- This topic has 7 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 12 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
21/11/2009 at 6:12 AM #165AnonymousGuest
I was married on 20th Oct 2007. After marriage, my wife only lived with me for 6 months and remained in her parent’s home from April2007 to September 2009 on these pretexts:
1. Pregnancy: after 6 months of marriage. She said she would feel comfortable sharing her problems only with her own mother rather than mine.
2. Weakness: After child birth she said she was weak and wanted to recuperate. This she saaid after the stipulated 3 months as per our custom.
3. PhD: She wanted to complete her studies. Ironically, she did not complete her thesis at all which I ended up completing for her at the last moment.
On various occassions, upon my strict insistence, she did come and stay three times: 15 days, 15 days and 20 days. During her stay at her parent’s home, I bear all her expenses by sending her money to the tune of 3 Lakhs over one year and then also all expenses of my child. I also made an FD of 2 Lakhs in my wife’s name in this period.
Once the third pretext was gone, her mother and mausi visited our home on 13-Sep-2009 under pressure from me and alleged that I have illicit relationships with some other girl. I told them undwer oath of our religious scriptures and upon my child, that it was a falsehood. I asked them to clear all their doubts and seek answers to anything that might have in mind. They told me they believe me and agreed that everything is now clear.
My wife returned on 15-Sep-2009 and immediately we had tensions. She found fault with everyone in my home. She had joined a job and had put my child in a creche before coming to my home without my consent. I opposed those two decisions on grounds that my child was young (only 8 months old) and needed mother’s care. We had several verbal arguments. During one such argument on 4-Oct-2009, in response to her very abusing verbal stament towards me, I involuntarily slapped her for the first time during our marriage. I wanted to talk to her to explain myself, but she locked herself in room, called her relatives who came hurling abuses and shouting and while we watched, they took my child, some necessary documents, and my wife along with them.
After that I tried to reconcile but they foiled all my efforts. They kept changing their stand. They asked me to sign apology, then they asked me to separate from my parents, then they wanted apology from my parents. They went to an NGO “Seva Mandir” which works for women and wanted to lodge an FIR but they were restrained by that NGO. The NGO has sent me letters and I have met them on 20-Nov-2009. They showed sympathy with my cause. However, I am asked to reconcile and meet the demands my wife is putting up. I am not sure what to do. I have been thoroughly harassed and my reputation has been mauled by systematic rumour mongering. They came to my home with my wife and child on 18-Nov-2009 and my wife abused my parents calling them names and saying very bad words.
I am concerned about my child and love him too much. However I am not allowed to assert my rights. My parents can’t see him. My wife maintains that she does not want to terminate marriage.
Please tell me what recourse I can take to recover my child and if possible save my marriage (which I only want to do to save my child’s future). Also please tell me what are my (Father’s) rights in this scenario.
21/11/2009 at 7:16 AM #1122AnonymousGuest
It seems you both drifting towards breakup; and end in divorce.
and her Attitute shows(as per your words) she want yo enjoy her life at mothers house and you to pay for her.
make it clear if she stay there you will not pay and pay only half for child.
keep all bill of payments.
File for visitation. if she take away child from you
get back all valuables given to her.
and also inform Police if she took anything and left your house (if she leave next time)
if Possible make audio/video record of her abuse and call our helpline number
21/11/2009 at 7:59 AM #1123AnonymousGuest
Please enlighten me as to what are my rights as a father?
Is the law so biased that it will not allow me to have any right over my child’s upbringing and enjoying sweet momemts with him? Does my wife have absolute authority in this matter?
21/11/2009 at 8:07 AM #1124AnonymousGuest
till 5 years age of child Father has no say other than visitation, only after that he can file for custody.
22/11/2009 at 8:43 PM #1125AnonymousGuest
Don’t worry too much. All marriages go through some ups and downs. Your marriage seems to be taking just such a down. Have patience. It is only few days ago that all this tamasha has happened. Tempers are high and everything seems like an issue. If after some time things don’t settle down then think of other options. At this time, it is too soon to think of other options.
25/11/2009 at 1:06 PM #1126AnonymousGuest
27/11/2009 at 11:20 AM #1127AnonymousGuest
Dear friend I have gone through your matter, if you don’t mind you have become JORU KA GULAM.
Both of you are educated. You have to think that she is asking you are providing, yoy must stop this. You do not call her & talk her up to 3 months at least, After that if she realize her mistake she will come to you & beg apology, you forget all & try to stay happily, if it is not happened. You may file for judicial separation, later on for divorce. You have also make up your mind for facing 498-A. If it occurs approach for anticipatory bail. Then all problems will looks simple, not so hard.
R. N. KACHAVE
Om Juris International
28/12/2009 at 7:20 AM #1128AnonymousGuest
Thanks you for the post.
Hi guys, Im a newbie. Nice to join this forum.
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