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    • #511

      Good day,

      I got married on Jan 4th, 2008 to my wife without demand of any dowry whatsoever as per Indian Muslim Sunni Act. The Mehar was set as Rs. 4 lakhs by the girl’s side and I unsuspectingly agreed to same. They also gave gifts to their daughter and I unsuspectingly signed their delivery.

      I also have a daughter of 13 months of age from this marriage who was born prematurely on August 23, 2011.

      I am a seafarer. I live in a house owned by my mother with my wife and daughter. My mother is also a kidney transplant patient and her transplant was carried out legally in December 2006 prior my marriage.

      My job requires me to stay away for 6-7 months in a year. During my absence or my presence, my wife takes no interest whatsoever in any household matters and just likes being secluded in a corner room of the house. She does not like interacting in a normal manner with any of the household members and is constantly troubling my mother in my absence. She has not even made any efforts to breast feed my child. My child was crying incessantly in the hospital when my mother went to visit her in the hospital and it was my mother who used to feed my child.

      My in-laws have been constantly harrasing me being locals and politically connected to separate me from my mother. It is to be noted here that my father died in a tragic road accident in 1991 when I was only 12 years old. My mother has brought my sister and me up with great sacrifices and it is all because of her guidance that I have reached a point of social standing as well as I was educated in one of the premier schools in the country.

      My wife opposes to almost everything I suggest and constantly demands expensive items even though I tell her that we need to save for the future. I know what tough monetary conditions can do to one as my mother, sister and me went through a tough phase after my father’s death. I don’t want that if I die , my wife, child or mother suffer. Though I have explained this to my wife several times, she does not seem to understand.

      My in-laws have been constantly harrasing me to buy expensive things for my wife, keep servants for her upkeep, take her on world tours with me while I am on duty, reguarly treat her to expensive restaurants as well as even for small things like a watch, she was forcing me to buy a 55,000 rupees watch for her when I was just earning about average 95,000 a month.

      I feel humiliated, aggrieved and harrased by their constant demands.

      On 2nd January, 2011 when I was about to leave for my duty, my parents in laws came forcibly into my house at 11 pm when they knew I had a 6 am flight and told me that if I did not take his daughter to the ship with me, he will not let me leave my house. He also verbally abused my mother and me. To keep matters calm, I somehow kept my feelings controlled and quiet. I explained to them that since my employment contract does not allow child below 2 years of age to sail, it is not possible for me to take her along even though this was explained to my wife earlier also.

      On the evening of September 16th, 2011 sometime between 5 pm-6pm, my wife’s brother came to my house to pick up his sister for taking her out for visiting a relative.

      On several earlier occassions her brother had entered my mother’s house and proceeding straight to my bedroom without even having the decency of ringing the house bell or taking permission prior entering.

      When he trespassed again in my house without informing while I was present in the dining room towards my bedroom which is the innermost room in my mother’s house, I called him to stop him. He ignored my call and went straight to my bedroom.

      Considering this as a violation of basic decency, when he was on his way out I stopped him and told him that from the next time, whenever he is to enter our house, he needs to take permission prior entering and he is not to proceed beyond the house’s drawing room. On hearing this, he started behaving unruly, started creating nuisance and shouting. Meanwhile, my in-laws, who were waiting outside also barged into the house using disgustingly abusive and foul languange. My fa-in-law tried to physically attack my mother and hence in return I tried to stop him. My br-in-law then tried to raise his hands against me which I tried to stop physically which eventually lead to a fistcuff between them together against me inside my house. My wife tried to intervene in between to stop them and hence also suffered bruises on her hand. All the while all 3 of them were continuously abusing my mother and me. The nature of abuses was so offensive, disgusting and provoking nature, quoted examples of which are as below:

      1. Your mother has illicit relationship with innumerous men.

      2. You are always kissing your mother’s cheeks, why don’t you have sex with her.

      3. Your sister used to have illicit relationship with different men around the city.

      4. Your mother is suffering with kidney failure and there was theft inside your house in 2010 because your mother used to

      have illicit relationships.

      5. You and your mother will die and your sister will not be able to visit your dead bodies as I will ensure that your sister doesn’t reach India as I have contacts with Manmohan Singh.

      6. He threatened my mother that he will get me killed and you will not be able to do anything.

      Above are only a few examples only as several other unmentionables, abuses, verbal assaults and fabricated offensive lies were said by my in-laws. My wife stood like a mute spectator.

      Thereafter they called up several people whom they knew. I do not know the names of all the people who were present but a few namely are a local heavyweight/influential petrol pump dealer, his son, a man who was introudced to me as nephew of Late Mr.Vishwanath Pratap Singh, 2 STF members, the local milk vendor who owns a shop near my house. I was not given an introduction of all the people present inside the house.

      When my mother tried to call police / other people for help , Mr.Wafi snatched the phone out of my mother’s hands. I became aware of this fact later.

      My father in law without giving a proper introduction of all the people present inside the house said “If I give you an introduction of any of the people inside the house, you will be pissing and shitting in your pants”.

