- This topic has 42 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 11 years, 10 months ago by Anonymous.
13/10/2009 at 11:26 AM #145AnonymousGuest
HI, iam 28yrs old , my husband and i have loved and married last year 2008 oct, wen ever he hurted me I used to raise my voice and get beatings as my neighbors told to lodge a complaint but since i love him i never did that and waited him to change. Although he used to hurt me due to rules and regulations of his family i used to tell him to not to force me or hurt me in such matters. for eg: his sister and her husband had bought some sex cds to home which i dint like. And my husband beat me for it saying its all common. many such things used to take place which gave way for me to race my voice. recently my husband and i had an argument as he always used to go sit in his aunts house one hour before going to work i told him to drop me to some near bus stop as iam working he denied and used to spend time in aunts house then went to work. after 2 days i told him if he is doing same i shall not cook and to have food tere itself THINKING HE WOULD CHANGE .for which he got angry and called his mom but she without even judging told him to leave me and come to her native and go to work from her house. he called my parents and left me with them even dint talk a word. Since same week we had to vaccat the house he came with his bro and took all his things. His family told to wait for a month so that he is cool as he is always hitemper let him be free and after a month we both shall live together. i spoke to his mom she told the same. I agreed to it. Recently I msg him to take me home or find a house or shall I find a house he told he wont come any were but to stay with him in his native, I agreed to it but before that I need to get my parents to talk with his parents.
Recently he came asking for money which we had to pay to his uncle ie interest amount. I some how arranged and gave he also torchered me to give gas book as some one is in need . I told its our property we cant give it others later if we are in need then what. But he started getting angry telling its his money and beat me IN ROAD when he came to collect the money and said he dose not want to live with me. Now he is not contacting me nor allowing me to stay with him. What shall I do. If I take my parents for talk also they all with fight and make mess and may tell he is not willing to lead his life with me its left to him. Were shall I go. Iam a female iam married. I will loose all my respect in society. Pl guid me pl tell me what I can do will I get to stay with him with the help of law. Or he just telling that iam torchering can win his case. And leave me easily and lead his life with other female.
Wehad fights for sex cds given by his sister
His behivour was so that made me to talk.
If I go to his sis house I should stay tere even after I dint had proper clothes to were.
After marriage I had to listen words from his family stating that since I dint allow his sis to stay for first night in our house I am not a virgin.
There are many issues for which we had fights today they all are making issue that iam torchering him and he wants to leave me. Pl tell me what shall I do. I want to live with him. My whole life is depending upon him.
13/10/2009 at 12:05 PM #1011AnonymousGuest
I have gone through your matter, whether you have kid or not you have not mentioned, if your husband is torturing physically & mentally then you have choice of prosecuting him for the said offences & if you will do that there will be chances of spoiling your matrimnial relationship with him, so you try to settle with the help of your & his relatives, friends,. If not suceed you issue him legal notice through advocate for the steps taken by you, I think he will come on way. Try your leval best, if not possible contact me, i will find any way.
15/10/2009 at 5:33 AM #1012AnonymousGuest
I really had to go through many times to analyze different pieces. This is what I think. I may be wrong. But I feel you should relax and give a deep thinking on your situation. Don’t take any hasty decision without analyzing the consequences. You are the Capitan or your own ship and destiny.
No matter what, no one should be spared if you are physically abused. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE. No one has any right to physically abuse you. But let me ask you this question (or analyze them yourself).
What lead to the physical abuse?
What are those little things that lead differences between you both?
What type of a person is he? By what you explained I believe yours is a love marriage. Don’t you know him in detail before marriage or is he a changed person?
Does he have an anger management issue or do you drive him to his limit with your endless arguments when he is not willing or not in a position to talk.
Instead of endless yelling at each other, have you ever felt that you both have to sit down and discuss to sort out issues between you both. You seem to be employed and you know what exactly you want. At the age of 28, don’t you think whether its right or not to consult your neighbors for your personal problems? OR to comment on sex CD’s that were brought by your sis-in-law and her husband? Its her personal life and why do you want to comment? My point is, different people will take your comment in different sense at different times. As much as you don’t want someone to get into your (both of your) very personal issues, your hubby might not have liked your commenting on his sister. Just think, did you comment more than once? Did you comment with others too?
You might have been arguing on silly issue. You got to know where to stop and when to say sorry. This applies to everyone. I know someone who argues endlessly at home when the kids are around and there will be a cold war for weeks and months. Understand the impact of this on the kids, parents and well-wishers.
Just think, talking to 3 neighbors and 3 lawyers will leave you with more questions than answers. When something is going out of control, you should have involved your parents. Only your parents know what’s “in your best interest”. Not your neighbors or lawyers.
Did you ever make an attempt to find why your husband is spending 1 hour at his aunt’s house? Instead of solving the problem, you went an extra step asking him to have his lunch there itself. I am convenience that there should have been a heated argument on this. I am someone who believes strongly that threatening in a relationship will not work. Relationship will not work where there is a fear, insecurity and/or threatening. I am not trying to find fault with you. Probably all these questions will help you in thinking and analyzing the situation.
I am sorry for the act of your mother in law. But trust me, its very common for the parent to take their son’s (or their child’s) side.
See, no couple is perfect. Every couple have up’s and downs. And I don’t think this is a very complex issue (wish I am correct on this). Any problem can be resolved by discussing with a rational thought process. Using elders on both sides might help. But when you discuss with both of your parents, I am sure you both will bring out weaknesses in each other. But you got to resolve those differences and make sure both of you identify what works and what does not. But if its too complicated, don’t you think its better to go in different directions? You got to think this in long term rather than short term. If both of you are not happy in this marriage and if its not working, a midst of all this chaos, confusion and no-trust, you bring in a child (hope you don’t have a kid and you are not pregnant yet. If so, don’t plan a kid soon). How will the kid have better life when you both are not compatible? Most of the people think that bring a kid in family will end all family problems. But that’s very wrong thinking. If something is not right between parents, it has long term impact on kids. Physiologist say that kids tend to take the blame.
