- This topic has 28 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 10 years, 5 months ago by Anonymous.
23/02/2011 at 10:03 AM #434AnonymousGuest
One year back at women police station i and my wife came to any understanding that we will live together and the same was written on papers.
After living together for 6 months, we both had a clash and she committed suicide and later she was discharged with good health.
now I and my wife are living seperatly for 6 months, there is no communication between us.
I don’t want to continue the relationship with her, my friends told me that as you both are living seperatly for 6 months based on this you can file divorce.
If i send a divorce notice to her, will they file any cases against me and my parents.
If yes what are cases would be filed by them.
Please tell me what are the precautions to be taken so that they don’t file any false cases against us before sending the divorce notice.
Kindly give me you suggestions to go ahead.
Please save me and my parents
23/02/2011 at 11:19 AM #2348AnonymousGuest
attempt to committe suicide is crime.
why dont you press charges one that
on suicide facts you can file divorce that she is threatening you agian, and if she die you will be in trouble, thats harassment to you.
24/02/2011 at 10:34 AM #2349AnonymousGuest
as you have been living separately for 6 months why do you not talk to her for dessolving marriage by mutual consent . instead of fearing that she will file a case. if she wanted she would have filed immediately after failed suicide attempt. talk to her before filing divorce papers. why do you want to develope hatred and entangled in legal war
24/02/2011 at 10:46 AM #2350AnonymousGuest
1st file case on her for attempted suicide.
24/02/2011 at 11:51 AM #2351AnonymousGuest
attack is always a best defence…..take decision and then act on it. Don’t get emotional if u want to make ur life. A weak person will always create trouble for u.
25/02/2011 at 3:52 AM #2352AnonymousGuest
beware opposite person will counter attack with more powerful weapon. things can be brought under control only peacefully. think practically. you are best person to judge the situation. if she has not filed any complaint till now indicates that she will not attack first.
26/02/2011 at 9:50 AM #2353AnonymousGuest
if i file a attempted suicide case on her, what are the situations will i come across and how to overcome them.
26/02/2011 at 9:56 AM #2354AnonymousGuest
these cases are trivial issues of life. If u r right nobody can harm u and these cases will pass. Important thing is life which u should enjoy. We cannot not enjoy under fear.
C’s not filed cases doesn’t mean c’ll not. It’s very difficult to come out of any relationship, so decide only when it’s unavoidable but then don’t repent.
26/02/2011 at 10:41 AM #2355AnonymousGuest
cracks have already developed and it is beyond repair and now you have decided to break. you know at any cost the relation will not improve so better come out of this relation and move on. if not happiness you will definately want peace and want to protect your parents too. if you are right and you have not done any injustice nothing can harm you. ask yourself. practically, it is not easy to come out of all this legal cases. abetting suicide is also offence. i would advice peaceful negotiations for parting instead of litigations.
26/02/2011 at 11:11 AM #2356AnonymousGuest
See it is your own decision to give your wife divorce or not, but if u ask me as i have got divorce and it is my wife has initiated inspite of their was not my much fault, so what i suggest personally from myside that, you must go with some mediater with a mobile which is having video and audio tapping system and you must keep it on while you start to talk with them and it should not be open to show them they you are doing video tapping, just keep it secret, and request you wife or ask your wife that what she wants she wants to stay with you or she wants to appart from you, as if she wishes to stay with you then you need to put some clauses which u like as restrictions against her for not to go for any type of mischeif like sucide or verbal or physical fights and you both can try to reconcile the marriage and carryon further if u wish to go for it then, if u dont as according to me u must find out what ur wife wishes first,i understand u dont want to continue marriage but think a second chance with it, that if u recover the marriage if possible then u should try that aspect atleast once more time if it is in your and her and both family members favour, but if u strongly beleive it is not possible inspite of the sucide case which ur wife has did, then also i am saying,so it is not a matter of divorce the word but it is a matter of a marriage which is coming to an end. so i feel u should try out for recovering with your wife, if a settlement happens among you and her and you both unitedly ready to stay peacefully and loveably then u should start that and if your wife says that no she also wants divorce then u must ask her that is she is ready to go for divorce on mutual understanding and meetings or she wish to go in to court. If she doesnt reply or doesnt give u any hints for that or if she straight away says you yes she wish to go to court for settlement of divorce as she may ask for her clothes,jewelleries and stridhan then u must understand that she is thinking for going to court as if she is asking for such things and u might have not given or u are not