their tracks when they are abusive;

· They must be put right immediately and succinctly with a relevant rebuttal;

· One can use feminist tactics, especially when they use shaming tactics on you. Give their shaming ‘gift’ straight back.

· They must apologise. You must insist.

Let us start by focusing on the hard-sell demeaning and vilification.

Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man’s insecurities and shut down debate. They are meant to elicit sympathy for women in general or particular and to demonize men who ask hard questions or state their own position. Most, if not all, shaming tactics are basically ad hominem attacks. That is, they play YOU rather than the ball.

In doing this I will categorize the major shaming, male-attacking tactics that are used against men whenever a discussion arises about feminism, men’s issues, personal issues or attributes, romance, etc. I am grateful to MGTOW for the main work. The following list contains descriptions of the shaming tactics, typical examples of quotes employing the tactics, and responses that you can use. Enjoy

Accusation of ‘Anger’

You (or someone you wish to defend) are accused of having ‘anger management issues’. Whatever negative emotions you have – her assessment – is assumed to be unjustifiable.

Examples of what we have all heard:

Female=F

F: “You’re bitter!”
F: “You need to get over your anger at women.”
F: “You are so negative!”

A Response: (The stop) Male=M

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men (me) always in the wrong.

B Response : (The rebuttal)

M: Anger is a legitimate emotion in the face of injustice. Your attack is unjust. It is a crude attempt to put men always in the wrong. It is important to remember that passive acceptance of evil is not a virtue. I am not angry at women. I am angry at you.

C Response: (The demand)

M: ” I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Of course, you will need to follow through. You have asked for an apology and you must insist on one before you continue a conversation. If the giving of an apology is refused or rejected, particularly with scorn, then a phrase to cut off will be needed.

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D Response: (Follow Up)

M: “You are abusive and refuse to recognise it. I will not continue talking to you until you acknowledge your fault and apologise. Then we can continue”

As you can see, the ‘stopper’ can be a simple ‘generic’ phrase, useful in most situations. Use it over and over. The demand for an apology is also a generic. Only the rebuttal needs to be tailored.

Accusation of Cowardice

You are accused of having an unjustifiable fear of interaction with women. This is a tactic to blame you and impugn your masculinity.

Examples:

F: “You need to get over your fear.”

F: “Step up and take a chance like a man!”

F: “You’re afraid of a strong woman!”

A Response: (the stop)

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men (me) always in the wrong.

B Response: (Rebuttal)

M:“It is important to remember that there is a difference between bravery and stupidity. The only risks that reasonable people take are calculated risks. One weighs the likely costs and benefits. As it is, many men are finding out that many women fail that cost-benefit analysis. Most women who claim to be ‘strong’ are simply bullies. A good woman is hard to find”

C Response: (Demand)

M: “I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Accusation of Hypersensitivity

You (or whoever) are accused of being hysterical or exaggerating the problems of men. She (or a He) says:

“Stop whining!”

“Get over it!”

“Suck it up like a man!”

“You guys don’t have it as nearly as bad as us women!”

“You’re just afraid of losing your male privileges.”

“Your fragile male ego …”

“Wow! You guys need to get a grip!”

A Response: (the stop)

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men (me) always in the wrong.

M: “Using such shaming accusations reveals a callous indifference to the humanity of men. Remember that you have a father, a brother, a son and consider their situation. Why do you expect more of men than you do of women?”

(Some options are needed now to address the accuser’s attitude and tone, if not the specifics. You can start now to think of your own responses and rebuttals, rather than rote learn. Again some adapted ‘generic’ means can be employed. Think of some for your situation. It may be constructive to confront such an accuser and ask if a certain problem men face needs to be addressed or not (demand a “yes” or “no” answer, however small it may be seem to be). If the accuser answers in the negative, it may be constructive to ask why any man should care about the accuser’s welfare since the favour will obviously not be returned. If the accuser claims to be unable to do anything about the said problem, one can ask the accuser why an attack is necessary against those who are doing something about it.)

M: “I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Accusation of Childishness

You are accused of being immature and/or irresponsible in some manner that reflects badly on your status as an adult male. Examples:

“Grow up!”

“You are so immature!”

“Do you live with your mother?”

“I’m not interested in boys. I’m interested in real men.”

“Men are shirking their God-given responsibility to marry and bear children.”

Again the Responses:

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men (me) always in the wrong.

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M: “It should be remembered that one’s sexual history, marital status, parental status, etc. are not reliable indicators of maturity and accountability. If they were then we would not hear of divorce, teen sex, unplanned pregnancies, false accusations, extramarital affairs, etc. Neither is the size of breasts an indicator of maturity. Please don’t project your own immaturity onto me.”

M: “I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Getting the idea?