But please, don’t live together for the sake of your parents or society. You got to live only if there is true love and respect for each other.
Do not wage a war listening to your neighbors and lawyers. You can go legally and get an order to stay with your husband. Use that as a last resort but understand that it will have a different impact on relationship. Hope you get me. I wish you good luck.
15/10/2009 at 8:34 AM #1013AnonymousGuest
I seen many women will not object any rules and regulations till they get married(as its a Love Marriage) and PADMA is 28 years old, so she should be mature enough to know how is husband family before getting married to him.
As per her own words Good morals (She call it rules and regulations) hurt her, it means she want carefree(bindaas) life. not only that she raised voice too, in its actual mean, she shouted back, yelled at him.
When someone is satying in Joint family they have adjust, and they should not object what others are doing for themself, as this lady objected for some English movie which she call it SEX CD.
When man goes to his other relatives house, when he cant face arguing / grumbling wife for every word, that also today women will not digest and tell above that she will stop cooking.
After all, i never seen Indian women(sister) giving SEX CD to brother (anyone beleive this ?)
and blaming husband for all her mistakes, now she want to stay with him by force.
i can say Love cann`t be won by force. it should be give and take.
18/10/2009 at 2:12 PM #1014AnonymousGuest
HI MR adv.Ramachandra, thank you for your kind reply, i understand you advice and thought of going a head with mutual compromise, with my husband and his family, i spoke to his parents, they how ever told to stay with them and my husband in their native, their talks made me feel they are worried if i go for a police , apart from that they adviced me good and bad and also i asked sorry for any mistake from my end. sir i still feel they are not trust worthy, in a way my fatherin laws words made me feel that i am allowed to stay with them but some time i feel they want to take out personal gridge before i stay their my family needs to talk to them, i do no what it is all about, let me explain: recently my co sis ter had adviced me to slap my husband back if he is beating me. since she had done the same with her husband. and now he is fearing her. by mistake i spoke the same to my husband when he beat me stating that she told me to slap back. my husband had told the same to my motherin law i believe and in turn she had fought with my co sister for teaching me this. keepin this in mind my co sis had come to my house with my motherinlaw and in turn blamed me that i have ego that i work thats y i fight with my husband and so on.. she called my sis and told that i and my mother fought when she came home in turn she had come to fight and take the gridge upon me. my sis got angry and scolded her and stated that whole family is hope less and make mess always. keep this in mind my co sis has filled what not in to my inlaws head and my husbands head. that all want to have a talk.. sir iam totALLY CONFUSED WHAT TO DO SHALL I TAKE MY PARENTS AND CLEAR THE ISSUE OR JUST GO AND STAY THERE IF I GO ALONE MY HUSBAND MY TORCHER ME FOR THIS MATTER. IAM NOT ABLE TO JUDGE. IF I TAKE MY PARENTS IAM AFRAID THEY MAY MAKE MESS AND WANTELY USE THE SITUATION TO MAKE ME FAR. PL TELL ME??? WHAT IS UR ADVICE.
18/10/2009 at 3:28 PM #1015AnonymousGuest
HI MR, JAMES THANK U for ur kind reply, let me explain , we loved each other and cared each others got married stayed seperatly, after 2 to 3 months problems started, first of all i blam my self for being possive about my husband sir, he is like my god like a kid i adore him a lot . he is my hapiness my whole life depends on him. iam not like other girls just say marriage kids oldage and death. i believe in true love care. i hope u understand how much important he is to me. after marriage he got a job in pvt co. were i realised that his boss is not proper i the sence, once we went to a trip. his boss called his wife and lied that he is on a meeting abroad.. i dont bother.. sir he speaks this way in front of me and my husband.. madam dont feel bad..iam saying this.. hey sharath see u should not bent to ur wife in life not to his family what they want u get them what else they want see my wife wanted handycam i brought her ect. and said make use of office girls in a nice way u no what iam telling if u have to get ur work done in office. sir all such words really hurted me.. i thought for a wile dont u think these words make an impact on my husband since he is still young. first of all his boss lied to his wife and stated all these to my husband in front of me. u tell me sir being a wife will any one not feel bad..?? and my hubby behaves so close to all girls hit each other and talk he allows them to call him in singular. if i do the same he hates and beats. i ask him when those girls can call u so why not i sir is that i need to see all this and cry in dark or guide my husband make him realise that all this is not good and to be proper. afte some days one of his coluges died in madikeri. my husband is so worried to go with her to that place along with other coluges. i was sick i had throught infection. i told him to get me hot water he is telling me u go take. sir. iam his wife see he is worried to go so far and console her iam nothing for him after marriage sir, if i ask its a fight. then a last due to non avalibiity of vehical he stayed back . casually we were talking he started feeling bad stating that she lost her fater she is a good girl and so on i told ok leave u said she has a oy friend she will marry and be happyy u no what is his responce?? hey she is not such a girl ok. i wondered what happened to him and closed the topic. sir all such things started hurting me personlally. i feared if he will change which he is now, i told him to quit the job sir in a different way is that i did wrong. he was harrsing me in these ways sir.. i am personally hurt. i felt he is having so much of time in office to understand other girls but not his wife, i felt before he would hurt me more let his go to other job sir, if i tell all this i not this law this society will not support me.. these are the tw reasons which gave way to problems.. if i ask also he feels iam fighting he never understands his behavior hurts me he is married its my life with him.. tell me what is my mistake sir. SIR MY BIG MISTAK IS THAT I USED TO MESSAGE HIM IN ANGER BUT MY MESSAGES ARE TOWRDS FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND AND CORRECT HIM SELF SIR.. KEEPING THAT IN MIND HE IS TELLING ME IAM TORCHERING HIM IAM AFRAID KEEPING MSG HE MAY PROVE TO OTHERS THAT I TORCHERED HIM AND WIN THE CASE IF HE GOES LEAGALLY .. IS THAT POSSIBLE SIR?// IAM TRYING TO MAKE CONVENCE HIM FROM MY END BUT IAM AFRAID TO LOOSE HIM AS I LOVE HIM A LOT I DONT WAN TTO LOOSE HIM.