interested to give her back such things then court will be the last option for her and u have to pay those things thru court, so if such things is going to happen between u two then u must immegiately understand that u must file a police as where u are sure that she is going to go to court, if that confirmation u get then first u file a police case with your residence area about her sucide case problem and her discharge with good health certificate and also give the proof of your innocence (if u r innocent then) and then go for a divorce case file if u wish to hurry then her, and if u will keep cool after doing police case of what she did and also do mention in police case that she has already apparted from your family since 6 months then u will get immune when she will do 498a or b or 498 as at that time u will be having as proof of this poilice case that u have well in advance informed to police about the ill will of your wife to do flase 498 cases and also take proof of near ones and dearones and also your neibours as witness try to take them in to the case as they are staying near your housse so they will help u in police case so ultimately if u r wife will do wrong case on u then this police case will help you to get out without much expesnes to be done if she is having the proof that you and your family has did bad with her and u might have did or your any family members might have did bad and if she is having the proof that yourside is bad then god is the malik for you as if she has the proof then forget your innocence which u show to us (i am just saying) but if u r really innocent then u will definetly get immune from our bad laws if u do first police case in that u must mention with proof that your wife has did of her own sucide attempt and she survived and now since 6 months she is not staying with you and u fear for wrong 498 casses may be leived on you or your family and u must have proof from your neibours who are having good reputation in society as you all have not did any bad with her or her family then u get full support of system as then she will be on wrong side and u will be on right side so police and court judge will also understand u good and her bad so the proceedings when u r lawyer will do then u will get mileage in your case and u may win your case and she may loose, and u get divorce if u wish to get divorce first then but if u wish not to get divorce and your wife is admond to get divorce then u have to give divorce ultimately as no female is kept in her unwanted husband’s house forcefully, is the law unwritten but as practical, so it is like if u dont want to give divroce to her then it will be difficult for them to get it but if u and her both are ready for divorce then it is easy for court to finalise only u must be ready to pay some elle money as per your income and assets structure which your wife knows how much u earn and what u have in assets and how is your family is earning so she can ask for money form your salary as maintenance or ellle money and also if u have your house in your name then a share in that one also. if u have child then u have to pay to him or her but if u dont have then that is an advantage to you. so i think i have clarified your many concepts what u have to do,dont forget one thing if u are innocent then u must have all innocency proof for yourself and your family also and if u are guilty then they must have proof of your guiltiness, if they dont have the proof of your guiltiness then u are free bird but your conceious will bite u so give her divroce on that background butif u r good person and u havenot did any bad to your wife and if she expects divorce from you and if u dont want to give then also u have to give and u must give as i did to my wife where i was 80% innocent and 20% guilty but she was 80% guilty and 20% innocent and i was not ready to appart her with, then also i have loose much money and my 3 years old daughter and my reputation in my big family and also i have lost my wife thru divorce so she is living well in her parents house with my daughter and i feel really bad for the situation but then also i am happy that she is happy, so if u feel that you should not leave your wife then u must work on that side and if u feel that she is really bad inspite of such incedent happend then also i am asking u is becausse sometimes after we feel that what we have did is wrong then u must think on that aspect also and u must rethink twice before saying that i am interested to give her divroce first, as it may happen that if u try to check then she might be more unhappy with you so she only says i want divroce then u need not go to put golden net in to water, and u must accept her verdict with whatever reasonable u have to pay as per your situation in financial terms with true and fair and accomodative way to settle your divorce problem out of court settlement if possible but if it is a compulsion from both side or from her side to go in court and do settlement then also u must try to resolve and reconcile out of court as if u go in court then it is definate u have to pay much and more to court peoples and to her so better try to reconcile personally with some good unbaised mediator.. that’s it. kandarp…
26/02/2011 at 11:31 AM #2357AnonymousGuest
go to marriage councelors who are experts. mutual consent separation will involve matters such as return of belonging and alimony. be prepared. you do not have childrens so parting will not be that painful..