      In front of them, he falsely accused me that I never give money to my wife , whereas it is known to my wife as she was also present when power of attorney to my account was given to her after marriage. I have also been giving her cash and cheques for her expenditures on a regular basis since marriage for her expenditures.

      They also threatened me that they will file a false and fabricated anti-dowry case or a case for cruelty against wife against me when it is a fact that I earn respectably well and have never raised a hand at my wife.

      My wife is completely against me and even lied in front of the public that I had intentionally caused those bruises on her hand . Infact I have also told my wife on several earlier occasions that I do not need any of your items which you brought or your father has gifted you/me/our baby inside the house as I will buy anything of your or my need.

      I also specifically state here that I express my desire that my parents-in-laws take away all the items they gave either to me or my wife or my child as I do not want them to claim or accuse anything of a false nature against me in the future.

      I beg you to please help me in this matter as I do not want unnecessary harrasement/ legal action as it would seriously affect my job prospects.Neither have I nor they have taken any legal action so far though my parents in laws submitted an application to their local CO which I believe was to safeguard their interests in case should I file an FIR.

      I would also like to state here that I am under a loan for land whose EMI I have to submit regularly as well as my mother’s monthly medicinal expenditures after her kidney transplant are to the tune of 18-25,000 per month. I can not afford to stay at home for more than next 3 months.

      Is there any way I could :

      1. Get divorce from her.

      2. Claim child custody as I believe she will mistreat my babygirl out of vengeance. I have also told her to never raise hands on her as she regularly does that even thoug she is an infant.

      3. Avoid maintenance as I am being victimised.

      Its been 8 days now and I have not heard from them. I am on holidays and I am missing my babygirl each passing moment. I have not taken any action as I have been advised to wait and watch.

      Please please please help me as I want my babygirl back . I am also scared that if I go to her house to ask her back, I will be falsely accused in some case.

    • #3091

      Getting girl child custody is difficult; you can ask for visitation, as you are not in india its very difficult to get custody even after 5 year of her age.

      if your wife side trouble you, your mother can file petition or compalint against you both, so you can keep them safe from your wifes any false case.

      get a small rented house and keep your wife and child there.

      keep all records of their threats and payment done by you.

      once you are out of mother house you can give talaq and if you have enough proof of her harassment or if she educated and was working you cn counter thier maintenance too.

    • #3092

      I am very sorry to read it. May god bless you and give you the strength. I feel your pain. Take care and all the best.

    • #3093

      Dear Brother

      – Really sad to hear your story

      – I have to state a few facts here… so do NOT mind me calling a spade a spade

      – Do NOT get worked up or angry with me … we are all suffering the same fate as you, I’m the father of a 13 year old child and I have hardly held my kid for 13 days after my wife left me

      – For your info I too have a daughter … she is 13 years old …and probably she can’t even recognize me


      – You are a muslim.

      – Mulsim men have a LOT of rights under sharia. So PLEASE do NOT loose heart.

      – Your wife can practically do NOTHING ….REPEAT practically NOTHING under sharia

      – She cannot divorce you

      – she CANNOT refuse visitation rights to you to visit your daughter

      – REPEAT she cannot divorce you

      – she CANNOT demand usurious money from you in the form of maintenance

      – OF course she CAN file FALSE criminal cases (like the dowry case) against you … join Save Indian Family groups,…. attend their meetings in person or call our volunteers by phone and discuss with them

      – My wife and numerous other women have filed false dowry cases …there are 100000s of cases pending … yeah I’ve got the “0”s right there are lakhs of cases pending in court, police etc… you are NOT the first…you will NOT be the last …YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!

      Steps forward

      – STOP your self pity


      – Muslim men can re marry without divorce. your wife will have to beg you for divorce

      – THINK like a MUSLIM … Stop, look around, think like a muslim ….please !!!

      – Shit happens in life. we have to accept this, We have to re start

      – there are 100000s of people to whom this has happened

      – The owner of this board, a pioneer in mens rights movement , a guy who runs this and many other internet initiatives hasn’t had legal reprive for ages…. so what ?? He is marching forward

      – He is a leading light to 1000s …probably 10s of 1000s of people

      – Are you ready to fight ? or are you wanting to run away from this problem ??



      practical steps

      – Have you read the sharia Law ?

      – IF not go read it

      – consult your local Quadi on family law of Muslims

      – consult your local Imam or Qadi on sharia

      – forget fear

      – forget self pity

      ….and <b>when you have decided to FIGHT … completely decided to fight back …. come back here and write to us </b>

      or write back to the my nation foundation yahoo groups

      Actually yours is a very simple case as far as I have seen

      What is your case ?


      – Wife has run away

      – wife’s father is giving you dhumki

      – what else ??

      – NOTHING …… practically NOTHING

      Go to your Masjid…pray…take a vow for azadi..take a vow to fight back against injustice

      Be happy that the trouble maker has left your home

    • #3094

      Good one. Vinayak

      Xplained in detail.

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