- This topic has 37 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
21/02/2011 at 9:44 PM #431AnonymousGuest
I am having a marital dispute. My wife is threatening for 498A. None of our property is on my name. But if something is happened me now and if I die now, can my wife is eligible to get the maintainance from my father?Is a widow eligible for maintainance?
22/02/2011 at 6:13 AM #2308AnonymousGuest
even she cannt claim In-laws property.
dont worry, i can say “die in peace”. but why you want to die…?
22/02/2011 at 12:03 PM #2309AnonymousGuest
If your wife is threatening for 498A. then file a DV through your father. and give Legal Torture and attack their relatives . attend local SIF meetings. dont worry and you have to kill legally.
23/02/2011 at 7:48 AM #2310AnonymousGuest
Thank you for your reply. I have twin kids just born on Dec 22 2010. But I am not allowed to see my kids also. I am getting humiliated by my wife’s parents and relatives when I go to see my kids. This is my present situation. Could you please advice?
23/02/2011 at 9:10 AM #2311AnonymousGuest
file visitation petition and also ask court grant permission to show your kids to thier grand parents.
23/02/2011 at 3:01 PM #2312AnonymousGuest
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24/02/2011 at 5:51 AM #2313AnonymousGuest
Thank you for your support.
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you can find donation link on main site http://mynation.net on right side [support us.]
no need to register to paypal, you can donate directly from CC to paypal.
24/02/2011 at 1:18 PM #2314AnonymousGuest
Thank you. I did the transaction by using the paypal.But, I would like to inform you that, with out paypal, you can not accept the payments for the present system. I would recommend using the Barclaycard EPDQ to accept the payments. I will do the PHP integration if you want me to do that.
24/02/2011 at 1:36 PM #2315AnonymousGuest
I have few doubts about the legal rules.
I got married(Hindu Marriage) in March 2009.This is my second marriage. When I got married, she promised me to come and live with me within 10-15 days. But she did not come and live with me for 6 months. In between, she started black mailing for money. I have rejected to give money.She is under the influence of her mother.Wihin the initial six months, she, her mother and their relatives started bullying and humiliating me. I bared them.She always abuses my parents. She told that, she was having an affair with one boy defore marriage and forcefully, her parents did the marriage with me and she also accepted that she hates men. I have these evidences in recorded MP3 files. After six months she came and live with me to UK and we were happy(I am happy but she is not happy but she is acting like she is happy).We were blessed with twin girls on Dec 22nd 2010. I have sent her to their parents home for delivery after 5 months of her pregnancy.Suddenly, when she goes to her parents home, again she started bullying, humiliating me and demanding for money.On Jan 11th 2011, we have decided to do the naming ceremony for my kids. She came to the function with the kids and her parents and shouted for no reason and throwed “Thali”(Mangal Soothr) infront of every body and left the place. Again, after two days, I went to her parents and she did not talk to me at all and I told her the names for the kids are registered. I left the country after that. From then, there are no calls from her and I did not call her. Could you please suggest, the best options to keep my family safe from her and with stand my family(Me, my wife and my kids).
24/02/2011 at 1:38 PM #2316AnonymousGuest
More ever, I came to know very bad about their family. Their families are dominated by ladies.Some of the ladies are killed thier husbands in the past for the sake of property and etc.
25/02/2011 at 4:42 AM #2317AnonymousGuest
you said you were happy when you were together… and now you have twin kids… problems happens only when she is with her relatives. what is the reason that you did not give her money when she went to her parent’s place for delivery?? you can donate money but cannot give money to your wife for her expenses????? names you registered were mutually agreed between you and your wife?
25/02/2011 at 4:50 AM #2318AnonymousGuest
take some gifts for new born twins and mother.. talk to her.show your affection towards them… give some time.. send money regularly for their expenses. any family matters decide mutually. .. and wait patiently for some time to settle matters. over domination and male ego will not save your family.
25/02/2011 at 6:41 AM #2319AnonymousGuest
I am happy to bear the expenses of my family (wife and kids) but not for their parents and relatives. If I dont spend for them, she is threatening to suicide. Names were mutually, agreed. But she might lie that I never consulted her in selecting the names. She is a liar, I have seen in many situations. She is having un predictable behaviour which is more harmful for me. Even, if she did not help me thats fine, but she always harming me, my prestiege, my ethics and tradition. I have booked her an air ticket to travel on 31st Mar 2011. If she would like to come and join, she can come. But, if she is not coming, my money will be wasted. This is the attitude of my wife. Always wastes money, my efforts. I belive this is real cruelty. If she is not coming, she can always, I dont want to return, so book me for only one way. I might have saved some money. But she never does that. Could you please suggest me?
25/02/2011 at 8:04 AM #2320AnonymousGuest
if she does not turn up on 31st march, 2011, that will be the end of this marriage. so think twice about implication of your action. think about the kids be nice to her if you want her and kids with you. you cannot have control of another persons behaviour. you cannot force anyone to like or dislike. she will also think in the same direction if you are not cruel towards her.