26/02/2011 at 11:37 AM #2358AnonymousGuest
please already your wife is verymuch unhappy with you mr. as she did of her own sucide attempt this shows she is how much unhappy with you and you might have did very bad that a person has gone up to this level as if she has not did of her own then it means you have did, no as per you told that u have not did anything then we believe that u have not did anything and she has did of her own and if we believe you that she has did of her own a sucide attmept then think mr.anuragupta, that how much pain that lady has got from you please think on that aspect also, so i am not blaming you, if u have not did anything means u are totally innocent and she is fully culprit is not always the situation happens, may be in million one case might be there where wife is tottaly innocent or husband is totally innocent, or else every husband sees that he is not at fault and so wife sees that in her that she not at fault then this sucide case has happened and according to you she has did of her own, so think how much she is unhappy with you, so better dont do any case against her i am not on her side or not on your side i am on humanity side, so what i suggest is dont do any case only do a case where u inform to police in police case that she has did a sucide attmept of her own and now she is perfect and ok in healthwise and she is not staying with u for last 6 months and u fear of 498 a or any other wrong cases may be imposed on you but for that u must have a good amount of proof that u have not trouchered her or u have kept her very good way some videos, photos, of ceremony, some occasions video in which she is happily living with you and your family and majoirity of your neibours should say in your favour as if u are good then only they will say or else not, then only u get immunity from all wrong cases and if u have did any bad then forget what will happen will be sorted out thru money only, then ready to spend much money as if they are having the proof against u and if they dont have even but you also dont have your innocency proof then only money can save u how much u pour it in legal system to save you and your family better to give to your wife then legal system so u go with some middle man and solve the issue on family basis then legal basis, it is waiste of time, money , energy ,job ,respect,emotional imbalances will increase if u go to court for many times and then u will feel its better to do out of court settlement,. as i have faced it so i am saying it is terrifiying and horrific to pass from such situtaion where police will eat money ,judge will also eat money and lawyer also eat money and all other rrealted to all these will eat money and other will see the tamasha and both side of parties will feel they are cheated by others, and society will be happy to see all are fighting and others will show love to eachothers which will pinch us in heart to see oursleves a bad guy or bad girl and feeling very bad to the scenaario better dont do much case on your wife as she is already hurted by you, either you wantingly or unwantingly you have hurted your wife and that thing u confess not in public but in personal in your heart as if she is bad then u are not good as if u are good then a person has come to your life cant do such crime of killing their own self, which means as an outsider something your presure was there which has led her to this situation,but nevermind i am not here to show u as cultprit and your wife as devi or you as devta and she is dayan, so both have their own personal likings and dislikes and so if u are mismatching to eachother then better unitedly give consent to be ununited i.e fordivoerece, so both will be happy at lowest cost and time and energy will be saved and love other person in place of her or him and enjoy your life with full of humanity, so according to me u must reconsilve with your wife with some mediatere that is the best opotion. and keep all the talks proof in audio or video recording so that u can prove that u are innocent and so dont be angry oon your wife evenif she becomes angry on you. as u are good man and that very thing u have to show to world if u are then… kandarp
28/02/2011 at 4:52 AM #2359AnonymousGuest
she is so unhappy with you that she attempted suicide. it is the last step to give up life which is so precious. all of whom she is related and loved will go through so much of pain had she died … only you could stop it. work out for the best solution with the help of counsellors and respected elder members. good she is alive she can rebuild her life.. allow her do so .. . you do not be the cause of her death.. litigations/ guilt will make your life more miserable.
why is she so unhappy? why is she making you unhappy? to save yourself from problems is secondary. think about avoiding problems?? give her some peaceful time to heal her emotional injuries… be courteous and part with respect..
28/02/2011 at 10:44 AM #2360AnonymousGuest
if audio visual recording is done for evidence during the meeting it should be made known to both the parties discussing. and both should have a copy to defend themselves.
28/02/2011 at 11:21 AM #2361AnonymousGuest
r u a fool?
28/02/2011 at 11:26 AM #2362AnonymousGuest
that would be true and fair right?
may be for you
28/02/2011 at 6:48 PM #2363AnonymousGuest
visu1999, whatever u do please do not take advice from this rekha_s. i think she is some feminist who hates all men. come on i cannot believe some advice she has given in other threads.
read this “why is she so unhappy?” ” give her some peaceful time to heal her emotional injuries… be courteous and part with respect”
i am telling u u will be doomed if u take her advice.
request to moderators, please monitor her messages. she writes in language of giving advice to husband by in actually is helping the wife’s cause.
28/02/2011 at 11:57 PM #2364AnonymousGuest
Why blame only Rekhaji. Even Sanjay Mehra and others are against men. They do not understand the pain of fathers. The advise is just in circles and does not lead anywhere. sometimes they snub people.
In my opinion dowry and alimony are trivial issues. No man can live with dowry alone and no woman can live with alimony alone.
Why this forum is not concentrating about having a no fault divorce and visitation and custody rights of fathers.
01/03/2011 at 5:35 AM #2365AnonymousGuest
Please do monitor my messages
Being a women myself I can think what might be reason for her reactions trying if i can do anything .. may be I can save some one’s family from distruction. I cud not save my family although I tried my best although it was not at all my fault. and I see the child everyday missing his father and he is also so much attached to the mother.
visu1999 is very lucky that he is not having kids.
each one of has different personality. it is not possible to control anybody behaviour. try for the amicable solution which is in the best interest of both instead of digging deep. that will only result in further distruction.