18/10/2009 at 4:20 PM #1016AnonymousGuest
why is ADV Kachave asking her to contact him and he will help her to file case.
Even if there is physical violence, how can case solve her marriage. Advocates have
lost it when she herself does not mention violence, it is shameful we have allowed
such advocates in our society.
19/10/2009 at 6:57 AM #1017AnonymousGuest
Advocate Kachave ne yeh bhi to advice kiya hai ki Padma matter ko batchit v rishtedaro ki madad se settle kare and she has option to file cases but same may spoil her life. Ab yeh Padma par hai ki voh kathin lekin thik rasta chunti hai ya shuru me aasan (vakil aur court ka) lekin galat
court jyada se jyada us ghar me jagah v masik paisa dilwa sakti hai, rishta nahi bana sakti
Rishte court me nahi sudharte ya judte hain, vahan keval tode jaate hain aur dararon ko khai banaya jaata hai tute rishte court nahi jod sakti
so Adv ka kya kasoor
chunna to Padma ko hai woh kaon sa rasta chunti hai yeh uski mansikta aur uske advisors par nirbhar hai
19/10/2009 at 7:43 AM #1018AnonymousGuest
Women do not understand till its too late for patchup.
In marriage there should not be ego and never tried to dominate each other.
everything with Mutual respect and Love.
Many time i seen todays women do tit for tat, when man do something, she will do something else to hurt him in revenge. and this will keeps on till it reaches court.
PADMA, if you want to make your marriage work then, do not listen to anyone, decide what you want. If you think he is good for you then ask elders to talk. Forget past whatever mistakes happend between you both. Make him understand as yours is Love Marriage. hope he will understand.
Problems are there in every marriage, and only you both will find solution for that not others, others will give their views.
Make him understand his responsibilities towards you and family.
think from his shoes
Share your pain and happiness.
and If you cant do this, call any Lawyer he will get you Brand name DIVORCEE.
19/10/2009 at 8:10 AM #1019AnonymousGuest
Human relations between couple can be as simple as possible as fiends and as complicated as possible like bilateral ties of two enemy countries.
As an adult you got to know when to argue (or yell) and when to talk & let things go.
You got to know that fine line between trust and insecurity.
Many of the women mess up their peaceful life just due to insecurity and the famous term they quote is “being possessive”. Can you assess? In the process of being possessive, you might have started controlling and this could be without (or with) your knowledge. You got to know when to back off with your heated arguments and yelling when you are pushing your man to his limits. I am not trying to find fault with you. You got to know the human dynamics when emotions of multiple people are involved.
There is a very famous saying. There is a woman behind every mans success but also there is a women behind every women’s failure. And that woman could be your co-sister. The reaction and human dynamics between your co-sis and her husband might be way different than between you and your husband. What I want to explain is “no two people are same and no solution is same for two couples”. If you think slapping your husband would solve, then probably you got to think twice. I know that you don’t have such intentions. But believe me, building trust takes twice the time and breaking would only take half the time. By your explanation, I feel your in-laws are have taken in the sense that you are threatening them. In a relation, you got to know two golden rules and how to use them appropriately. They are:
1. I am sorry
2. I love you
Probably your in-laws are expecting the first one and your husband is expecting both. There is absolutely no harm is saying sorry if that makes someone feel better (pl., I don’t mean that you should take some crazy blame). Trust me; it comes a long way for you. Ego and anger cannot sustain a relation. When its appropriate, explain your hubby how much you love him. I am sure, if he did a mistake, he will not hesitate to apologize.
And what ever is happening in hubby’s office or his boss, why do you care? I don’t think any educated boss would talk ill about women or office. Because that’s his work place. No one would insult their work or profession.
OR are you under influence of your co-sis that’s making you think all negative about his work place and people (or do you have too much time to think only negative). The more and more I read of what you are trying to convey, I have a stronger feeling that your insecurity is peeving into your martial life. Please, give yourself and your hubby some time and think rationally. See if you both can get out for a short vacation.
Please, I am not trying to find fault with you. You just got to understand each other. My only aim is to save a family who loves each other. Which I see in you but you got to express it to him minus your yelling and insecurity. There is only one reason to save a marriage and that is both of you love each other. But just look around you get hundreds of reasons to break.
My best wishes.
19/10/2009 at 8:45 AM #1020AnonymousGuest
I have already advised you.
