Q. I am desperate for multifarious men. I have to look at every man who walks around so I could I flirt with them. It isn’t that I didn’t have enough boyfriends. In-fact I am in touch with all my past boyfriends but I crave to make new ones. I constantly keep searching online & offline to find new men. Everyday I get over 20 e-mails from strangers & once I seduced them online; they would dye to meet and sleep with me. The moment I get bored from them, I breakup with them citing trivial & petty issue. Indeed they are devastated and left with a feeling that I have used them sexually and of-course they are right.
I have done it ever since I was in a steady relationship with my 1st through umpteenth number of boyfriends and in every marriage that I have been in. I feel sense of satisfaction & adrenaline out of this. In school days; my friends used to call me beautiful & notorious minded powerful woman. I was lucky that my mother and sister knew about all these and helped me every time. Whether it is terminating my unwanted pregnancy or to trap an elusive or innocent man. At present, I’ve a new boyfriend who is very rich, good-looking and intelligent. We have a good sex life even at the age of 42. We have been together for 2 months; his wife is my friend and she doesn’t even know about our affair. But my hitch for a constant rotation of new men never allows me to settle down. Neither I can stop seducing other men and having sex with them nor I have such intention to do so. As I want to enjoy my life at it’s fullest and want to feel empowered.
Albeit I feel it is normal as It’s my life & my decision but at times this has affected my job. Well this has happened only when I had a female boss who cannot be befooled compared to men. How I trap a men is very simple. typically I write them that takes three hours followed by phone calls on a rotation basis. Then I keep following up through e-mail for another 3 hours. However, when I was married, I could only do that after my husband went to bed. After which I would against start hunting for new men online.
I had sex with with umpteen number of men. I would not call it an addiction or lust because this has become my habit which makes me happy & satisfied. My libido is to seduce & sleep with them followed by breaking it up. I enjoy a lot and feel like queen. I will shortly hit my all-time record of sleeping with 3 different men. They are all wealthy, intelligent and successful. Everyone thinks that we will live happily ever after. They have no idea that I am a habitual sleeper with multifarious men. I know hurting them emotionally may be bad in patriarchal society but I just can’t stop. For me it is all fair “game” as long as it is consensual.
For me, it isn’t about ‘sex’ but it is addiction, seduction and the mental game to give pain to men and take pleasure out of it which I receive, enjoy & cherish. To seduce a man to the point where he is so desperate to have sex with me is very stimulating experience. It is like I have scored a six in the last few seconds of a cricket match. I’ve become a master of this game to dispose them very easily. I make single call or e-mail and give cliche yet fantastic excuses such as You are not what I was looking for, Please don’t write me anymore. I don’t want to hear from you again etc. I find myself so manipulative it scares me sometimes but I know that even if I may get caught, I will get away easily since people always believe women are right.
This exciting & manipulative game is so adventurous with my mate that it feels like directing an orchestra. dictate and play with on my fingertip, date with various husbands, sleep with others boyfriends, get a new boyfriend, and slot him in for Tuesday or at times fix him up with one of my girlfriends.
Can you please give me some insight into what is going on ?
A. I think you are a total psychopath. You are a sex addict and a sociopath.
What you’ve described is sexual addiction. Like any addict, you have a feedback loop that provides you with positive reinforcement every time you make a conquest; hence your comparison to a winning touchdown in the big game. This gives you a dopamine high (dopamine being the neurotransmitter involved in pleasure and reward). It is also involved in sexual activity and addictive behaviors like compulsive gambling.
What is so very disturbing is your complete lack of guilt, remorse or empathy for the other parties involved. You know intellectually that this is bad behavior because you are well aware that you are betraying your spouse and hurting all the other men you deal with. Yet it seems that you understand this only on a purely observational level.
It sounds as though you have no capacity for emotion. You lack any ability to hold yourself morally accountable for your dishonest and harmful actions. You are easily able to rationalize hurting and mistreating others, whether they are strangers or relatives. In fact, you take pleasure out of such abnormal behavior.
Hence, I also think you are a sociopath, with an utter lack of concern and regard for others. I suspect there are additional areas of your life where you repeatedly break the rules or injure others with no concern for the consequences. You might well destroy every relationship you get into and your job. You are leaving a wake of destruction.
For your own sake and for the sake of everyone else unfortunate enough to have their lives intersect with yours. You are seek and you need help. If you don’t stop this behavior, you will likely contract a disease, get yourself arrested, may get killed or enrage someone so much that you are harmed. If you want to try living a normal life “something beyond a life governed by sexual addiction” you need treatment, either individual treatment or group treatment.
To the readers: Narcissists like this are often charming and charismatic. As you can see, this woman has no trouble duping people and racking up innumerable conquests. If you encounter somebody like this, I suggest you get away as quickly as possible.
The Psychiatrist Bottom Line: Narcissistic and sociopath sex addicts behave in ways that violate social norms and will file false cases when they want to get away with their crimes.