01/03/2011 at 6:14 AM #2366AnonymousGuest
This advice is useful and appeal only, when the girl and her family have a sound mind. But if they do have a sound mind, this act of humiliating and causing their In laws, is not expected.
Don’t know if you know my story. When I received summons for 125 CrPC, I personally drove 300 kms to Chandigarh reached there around 1245AM and requested my wife to come back as she is not in right hands. I was made to spend the night and next day her Lawyer and other relatives tried to humiliate me. I was not having a single person who could defend me. But the father of mediator for marriage told the girl in the presence of all, after listening to her problems, that she herself is not right and responsible for all her problems.
Even though she was reluctant to come back and when she came back after 6 months of case and compromise in the court room. cried to see, my son lost all his childhood. I, he was not able to express himself. In the case she gave a declaration that she will do all house hold chores, and won’t hit me physically which she forgot within 15 days of joining. Kept on pressurising me not to keep ties with my parents. Again started bickering about other women and I having relations with them. Didn’t leave the maid even who was more than 60 years old.
Now with in next 5 months, she lodged for 498 A.
So, I tell you, if the family has taken a single step towards th court room, the damage is irrepairable to the entire family and the final result is 498 A only.
01/03/2011 at 6:45 AM #2367AnonymousGuest
it is very sad about to know what happened to you.
like man some women are possesive, adament etc may be because of circumstances and upbringing.
If you cannot live in harmony . have a healthy conversation and part with dignity. you file for visitation rights to be connected with the kids.peace of mind is more important.
01/03/2011 at 7:17 AM #2368AnonymousGuest
You are right circumstances and upbringing affect everyone, as she herself had once admitted that she got this behaviour as she was deprived of love from her parents as they started take more care once her younger sister was born. she herself used to react when she sees that the family was giving more attention to the newly born, then her brother used to beat her. But now the same brother comes with her to attend the court proceedings, and collect the money which is being paid as interim maintenance. What an Irony.
Thanks for the advice, but I don’t need visitation, as now the kid is with me as per his choice and liking, which he showed everywhere starting from his School, then CAW cell and later when the police came to arrest me in 498 A proceeding and told the truth every where. He is the one who inspired me to go for Divorce. Can you expect an 8 year old suggesting his father to go for divorce.
Now I and my child with my parents are very happy together. Sometimes I feel pity for the lady, who herself set her home on fire. But don’t see a single sign of repent when I meet her in the Court Room.
I can still forgive and forget but some one should feel the guilt, admit the mistake and seek for forgiveness.
One more thing, her brother himself had tasted 498A and is divorced. Isn’t it interesting that she learnt all the stuff from the proceedings of her own brother.
01/03/2011 at 11:31 AM #2369AnonymousGuest
he or she will feel guilty only if he/she think they have done wrong. how many of us accept our mistakes.
01/03/2011 at 6:51 PM #2370AnonymousGuest
Sgrover and Rekha please dont misunderstand each other as u both are correct on your side. Rekha is good madam who has faced a problem from her husband so she wish to save this mr house so she is saying keep cool and do something else thats it and sgrover is a good man who has faced much from his wife who has enjoyed him for no reason and now he is in trouble or not i dont know or rekha unwantingly has given divorce to her husband is so sad, why i am telling to you both of u is because i am also one who has faced 498 a and what not for crpc 125 and many others i dont remember and i have also gone thru that trauma of police harrsing and eating up money and asking for more money while not leaving us from flase 498 a case where i was having enough proof of my wife and her parents are going on wrong way when i showed to police then also police says law says that u have to be in jail and your parents we can leave so i considered that also and ultimately my mama did much work with money and big peoples words worked and i need not to go in jail or else i was ready to go in jail even but the situation is un imaginable when wife or husband any one side is bad to the other and if other has not did any bad then he or she is in big trouble which all happened to us rekha and grover both are with me i mean i am with u as my wife took my 3 years old born baby girl and after delivery she has never came to my house till my daughter got something like 10 months or more older then only for 15 days she came with her parents are my parents has gone to mumbai to my bro house for my father open heart surgery which we have full proof of it then also they claimed in court that my parents and myself has bitten her and harreshed her which is totally worng where my neibours who are staying near to our house and not only one or two but all 9 neibours are saying that we have never heared any noise nor we have seen myself to bit her no quarel then also why your wife has gone away, the only reason she was having in mind is money of eelle money and maintenance as my father in law is a ritered governmnet lawyer and so they did totally plan in my case and did accordingly to fix us but god has saved us they were asking for 10 lacs rupees