If again any problem contact on 9224799546, 9821387099
19/10/2009 at 8:51 AM #1021AnonymousGuest
THANK YOU ALL FOR UR ADVICE, I UNDERSTAND KEEPING MY SELF IN HIS POSITION. WERE IAM WRONG . FINALLY AS I FEEL THEY WANT ME TO Talk with them in this regard to win my husband i will try to fall to any extent. thats finally what i can do. as i have already told him iam sorry, and would not hurt him in any matter in life even if i get hurt by him or his family its in his hands to spoil my life or keep me happy.. at least as a human. i wish all u people pray for me and bless me for my future. a happy life with my husband. i do no that my miskae is i always felt he is mine and guided him but i undersrtand no matter what all humans are different no one can be the same even if there is love between them many matter vary in life . we need to be concious and not possive and spoil our relation. i believe all u people are in a stage to understand life and people and adviced me.. i have promised my self to proceed legaly in this matter personally nor by others force.. i still believe in my love and god that he would come to me. even if dose not still forgive me and no his mistakes also and give me life i will not hurt him only because he is my love.. may be one day he would realise my love and come back… he has told me to stay with him i his native but still before that he wants me to get my parents iam only afraid if his family make a mess and bring wrong toughts in his mind . i leave it to god, when i have relaised my mistake and asked sory to him only god has to save my future and give me happiness… i would not ask him one word if he says to leave him i will come out with tears silently… if he really has loved me he will come or i wil think he never loved me ,,, tis is my finaly decesion i shall catch u people with the finaly results once again thank u all for ur support.. thankyou very much kindly pray for me.. i dont no were all u r from but may be god has directd u people to help me guide me thanks a lot…
19/10/2009 at 8:55 AM #1022AnonymousGuest
i dont wish to proceed legally by any force or my self,,, because i love him a lot and dont want to spoil his future even if he spoils my life….thank you..
19/10/2009 at 9:21 AM #1023AnonymousGuest
My best wishes to you. put in your best efforts. please understand that you are not doing any favour to any one. its your life. you got to decide what’s best for you. Please do not hesitate if you have to involve your parents. there is nothing wrong. we all make mistakes. Should we run away? Is that the solution?
But this does not mean someone can hurt you or abuse you.
I am in USA and i dont mind talking to you if you need any help. email me at james.3iii at yahoo.com with your number and time to call. But all in all, my only aim is to save a family from falling apart. I may not be able to answer all your questions., but i promiss to try my best.
19/10/2009 at 11:55 AM #1024AnonymousGuest
We the Members of Mynation always support, guide to solve family Problems amicably
We never support Divorce, Single parent or family breakups like Other Feminists Organisations. Anyone can check other women sites, they streightaway say go for divorce.
Divorce is not Solution for anyone Problems.
PADMA if you need any help guiding or talking to your husband, let us know.
HAPPY MARRIED LIFE. and Best of Luck.
19/10/2009 at 8:11 PM #1025AnonymousGuest
Based on the way you wrote your posts it seems that you are very very confused.
You are trying to connect dots based on small incidents, which are common in every marriage.
I advice you to take deep breathe and stay cool. Panic will invite more trouble.
You must clearly define “torture”. There many forms of torture.
In many instances a simple feeling being nagged or used by some one considered as torture.
Ignore small episodes such as six cds.
Keep communicating with him by means of letters, mail and telephone. Use sweet words and low voice.
Give him time. Do not involve your brother, sister and parents to talk to him. Please try to involve third party.
I wish you best of luck!
20/10/2009 at 5:14 AM #1026AnonymousGuest
THANK U MR.JAMES, MR.RAJAT, AND ADMIN , I have understood the facts and wish to go a head with all ur advice i.e to stay cool, and give my husband time and convey him how much i love and can do any thing for him in life. iam really feeling better after all ur suggessions and wish i improve in all spears of life. kindly keep in touch…
20/10/2009 at 5:41 AM #1027AnonymousGuest
IN FACT MY HUSBAND IS CONFUSED TO TAKE A RIGHT DECESION, HE IS WITH HIS FAMILY A BIG FAMILY, HIS PARENTS BRO -COSISTER, SIS-HER HUSBAND- AUNT UNCLE THEIR CHILDREN, AND SO ON. AND A AUNTY WOH HAS NO WORK SHE IS A WIDOW-HER DAUGHTER IS DIVORCEE, AND THERE IS WERE MY HUBBY ALWAYS USED TO GO SIT I DONT DOUBT ON MY HUBBY HE IS A VERY GOOD MAN I TRUST HIM THEY DONT HAVE BETTER WORK. ALL FEEL SINCE HE WENT AGAINST ALL AND MARRIED ME THAT TO IN TEMPLE I WILL DOMINATE HIM, HE WILL GO AWAY FROM ALL. SO ALL CAME IN A NICE WAY AFTER MARRIAGE AND FILLING HIS HEAD DO TIS DO THAT, KEEP UR WIFE IN CONTROL ETC. WHICH I ALWAYS FELT IN HIS WORDS.. SINCE I NO HIM A LOT. ALL THESE UNNESSARY WORDS ARE FROM HIS FAMILY I CAN GUESS AND CONFIRM.. I FEEL HE CHANGED A LOT. KEEPING HIS FAMILY. I WISH HE IS LIKE BEFORE. he always says respect in society people ect.. ya its also important but wife and her happiness is more important dont u people feel. i arranged money and wanted him to take me out of station on birthaday, he says if we go his parents and bro ect will feel bad that we are poor and we are going for trip.. this is the most one which hurted me.. how to make him understand, its our life iam his wife love he sholud care me that to is only few months of marriage..
20/10/2009 at 5:47 AM #1028AnonymousGuest
if a person truely loves he will do any thing in life for his love in my case he loved me faced against his family married and now listents to his family and hurts me how to make him understand his behivour hurts me a lot..littel thing in life i need his care his approval to do and make me feel happy, i should not were chappls at home sice i was sick with cold, his sis once told he dint allow me to e=were do u think he will allow to were . keeping this in mind he feels his sis will insult him if i were. what is all tis.. if i ask he feel angry.. same as keeping a maid. that too in my =earnings 200 rs is not a big deal.. he hates coz his mom was opposing my co- sister having maid at home if i do the same she will insult him,. being a husband he should no my problem thats y i used to talk and fight for it. is that my mistke tell me.
