Do and Donts of Marriage

These Views are from a Women, and its gender neutral, Because of Current Feminists movement said valid points are not Practiced in India, and majority women will not agree to this Article for sure.

1. A married woman who expects love and care from her husband should be supportive and caring towards her husband. She should treat his parents like her own parents. The word “in laws” should be just left in the LAW while in practice, she should live like their daughter. Similarly a son-in-law should be a son leaving aside the “in-law” clause. Obviously this implies that the parents from both the sides should first be parents by heart and then “in -law”.

2. Adultery is the biggest dragon which is swallowing the Indian Culture. A marriage wherein one spouse is practicing adultery cannot last even with the best efforts from the other spouse. Be it a man or woman, one should get married only when one can make sure that he / she will be loyal to his/ her spouse. Law should ensure that the adulterous spouse never gets any relief from the victim spouse.

3. Marriage does not have to be a financial gain. Every woman and every man should select a partner who is compatible in education and belongs to a family of a similar status. The couple should work hard to build assets and not expect the parents from either side to give them all luxuries as a duty. Anyway, as the facts have proved, wealthy families are not always happy families.

4. Children are not just joint possessions, they are like saplings. To ensure that they grow and branch out, they need to be nurtured with culture and values. A woman plays a very important role here as the child depends a lot on his mother. She can determine whether her child grows up to become an anti – social or a cultured human being. If she teaches her child to love and respect others, he will learn the same. If she teaches the child to give priority to ethics compared to money, child will learn the same.

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5. Last but not the least, a spouse, whether it be a man or woman should not live like a parasite upon the other partner. Both of them should realize the need of sharing and giving in a relationship. Marriages which cannot continue and lead to separation should not be bound with the chains of obligation from only one partner. E.g. the laws of maintenance providing monetary relief to the wife at the cost of the husband should always take into account the duration of marriage, the responsibilities (children) etc so that one spouse is not able to take advantage of the laws and marries the other just for money. As a person, on an individual basis, every Indian should ensure that the marriage does not become a profit making business and that relationships are not used to mint money. Every woman and every man should try to be self dependent so as to be able to sustain one’s self through difficult times in life.

6. If the relationship for any reason does not turn out well, and all possibilities of reconciliation are lost, the couple should part ways without causing any further pain to each other. In a short duration marriage there should be no provision of maintenance and even ethically in such cases, the spouses should part ways not to spoil each other’s lives but to be able to make ones own. Marriage which inherently is composed of both rights and duties should not be made a heaven with rights for one while a hell of duties for the other spouse. If one of the spouses is not able to fulfill his or her duties towards the marriage, he or she should not expect to get all the rights from this marriage. Even the law, in such a case should ensure that a woman who has not given any of her duties towards her marriage should not be treated eligible for any kind of maintenance from her husband.

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7. Divorces are worst when the couple has children. These children have to go through even bigger emotional trauma than the one experienced by the husband or wife. So, the children should be looked upon as joint responsibilities and even if the relationship between the parents is broken, the couple should work together for the success and development of their children.

Laws in India have changed the face of Indian marriage. There are thousands of people in India who are facing false criminal cases and harassment in the hands of those in authority. This is done in the pretext of some laws which were made to favour a special section of the women which is known as “wife”. In framing these laws it is probably assumed that every women who gets married is an “angel” and the moment she gets married, her in-laws turn into “demons”. These cases are becoming a big money making business for some greedy families who use them as weapons for practicing extortion. Its high time and the society needs to remind such people about their duties, else they should be punished for spoiling not just the lives of so many fellow Indians but also destroying Indian culture as a whole.

Author can be found here :
http://www.merinews.com/cj/rajshree

2 thoughts on “Do and Donts of Marriage

  1. Good to see the views which can improve the indian culture if everybody follow the same.

  2. I agree with your points , though I am a woman. However I see a deficiency in one clause 4. You have followed the popular misconception of idolizing motherhood alone and considering only woman as the main nurturer. This need not be true. A father can do everything mother does except for delivery and breastfeeding. There are thousands of men who loves and nurtures their children more than their wives do. The fact is that some people are nurturers by nature and some are not. It could either be men or women. My mother had very limited intelligence (I guess today doctors will call it attention deficit syndrome or borderline intelligence or something). While mother cooked food and took care of the home, my father was the main nurturer in my life. he was wise, compassionate, patient, spent every moment outside work hours with us. When I studied late into night, father slept on the sofa beside me so that I dont get afraid. Everything a daughter learns from mother, I learned from father. Not that mom did not care, but father had more patience and he was more approachable. This helped me and my sister to have a more logical view of life than most women. Guess what, my father has done a better job in bringing up daughters than most women do. I am happy to note that todays young men take active part in bringing up children compared to last generation. This is good for them. Why should fathers be alienated from their children, slogging at work for providing the family while wife gets to win the love and affection of children and father is branded workaholic and uncaring. when he is retired, he becomes redundant in family. All this because we fall into the time-old stupid idea that fathers are not as good as mothers in caring for child.

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