and i dont have good job and they were knwoing all my status and my family goodwill is very bad as my bro is earning good so our family is having good name in my family and we have worked in africa also so our name is big but my financial situation is not so strong then also they gave me girl is only beasue our family goodwill so that they can do this and they have did this after birth to baby girl and i was very happy to have my baby girl but they refused to let me see and touch her and till date i am crying for my girl but i cant see her nor i cant meet her and i am day by day trying to forget her for the time being as i cant do anything and i wish to fight a case for her to get my daughter to getme visitation rights as i dont want my daughter to apart from her mother it is a big crime if u apart a child from her mother so i dont want to do that but i want my daughter to love me thats it and so i will do best possible for that up to best extent which ican so i am happy on that aspect and so i am saving money for my daugther to fight a big case to work out to get visitation rights to me for my daughter. and i will will but i am just now waiting and watching so i feel at ease as at this time nothing is possible as my daughter is 4 years old now and so i am waiting till she becomes something like 6 to 7 years where she starts to understand the world very well in educational terms also and so then i will hold her thru court to get her love to me also.. but for that my wife is very tight and she is not ready to even talk to me and already everything is finished between us as i have paid 2.5 to her i.e 1.5 lac to my daughter in fd for 15 years and 1lac to my wife as elle money for permanent settlement. so but i was not ready to give divorce to my wife yet my fault was 20 % and her was 80% yet i love her but she dont want to come back and i was always ready to forget and forgive but she dont want to even do anything out of it and she only wants is divorce as she has planned i have never in my life span with her bitten her anything and nor even slapped her i always loving her but she was day by day changiing her requirements and always compeled me to change as per what she needs to be what i have to be as per her wish and will then only i was getting personal love from her or else i have to be roasted myself without my wife’s love to me. even she use to speak bad words to me and also telling not to give my salary to my parents and only to her and nothing to be given to my parents and bro as we are hindu undivided family and i cant do that, that very thing she expects which i peacefully refused inspite of her much fight with me and so she has understood ke meri daal yaha nahi galne wali so she took this step inpiste i kept cool till last moment when i was singing divorce papers in her front after she signed i told her be happy for your life yet i love u but as u wish i will also sign divorce papers. anyway this is my stroy, i feel what i cant say to you what i feel for her i really love her but i cant meet her i cant sleep at night till 4 am and i dont know what to do but i have to forget my wife also and my daughter also as i cant live without my daughter also but i have to there is no option for me. now that is the life which i have to face and i am facing and so i understand your both peoples feelings what u have faced is also lot. anyway keep it up to help others. see u later bye
01/03/2011 at 8:57 PM #2371AnonymousGuest
rekha ji u wrote earlier for ur husband
“if he had repented for his actions and asked for forgiveness, things would have been different.”
i assume this is only for men.
02/03/2011 at 3:30 AM #2372AnonymousGuest
we do not miss Dr. if you are there… ok . you are picking bits of comments and highlighting it without reference to context. have u understood what visu 1999 wants.
regarding my case. do you think his actions are appropriate?? this is for both men and women.
02/03/2011 at 8:13 PM #2373AnonymousGuest
that was in context to ur reply to sgrover. so ur husband was worse than sgrover1973’s wife. his wife needn’t feel guilty but ur husband should
anyways leave it. the person who doesnt wants to listen wil not listen.
03/03/2011 at 4:13 AM #2374AnonymousGuest
regarding my case, do you think his actions are appropriate?? yes or no.
what if your sister or daughter was in my place. what would you advice?
there are so many members each one having different problems all because of marriage. the advice what i give is based on my experience and what i feel right. people here are adults and think what is best for them. without knowing facts from both sides. it is not right to give advice.
normal wear and tear is always there in marriage. not only marriage in any relationship. building a healthy relationship after so many cracks is even more difficult. it is better problems are resolved before it is too late before there come point of no return. irrepairable damage is done.
if you cannot live in harmony. see for best possible solution wherein everyone is peaceful and childrens are not suffering because of your conducts.(man and woman). do not loose your precious years of life just being unhappy and fighting with each other.
time will not wait for anyone.
03/03/2011 at 5:22 AM #2375AnonymousGuest
As per the facts and circumstances of your matter if you are not willing to stay together and if you have decided confirmly to leave her , you may approach for divorce and if you have any apprehension in your mind that she will prosecute you and your family , you approach before Sesssions Court or High Court for anticipatory bail.
http://www.jaihindlegal.com , Mob – 9821387099 , 9224799546.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.