20/10/2009 at 8:08 AM #1029AnonymousGuest
Padma, if you feel that matters aor differences are of that nature that they can be resolved by communication, go for it and resolve them for the sake of your lives. By all means, if he is abusive and not willing to continue, only you will not be able to make the relationship work in long term. So, just take a firm stand and decide for yourself.
On a personal opinion, I would suggest not to go for litigations as this will only spoil your life and that of your children and will leave you penniless (this is what they are for). So, as a human being I would advice you to recover from this as early as possible and be self dependent. It is said that God helps those who help themselves and you will agree to the same one day if you try helping yourself getting out of this mess.
If both of you wish to get separated, you can always go for it through non litigation means by mutual consent.
Wishing you all the best … and hope you are able to clear up all confusions and take a good stand which can improve your life and that of your children.
20/10/2009 at 8:24 AM #1030AnonymousGuest
I forgot to add … please avoid accusing his sis for everything. By all means one should not state things like “his sis gave them those CDs” .. this is absolutely not possible … Please keep the matters limited to you and your husband and don’t add his family members into the mess …..
Let me also add that brothers and sisters are the same for everyone, do keep yourself in her shoes and decide if you can tolerate such indecent allegations from your brother’s wife …
21/10/2009 at 5:26 AM #1031AnonymousGuest
HI , RAJSREE , THANKS FOR UR REPLY, AS U SAID (please avoid accusing his sis for everything. By all means one should not state things like “his sis gave them those CDs” .. this is absolutely not possible …) THIS IS WHAT SHE AND HER HUSBAND DID THEY BROUGHT THE CDS WITH PLAYER TO MY HOUSE . iam not telling its their mistake or my husbands mistake.. i felt its a cheap work what all the three have done. as i said my husband watching naked girls let me be clear its not about man and women have x. my husband watching such things hurted me i was angry i dint speak a word he him self started stating that ” what ur angry if u dont like all this go sit in room” its all common when i told its a cheap work he kicks me back. dont u think this is sick.
i am feeling bad being sis she encourages bro and gets all this home to watch. dont u think she is a cheap girl. more over they act they family is very respect ful. u tell me all tis is good.u no my mistake is i feel bad i talk against such nasty things in his family. i speak truth wich has no value always. i need to sit back and watch then iam the best person in his family. no matter what they do. since i love my husband i just want to protect him from such cheap world. make him realise that it hurts my feelings. husband wife is a pure relation ship. god has give pleasures between us, instead i feel being man every amn should no tis.
Please keep the matters limited to you and your husband and don’t add his family members into the mess …..
Please keep the matters limited to you and your husband and don’t add his family members into the mess …..
yes i realised tis that duscussing such matters with others wil give way for my husbands insult in turn my insult.
as all u people said i have relaised were to talk what to talk were to stop. now just waiting to get back to my husband and start a new life. thank you
and being a good sis i never interfere in my bros personal life. i no its his life i can only guide him if he need a help and being a women i wolud take his wife side first and think and talk and suggest were he goes wrong. women have to be respected same as men. there are some men who really do respect women and be happy.
i dont say women are perfect in my matter i talk because he hurts me my feelings , i make him realise and fall down. tis is what happenes always. recently he went to his mom because i told i shall not cook if he always sits in his aunts house. he dose not realise why iam stopping him he dont have patients to listen even if i explain. i dont no why he is like tis after marriege. before that he used to be so patient . but one thing truely i can say after marriage due to his family members he has got this changes. they always say i wil be like elder co sis, i will were jeans , i wil get servant, i will were chappls at home, i will boss him. all tis is put in his mind by his family so he stops me whcih i no. if i talk he dont want any explaination. being in love and love marriage and staying seperatly any husband why he would stop his wife with such silly requests of mine. tell me. its clear he is afraid were his family will laugh at him if he allows mwe to do all this.
21/10/2009 at 5:44 AM #1032AnonymousGuest
You may think husband watching XXX movies wrong, but men do not think so, they enjoy watching it as you women watch soap opera on ZEE/sony and enjoy.
I can say, those x Cds are better than those love stories / saan bahu fights. Most of these Hindi TV serials shows, married women having extra marital Affair , husband found out wife Pre marital affair, or Husband is having Affair in office.bla bla.
I know many wives enjoy watching these X CDs along with husband, and doing something in it for mutual satisfaction. thats why KAMASUTRA was written, thats oldest sex manual as per my knowledge, thats from India, so acting like sati savitri will not work in marriage.
In India most of the marriges are ends because of SEX problems, only next to mutual understanding.
21/10/2009 at 8:10 AM #1033AnonymousGuest
Padma, I know its difficult, but actually not impossible to get rid of the horrible past. As I said (and infact you agreed), please take a firm stand. You are a human being and you do have the right to live a peaceful life. As a female and as a well wisher I would suggest you to keep courage and take a stand (either communicate with him to resolve tha matters, or break off from the relationship in a peaceful manner).
God will help you in taking a decision which will make your life. And then, with your inner courage you should support that decision and free yourself from theese ghosts and problems of the past… believe me, one can always rise from the ashes and there are many people like you who have risen very high after difficult times in life …
Wishing you all the best …..