Helping parents at difficult times is not wrong. that way you will also win their confidence and gain respect. that does not mean that you are supposed to maintain her parents also. have a healthy conversation with her family. parents will not be forever. money is also not everything. think about the kids future.
25/02/2011 at 10:04 AM #2321AnonymousGuest
The main problem is she never expresses her self and she will go to her parents home and start harrassing me. I told them(to her and her parents) before she come and live with me, if they need anything directly ask me instead of asking her. This creates problems in my marital life. I believe they are doing this for the sake of only money. Her parents are well settled and they need our support at all. We will not have any problems if everybody is straight forward. When my in-laws are creating impulses in my marital life and my wife supports them is not good. How can I expect the woman can not respect the Mangal Soothr will respect her husband and take care of kids?
So, I waiting for her response. Every time, I am waiting for see her next step. What kind of life is this to live like this? We need peaceful life.
26/02/2011 at 9:58 AM #2322AnonymousGuest
if you have a communication problem by phone why do you not express your feeling by writing a letter to her. that will also be a proof as an attempts for saving your marriage.
if her parents are well settled why are they wanting monetary support from you ?
She may be attached to her parents.may getting all the emotional support she needs. and now she has twins and first delivery she will like to be with parents to manage new borns. ask her if she wants some more time to stay with parents for kids care.
no parents will willingly want their daughter life ruined atleast after the child birth as they know chances of remarriage is dim. they do not have confident that you will look after their daugher with love and affection. so they have apprehension send with you.
26/02/2011 at 8:08 PM #2323AnonymousGuest
I agree with you. I already told her many times in the past. If you have any thing talk to me first and then only u go and inform that to your parents if I did not solve that. But she never follows that. That creates problems for me. After she throwed mangal soothr it self, I went to her parents home (she feel that it is her home). She did not even talked to me. Do you think she loves me? I dont belive so. She did not even wish on my birth day when she was living with me, how do I trust her? She told every body I will kill my husband when I go and stay with him. So, still do I need to bring her back? I belive, when ever she throwed Mangal Soothr everything is over. If I bring her back, she may kill me for the sake of my property or anything she can do for her self to picturise that I did that. Then wat would be scenario in this case?
28/02/2011 at 4:24 AM #2324AnonymousGuest
do you love her? what made her throw mangal soothr. why is she hating you so much. why do you still want to live with her? is it for kids? you are not thinking of parting at the moment. does she want to part?
now that you are a family. you need to make compromises at least for the sake of kids. they need a father too. you cannot make some one love you with so much of hatred. if she is not coming forward you take the intiative. understand she is a new mother and she needs lot of love and caring too and also emotional support. give her some more time and do not force her to come with you till she can manage to take care both the kids herself (if no one is there with you abroad for support). your actions will show your feelings. nothing can be achieved thru force. both of you need to go to the marriage counselors atleast one. she and you will want childs welfare. visit your kids no matter where they are. it is your right.
28/02/2011 at 12:35 PM #2325AnonymousGuest
Yes. I do even though she came to me with the bad attitude.She will demand something and if I dont do that, she will try threatening me like this.
This happened in the past also. There was an incident happened before she throwed mangal soothr. I have presented a gold ring worth of 2G in the past, we could not find that in our house. So, we have asked her to did you take. She said no. Then I said, we can check that later as it is of only 2G and I dont mind if we loose also and I can get u another one if she want. This was the day before the kids naming ceremony day. it was already late around 11:45pm.She demanded me to check in the house in the midnight. I said, we can check later and I left the place. From then she did not take food . The next day, she did not participate much in the namding ceremony and we(me and my wife) have to sit for Puja for the sake of Kids. Suddeenly she then started fighting with me and my parents with no reason saying that we have not provided her food and etc. Infact we have asked her many number of times and many people are there as witness. Again she demanded to check for the ring, I said the same word to wait until finishing the puja and naming ceremony of the kids. Also, we have guests so let them go and then we can check them in the house after they left.
Suddenly, she thrown the Mangal Soothr and left the place with her parents. She is under her mother’s influence and her mother is very greedy about the money even though they are well settled. If she really, dont love then why did she get marry and ruin my life? if there is no belief and love then we can not live together. More ever their family is having very bad reputation killing their husbands. She dont listen to anybody except her mother and she dont want to attend any marriage counselling.
28/02/2011 at 7:01 PM #2326AnonymousGuest
ok rekha, so u want all the efforts from cutekoti only with his wife not showing an iota of compassion.
and why should he help her parents financially. clearly they are treating him like a dirt. u mean if one has a child he loses all his self respect and become joru ka gulam.
“they do not have confident that you will look after their daugher with love and affection.”
bullshit they want him to come bending on knees and become a henpecked husband. this is very old stategy of girl and her parents using poor kids as a tool to dominate husband.