Accusation of Endangerment

You are accused of being a menace in some undefined manner. This charge may be coupled with some attempt to censor you. Examples:

F: “You guys are scary.”

F: “You make me feel afraid.”

F: “I feel afraid when men say things like that”

Responses:

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men (me) always in the wrong.

M:“ Only bigots and tyrants are afraid of having the truth expressed to them. A man has a legitimate freedom to express himself without being blackmailed by your emotional insecurity”

M:“I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Accusation of ‘Sour Grapes’

This is a ‘circumstantial ad hominem.’ You are accused of explaining away your own (assumed) failures and/or dissatisfaction by blaming women for the problems. Examples:

F: “You are just bitter because you can’t get laid.”

F: “You are angry because women have won their ‘rights’.

Responses:

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men always in the wrong.

M: “It matters not how one arrives at the truth. It is the truth that matters. Please keep your personal bitterness to yourself”.

M: “I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

(Note*-By now, you can see that it becomes easy to leap in and remonstrate. The opening phrase, practiced so often, gives you time to think of a suitable rebuttal for changing circumstances, and the closing phrase puts the ball back in her court.

Accusation of Fanaticism

You are accused of subscribing to an intolerant, extremist ideology or of being devoted to an ignorant viewpoint. Examples:

F: “You’re one of those right-wing wackos.”

F: “You’re an extremist”

F: “You sound like the KKK.”

F: “… more anti-feminist zaniness”

Responses:

(Once again -)

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men (me) always in the wrong”.

M: “One should remember that the truth is not decided by the number of people subscribing to it. Whether or not certain ideas are “Out of the mainstream” is beside the point. A correct conclusion is also not necessarily reached by embracing some middle ground between two opposing viewpoints. I have no interest in a false compromise”

M: “I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Charge of Invirility

Your sexual orientation or masculinity is called into question. Examples:

F: “Are you gay?”

F: “I need a real man, not a sissy.”

F: “You’re such a wimp.”

Responses:

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men always in the wrong”.

M: “Name calling is more appropriate in the school playground. Adults do not call people names or make bigoted remarks about their sexual preferences. It is not for you to define someone else’s way of living or how they should be”

M:“I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

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Accusation of Overgeneralization

You are accused of making generalizations or supporting unwarranted stereotypes about women. Examples:

F: “I’m not like that!”

F:”Stop generalizing!”

F:”That’s a sexist stereotype!”

Responses:

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men (me) always in the wrong”.

M: “Feminists and many most women make generalizations about men continually and I do not hear you objecting to them. “All men are Rapists’ for example. When did you march with a banner refuting that calumny? Pointing out a trend or very common mode of behaviour is not overgeneralizing. Although not all women may have a certain characteristic, a significant majority of them do and it is the rare one that doesn’t follow her sisters”.

M: “I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Accusation of Misogyny

You are accused of displaying some form of unwarranted malice to a particular woman or to women in general. Examples:

F: “You misogynist creep!”

F: “Why do you hate women?”

F: “Do you love your mother?”

F: “You are insensitive to the plight of women.”

F: “You are mean-spirited.”

F: “You view women as doormats.”

F: “You want to roll back the rights of women!!”

Responses:

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men always in the wrong”.

M: “Having a pro-male perspective is quite legitimate and is not inherently anti-female. All people should have the same rights. Is your pro-female perspective misandric?”

M: “I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Accusation of Instability

Discussion: The target is accused of being emotionally or mentally unstable. Examples:

F: “You’re unstable.”

F: “You have issues.”

F: “You need therapy.”

F: “Weirdo!”

Responses:

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men (me) always in the wrong”.

M: “You are quite unqualified to comment on anyone’s mental stability. People can have different opinions from you without being considered unstable. Look to yourself”.

M: “I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Accusation of Selfishness (Code Silver)

This attack is self-explanatory. It is a common charge hurled at men who do not want to be bothered with romantic pursuits. Examples:

F: “You are so materialistic.”

F: “You are so greedy.”

Responses:

M: “Just stop right there. You are wrong and you are being offensive and abusive. It is a crude attempt to put men (me) always in the wrong”.

M: “So you are saying I shouldn’t spend my money on myself, but should instead spend it on a woman, such as you —and you accuse me of being selfish?? Just what were you planning to do for me anyway?”

M:“I don’t want us to fall out over this so an apology will resolve the matter.”

Conclusion:

A little thought and delving into one’s own experience will dredge up a host of other calumnous things that women hurl at men. This above will give you a start at framing a response. Just remember:

· Practice makes it second nature to get it right.
· Always stop them continuing.
· Always give a measured rebuttal.
· Always demand an apology.
If all this fails, tell them to fuck off.

For more of Amfortas Click the link below:http://www.honornetwork.com/Amfortas.html

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