21/10/2009 at 9:34 AM #1034AnonymousGuest
YA I DO agree with u people, we are in a world were every thing is common and nothing looks wrong, no one can stop any one in such matters i feel, i am trying to be sati savitri which is not required in this society, but it dose not mean i wil change, i respect my husband and love him always and wish for his good always in life by my heart. i don’t want to blame him in any matter for beating or hurting me so far, i wish that one day he would realise what he has done , what he promised and loved me. sincere love still persists only people have to be sincere to each other i wish every husband wife be sincere and good to each other. its time only for him to realise how much i care for him may be tere is no one who would love him like me in this world. now i realise i wished my husband to be a perfect man in my life . and since i love him a lot since he is my property i felt possive in all matters. infact i was blind. i for got he is a human apart from he being bonding with me as a husband as a love. he has his own world to enjoy his own things to do. i felt iam every thing in life to him. but no iam just a part of his life. were i need to be in my limits . iam feeling bad only for this reason that i love him so much. may be if other girl was in my place she would have cooly divorced and been happy. since i love him i dont want to go far from him. at least i wish that he is in front of my eyes till i breath last. only god needs to correct him and give me a good life. if my love is happy enjoying his life in different ways i will not stop him. after all i wish his happiness in life. iam an emotional may be my emotions done not have value in his heart. i will change my self to see him happy tis is what is left over. but he need to come back , now that is the major point. iam afraid he may move to court will i be able to convence the court and ask the court to allow me to stay with him if he wants divorce. iam afraid if the court has value to my emotions and my life. pl let me no. will my words be enough to convence the court if at all he moves to court, what should i do. in this case. i am trying to solve it by the help of parents but if at all his family presures him to divorce . i want to no will my wish be fulfilled and can i convence the court to stay with him agreeing to all my mistakes let me pl.. this is a emotional matter will emotions have value at the court . as its only a year we gor married. can i convence the court that due to my emotions i may have hurt him but wish to leadmy life and the court has to give me permission to stay with him may be i feel he will change him by time, by my silence i have a feeling i can win his heart if given a chance to stay along pl tell me.
21/10/2009 at 10:16 AM #1035AnonymousGuest
KINDLY let me no. according to LAW , COURT, etc. what can i expect , what can i tell the court in my matter how can convence the law and make him be with me . i dont want his money even if he gives , when he is not there i dont wish to have his money without his care & love. i dont want to do business at any cost. even if he breaks the relationship stating that he would pay for me i feel its cheap i dont want any thing from him i will simply walk out. u no what , still his family specially his parents can tell him to stay with me but they want to take personal family gridges. as we got married without expences, his side they expected grand marrage due to financial problem i convenced my husband he new my problem agreed to marry in temple i told him we shall marry later due to shortage of funds he was the one to hurry due to his work problem, apart from tis as i said he went for the reason that i dint cook and opposed to go often to his aunty house as her daughter one had scolded him for having milk at the time of dinner, i dint want such things to reapeat. so i told him to not get scoldings again. i wish his good but inturn he hates it. apart from tis reason now they are asking me to get my mom and talk and insult us in some matter. i no they all are involved in he not calling and talking, apart from that they had meeting and planned to take gas book from me tru him. no matter whose fault till now he beat me i have my neighbours proof, but never want him to get insulted. but i feel help less as my family side only me parents are to talk . no supporters. his side huge bunch of people are enough to spoil his mind and our life. all were feeling bad that he went againt all and married me now they keep him and hurt me. people are so cheap sometimes. till now i never intened to hurt any one in his famliy. if i spoke that was due to their own mistakes. what u prople think in which way i need to proceed if he goes to court or divorce. what should i talk or convence to get him back. my wjhole life is depending on him. iam just 28. kindly let me no the rules of court or law. towards my problem and what judgement i can get. if at all the matter is taken to court.
21/10/2009 at 11:49 AM #1036AnonymousGuest
Do not assume unwanted things like Divorce etc.
meet him, talk to him, what plans he has for you. If he decided to divorce, its waste living with him.
You go as per law and ask for your rights.
21/10/2009 at 8:41 PM #1037AnonymousGuest
Different people are brought up differently. We are today based on what we were taught or experienced yesterday. Many of the children are brought up in “closed conservative” environment (or society). Over a period of time, the thought process too evolves based on surroundings and we choose our friends based on what we think and feel are correct. Thinking rationally (or irrationally or anything for that matter) is partly our upbringing surroundings and partly out of our own experiences. But this dynamics suddenly change with the introduction of new relation called husband (or spouse) and in-laws. What is very gross for you may not be the same for him. Because different people see through different things differently at different times.
In your opinion, do you think drinking is a crime? But it’s not in my view. But it’s definitely a crime if he is driving after he is drunk or abusing his wife or kids.
In your opinion, is it a crime if husband closely moves with his collogues? I don’t think so. But definitely it’s NOT OK if he is cheating on you.
Knowing boundaries in a relation (for both) is very important. I assume that he knows his boundaries. Too much thinking of an issue or too much conservative or too much obsession for anything is not good.
Its important that a relation to be successful both should have a common frequency (thought process). Yes, if both of you are too conservative or both of you are too obsessed (about one thing) that’s fine too as you both get along with each other.
<< *** its time only for him to realise how much i care for him may be tere is no one who would love him like me in this world. now i realise i wished my husband to be a perfect man in my life . and since i love him a lot since he is my property i felt possive in all matters. infact i was blind. i for got he is a human apart from he being bonding with me as a husband as a love. he has his own world to enjoy his own things to do. i felt iam every thing in life to him. but no iam just a part of his life. were i need to be in my limits . iam feeling bad only for this reason that i love him so much. may be if other girl was in my place she would have cooly divorced and been happy. since i love him i dont want to go far from him. at least i wish that he is in front of my eyes till i breath last. only god needs to correct him and give me a good life. if my love is happy enjoying his life in different ways i will not stop him. after all i wish his happiness in life. iam an emotional may be my emotions done not have value in his heart. i will change my self to see him happy tis is what is left over *** >>
Let me ask you this question. Do you watch too much of old classical movies? The more and more I read, I am even more convinced that you entered into a relation with a pre-set mind that your man should have these and these qualities. Get out of your fantasy world.