01/03/2011 at 6:01 AM #2327AnonymousGuest
please understand cutekoti does want company of his wife and is also concerned about his kids. he wants amicable solution..
01/03/2011 at 6:21 AM #2328AnonymousGuest
you try to talk to her parents and express your grieviances.. if they are well off why are they asking for money. you have to maintain her irrespective whether her expenses are taken care by her parents. that is your responsibility towards your kids and her. tell them about your willingness to be with her and kids. may be they will convince her. you give her time. you do your duty and watch.
01/03/2011 at 9:39 AM #2329AnonymousGuest
If the people are that much straight forward, there will not be any problems. Infront of middlemans, they will agree for everything and in the background they will do what ever they want. What if she kills me when she come and live with me?Its like staying with the enemy and I need peace not like frightened every minute of life.
01/03/2011 at 10:09 AM #2330AnonymousGuest
she may be thinking in the same direction as you… may be that is why she is not coming…
is it easy to kill anyone?? what will be the consequences ??if you think her as your enemy then there will come a point of no return. r u prepared for this?
01/03/2011 at 10:24 AM #2331AnonymousGuest
will you be peaceful with out her and kids. if you do not trust each other…you cannot live together.
01/03/2011 at 10:28 AM #2332AnonymousGuest
But if that happens, Rekha ji! are you ready to take the responsibility.
I am very sure if she has said it then she meant it.
Killing is not easy, but for maniac nothing is impossible. I myself had found 10-15 sharp edged shaving blades lying naked on a tripod next to my pillow once I got up inthe morning. That incident still bring shivers in my spine.
Rekha ji! you cannot compare the your mental stability with the one who has lost it, whatever be the reason. Now all the bonding forces are missing like trust, love, humour, companionship and most important bond i.e. child who has not born yet.
I would suggest it is better to part ways. Because the suspicion will haunt them for ever.
01/03/2011 at 10:54 AM #2333AnonymousGuest
he has kids.. that is a important right
01/03/2011 at 11:51 AM #2334AnonymousGuest
I am ready to stay with her if she can give me assurance. I do need my kids. I dont bother about her even if she is not living with me. But the end of day, I need peaceful life with kids but not like Mafia by wife. To be honest, if we both have trust, then I might not need to worry about this.
01/03/2011 at 8:56 PM #2335AnonymousGuest
rekha ji posting from some of ur previous advice
“life without dignity and self respect is meaningless. tolerating injustice is more grave crime than doing injustice.”
now what u are educating cutekoti to bend banckwards and be humiliated by just not wife but her entire family because he has a child.
01/03/2011 at 9:11 PM #2336AnonymousGuest
rekha ji, sorry was just going thru various threads where u were spitting venom on entire male community.
“you mean to say bear all the atrocities because you are now mother?? why can’t the father be in the limits fearing the consequences it will have to his loved one.”
now i assume this is also only for females. males have no option or rather just one option of bending on kneels.
02/03/2011 at 4:57 AM #2337AnonymousGuest
look out for solution… trust is built on actions and should be initiated with intention of saving a family from distruction. when you are angry you will always think negative. what is wrong if you take the first step instead of waiting for her to come forward. you talk to her about your apprehensions too.
02/03/2011 at 4:59 AM #2338AnonymousGuest
take some elders help for making her/her relatives understand.
02/03/2011 at 6:49 AM #2339AnonymousGuest
How many times I need to do that? This is my 100th time, I have bend my knees for her. How do I expect her relatives should support me? Definitely, everybody is behind money instead of relations.
02/03/2011 at 8:13 AM #2340AnonymousGuest
if this is a situation. you file for divorce and child visitation rights. you will have to give maintenance to your wife and kids. did you file for RCR ? take a final stand move on in life.
02/03/2011 at 10:15 AM #2341AnonymousGuest
What is the maximum maintainance amount if I am an NRI?
02/03/2011 at 10:50 AM #2342AnonymousGuest
What would be scenario if she denied to give divorce to trouble me?She can say that she will come and join with me to demand for more money. What should I do in this situation?
02/03/2011 at 8:24 PM #2343AnonymousGuest
“you will have to give maintenance to your wife and kids.”
rekha ji dont misguide people. cutekoti is ur wife educated, was she working. these all factors will come into picture. please fight tooth and nail for this. these days judges know the ground realities.
about children yes you would need to give maintenance which i think you should and hopefully ur wife is not so cruel to spend the money on herself and parents. regarding maximum/minimum there is not set rule.
man, aaj ki hypocratic naari. on one hand she’ll say aaj ki naari yeh hai, aaj ki naari woh hai and all BS and on other hand she’ll come begging (yes even educated employed women without children) to court ki mujhe apne maintenance ke liye paisa chaahiye. well if u cant earn (mind u talking only of well educated women) there are so many traffic signals in india try ur luck there.
03/03/2011 at 12:23 PM #2344AnonymousGuest
I remember some where in our my nation knowledge it is mentioned some maximum amount of maintainance. Dr.Dsouza, do you remember that?
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