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- This topic has 6 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 10 years, 2 months ago by Anonymous.
04/03/2010 at 12:52 PM #232AnonymousGuest
Im from india.Im married and have a 2 year kid.My problem is irresponsible husband.He is not even love me,but he expects an ideal wife role from me.im not getting any care or support from him or his family even i tried for that.He is adict to his mother.Im totally desperated and tired of my life.I have nothing to expect in my life.I m living like a slave.He is always teaching the responsibilities of a wife without doing his part.He is a lazy man.he wont help me in housekeeping and take care the kid.He will always watch TV and ordered something.I feel im a servant.His mother is another witch.She is an expert in squeezing his son’s earnings.Infront of them he is like a small kid who will obey whatever they said.Now the problem is we are staying away from them as my husband’s office is far away from his home.now we are staying in rental home.They used to call him and order to come alone to see them.I m not ready to leave him alone as the area we are staying currently is not a secured place and im scared to stay alone with my kid even it is for two or three days.If i go with him they will treat me like a stranger and used to quarell with me.So I hesitate to go there.when i said this to my husband he is asking me to neglect that.Their behaiviour to me is very rude.They quarelled ,scold and insult me several times.But my husband will never said anything wrong against them. I just start hating him.I didnt get any care or protection from him.My father passed away and i have no brothers and sisters to share my problems.Pls Advice.
05/03/2010 at 4:26 AM #1383AnonymousGuest
Your problem is not so serious. You are right that your husband is not takinig care properly, but he has to look after his parents as well as you & your kid. Role of husband after marriage is just like sandwhich. He has to maintain all of them, so he becomes a artist in circus.So you take care your husband , kid & yourself. After some days all will be ok. If any offencive act is there, there is legal remedy, we will help you surely.
07/03/2010 at 8:08 AM #1384AnonymousGuest
If he do the housework and look after kids will you pay all the BILLS of home ?
if yes, ask him to change the role.
How much you help him in his office work or whatever work he do…?
women should know her place and responsibility instead question her husband what he do. you never know how hard he try to feed many mouths and run home. you may think cleaning and cooking is BIGgest work in the world.
You say u r affraid to go out then who is bringing all the groceries…?
Learn to give something and im sure he will realise and return it sooner than later.
do not try to look everything in green eyes, if someone says wrong to you, just says Thank you, Same to you
Do not HATE, try to findout why he is so. Love him without expecting anyting and you will be loved in return.
Marriage is not BED of roses, there are thorns too.
05/02/2011 at 2:24 AM #1385AnonymousGuest
I am not sure about what people think here!!..But taking care of the kid and household chores is MORE than an 8 hour job!! And earnings are yours and your husbands!!..Those who are advising you that you need to give without expecting , will they advice the same to the man that he should give without expecting, their “gyaan” is only for women…!!Huh!!
You need to have almost equal hours of work..and you can ask him to get you help if he does not want to work at home!
Women are not signed into slavery..and if men enjoy the freedom to do the chores they like, even women should have that freedom…..for whatever reason, if it is child care or lack of professional education, you are not working …please do not enslave yourself…live, and enjoy your life!!….take a break from household chores and follow some of your own dreams…and go for some fair distribution of work according to choice and capabilities….no need to follow the advices and live like slaves!!
And yea, marriage does not mean being a servant……if he has exclusive rights to enjoy the fruits of your work..you have equal say in the money he earns..if he can’t share his earnings with you in a way that you have a say in financial matters…even you don’t have to listen to his orders…let him cook for himself for a change!!
I know that the admin and members of this forum are gonna hate me….but trust me, the right attitude is DEVIL MAY CARE!!…If you are not being treated right and you know it, deal with it!!..LET PEOPLE create noise..your life is yours–and these people are not going to come to wipe or understand your tears of facing injustice!!..Stand up for yourself girl..!!!
10/02/2011 at 7:42 AM #1386AnonymousGuest
I asked my Ex, pay all house hold bills, i will do cooking and cleaning. or in other words.
Lets exchange our roles…..
coz i know cooking/cleaning better than her mother and kid was always with me and child favored nieghbor women more than his mother.
and she not only refused but runaway. read here is the same story in detail http://mynation.net/abio/
11/02/2011 at 8:19 AM #1387AnonymousGuest
child favors you over his mother..I doubt!!
why exchange roles…you have a problem with dividing chores??
13/02/2011 at 8:20 AM #1388AnonymousGuest
If you doubt then you have to ask nieghbors who are close to her.
why to divide roles when i offer change of role.
let her pay all the bills as i paid and i will do cooking cleaning only as she did. but she is not ready to do that also.
thats pathetic situation of most of the women.
they just want to reap where they dont sow.
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