But let me tell you something very important. Please do not assume and make more mistakes that your husband is under someone’s influence. That’s so much of baloney built and infused by noon serials (STOP watching them). Adults don’t listen to someone blindly or is it your imagination?
Often in a new relation, there is a power struggle and adjustment issue. What is correct for you may be wrong for him. Understand this. You were in a serious relation just less than 11 months. Out these 11 months, ask yourself how many months you were together and how many times you had heated arguments and developed it into a cold war and for how long. Are you looking for instant bond and instant relation with instant results just because you both are wife and husband in the eyes of law and society? Don’t expect results without honest efforts. Trust me, building relations is not instantaneous. They take time and both of your efforts. Don’t live for the sake of your neighbors or the so called society. Live for your bond. Live for your relationship and live for your trust between you both.
I am not trying to find fault with you. But in relation we make mistakes. We correct them. We make adjustments. We define ourselves and evolve over a period of time and get along. And that’s how life is. But if you are overwhelmed (or anyone in a relation) and not able to adjust by something, then you got to make choices. Because if you are not able to adjust, and living for the “sake of society” (which is another baloney) sometime later amidst all these confusion you bring in a child, the child is a silent recipient of all this abuse.
But is divorce a solution for everything? Absolutely NOT. Do not approach with a negative pre-set mind. Often women jump around talking about their rights.
Now coming back to your most important question that you have been asking many times in this thread.
YES and YES. Both of you can go to court. Results will be way different once you step into court. Understand that legal system cannot build bond, trust and relationship between a wife and husband. Legal system is very successful building a concrete wall and developing hate between couple because that’s what is going to happen as you take one step and he will take one step and the court will take another step. And this will continue until its end of everything. Because once you step into court, you will not know “how far is too far”
Yes, you can get a court order to live with your husband. But at what cost? Your husband will have a TV, a dining table, a car and you. Will it be any different for him between you and other THINGS? Is that what you want? Do you think you will be happy that way? If that’s what you want, my sincere apologies. This is not the place to discuss. All of our efforts are to fix relations NOT break. Look around, you will get plenty of feminist groups and lawyers to break that we don’t even need to discuss.
Because, fixing is difficult but breaking is very easy.
My best wishes
24/10/2009 at 8:13 AM #1038AnonymousGuest
I spoke to l one of my husbands relative aunty who stays in the adjacent house in his native .she told me that my husband is planning to find a job in other city and informed all that he shall go far from all and stay. and if he dose so u cantt find him and so on .she said to come with mom and speak to them immediately. and my father in law told all are out of station for a trip till next week and to come contact next week.
i doubt that they are purposely delaying the matter and want him to go away and state that its his wish we cant do any thing. if such thing happens even after i taking my mom they say its his wish to depart what can i do. my husband phone is also off . i msg him that to forgive and forget the past and take me. if fact same thing happened in his elderbro life he had beaten badly to my co-sis and had run away for 4 months. then came back. my co-sis once had told me that his family purposely made him run away. kindly let me no, if in case after meeting them if his parents tell its his wish to contine. and if my husband leaves to other place what can i do.. should i file a case in this matter will he be bought to me and finalise the matter. see all they are dioing is a drama now. so many days i felt my husband need time to realise but now all are involved to break tis relation in some or the other way. as i said earlier his mom told him to stay in native as i dint want to cook. sholud i blame that my inlaws responsibility to get him there and now waving off their hands. i can surely tell they will do this mean while to end they want to also insult me my parents with other issues. pl tell me , its my life he married i agreed to be understanding even though its his fault always. now he denies to lookafter me as i said he needs to stay with me so that i can make him realise our problem, iam afraid if his parents leave on him and wash off their hands in fact he is there and all are involved in his support. let me no what can be done in such state after going and meeting them. should i file a case that we are going for a compromise and these are the issues happening. pl tell me URGENT.
25/10/2009 at 6:20 AM #1039AnonymousGuest
Involving him in legal matter will ruin all; it better meet him and consult.
Legal matter should be last resort.
go next week and see what they are saying; If your In laws prevent you from meeting him or giving filmsy answers, you can report Police that your husband is missing
29/10/2009 at 5:42 AM #1040AnonymousGuest
HI ALL , i have spoke to his aunty regarding our meeting, they have suggested to meet on sunday, and i asked what is my husband saying she replied that they have made him understand and wanted me to adjust as per their rules and stay in his native, as iam working in bangalore i need at least 2 hours to travel to and 2 hours fro. in this case his aunty replied not to worry about house hold work what ever is possible i shall do or other wise my mother in law shall take care i dont no to what extent. i am hoping every one would stick on their words. iam ready to adjust to get my husband back in my life and win his heart. and my husband has stated that what ever my fatherin law decides he shall follow. tis to the status. i need all ur support and advice till i solve tis problem kinldy be in touch.
29/10/2009 at 5:50 AM #1041AnonymousGuest
every one has supported and adviced me i could really find and know what is the world and what is my part to perform as a human. apart from emotional feeling i could find we need to give up certain things and forget and move on this is live all the way. thanks a lot to all. i can say i was really worried to such a extent that i wanted to end my life. as i loved my husband a lot and i could not accept the fact that he is leaving me. u people have give me a new hope and guided me were i need to correct myself thank u. i am only waiting for the last task and win over this issue of my life, if tis happens firstly i want to thank this site organisers who give way to speak our problems and has been a source to solve our issues personally. and all others who took interest and given their precious time to an unknown human with hopes and advice towards life and problems. THANK U ALL.
29/10/2009 at 6:21 AM #1042AnonymousGuest
Marriage all about give and take.
Hope he will understand you and your needs.
BEST OF LUCK.
07/11/2009 at 2:40 PM #1043AnonymousGuest
I have a relative who filed for collaborative divorce for the ground of domestic violence. Your husband’s beating is intolerable because he could do the same in the future. Don’t ever tolerate your abusive husband. Love is all about respect. He should have treated you well as his wife, and he should see your worth.
What I can advise is let him see a marriage counselor or therapist. If things remain abhorrent, then file a divorce.
08/11/2009 at 1:52 PM #1044AnonymousGuest
Why is everything a competition between you and your husband ? Men and women have different abilities, strengths and weaknesses. You can’t start a competition about if he can do this, why can’t I do so. Learn to recognize that your strengths and weakness are different from your husband. It does not mean you are inferior than him, or superior. Just different. These differences are designed by nature to fulfil different tasks. Women have children, men don’t. Therefore their body structure is different. Women are the care givers in the family, so the maternal instinct is stronger in a woman than it is in a man. Men have to provide and that forms the basis of how they feel about themselves. If you constantly try to compete with your husband, conflict is bound to be there.
09/11/2009 at 7:50 AM #1045AnonymousGuest
HI, THANK U for ur advice, as i said earlier too, i have realised my mistakes in tis relationship. infact i have realised my husband more than before which he was not. iam infact shocked for tis reactions.
but i feel still he is human with his own rules. but i feel bad that he never care to understand me even after telling that iam sorry for my mistakes infact my mistakes are very less compared to his. still i bow my head to him because he is my love i care for him. if u see i did only one thing i repeately made him realise his mistakes thats all as he never consoled me after i told him once if he consouls me once when i talk i would not have repeated telling the same.
now i make him realise he dosent want to listen. i only can feel he is sitting with his family and all are keeping him and making him think against me. This is the fact. In fact he told to come and stay in his native two weeks back before that my parents should come for a meeting with his parents. after that he came to collect money from me to give to his uncle which i had took, then he also asked for gas book i denied he beat me in road with his hand and helmet. i was simply wondering all were watching but i felt very back my husband beating me in road. in anger i told i will give complaint which i dint mean. For one year i never went to police i never want him to be insulted so. After which recently,
His aunty asked to meet his parents. my mom called them his mom and dad is talking only unwanted things i e. about the marriage, money, and they say my mom what we have done to her son in law, and she says her son is handsome so my mother made me to marry him, and about owner of the house were we stayed said that i gave complaints about his family inseams i am wondering what are their intentions And fights keeping him at home. He is not even reacting to my msg. nor speaking to me. he is totally against me. First of all he went with anger, now i can say he is totally listening to his family parents sister her husband brother his wife, aunty uncle etc. i no what they are all are jealous that i married him free of cost. That he is very handsome and he would have got better girl to his family money dowry ECT. iam so worried i just dont have words to tell. iam hurt so much he was the one who came behind me he was the one to tell his family is treating him bad, he was the one who saw the marriage date,. he was the one to get money from his parents. now he is sitting with them and making them talk. its so hurting i just feel he is so cruel. his family is so cuel. they are not even worried iam a girl. if they spoil his head with all such words he may leave me and go away. His parents can’t talk what is required to settle our life. But want to take revenge because i married his freely. He does also not even understand. He feels he is man he will get girls to marry and enjoy life. As his family is supporting him. They said they shall come home and speak. His parents come its ok but they want to get his bro and his wife makes her speak. I can say as she doesn’t know how to behave to ealders I need to see all this and sit. As u can analise in his family parents don’t talk they do meetings with other family members and create mess. If I talk iam afraid my husband will get angry and run away from there also I no. I don’t know what to do.
09/11/2009 at 9:24 AM #1046AnonymousGuest
FINALLY I HAVE decided, let all come let me see what they have to say. as i am right on my part. i am ready to face them. and wish the truth wins over lie. and hope my husband realises what kind of family he has. if still things go wroung i would only tell them iam married to their son, we had misunderstandings now iam ready to correct my self in all aspects and he too may realise his mistakes like beating and not supporting. even after that his family creats mess what can i do. because i am not sure any thing may happen they are so cheap people. after one years of marriage after my husband running back to his parents and family now they all keep him and come to fight on issues which is over instead of making us one and letting us to lead our life. then spoiling my husbands head against me and my family. some times people are so cruel they are so selfish i realised now. hope they dont give me a chance to make them stsnd in court. in this case i hope law would accept my problem and help me to stay with my husband . once i get a chance to stay with him i can really make him understand the truth, i trust my love he is with them so he is not allowed to talk with me he neds to do what they say.
i would say that i need my husband back i really dont want to loose him, i want him to take me with him and look after me in life as a good husband , leaving all matters and problems in our past, if they go out of limits i only want to fight for my rieghts to get my husbnad back in my life. thats all i dont have any intention to roam to court or station or insult my husband , its in his hands to avoid me to go to such extent to get him banck in my life,. i no its all bad and hurting and this matter amy lead to more problems and careless ness in my husbands attitude, i am worried really its hurting a lot. iam a women i need a husband to lead my life respectfully i dont want to loose him. more than all. iam feeling bad that all are trying to break our relationship. as ours is a love marriage, how can i forget his love, and be alive. its hurting…
pl advice me. at this stage what is my role. what best i need to do.
10/11/2009 at 4:37 AM #1047AnonymousGuest
PADMA, by force no one won anything so far.
Dowry case (498a) DVA or any other case will not solve your problem, As i seen in our 6000 Plus families only 2 or 3 back with husband. thats also not willingly.
No man will run back to his mother, if he get enough from his wife. You have to give more love and care than his mother. its difficult to break his 25/30 years of mothers food and love,still its wife duty to perform better than that. else man always has option, Read this http://mynation.net/abio/if-i/
Never say he has to take care of you, you take care of him,meet his needs and he will do the same,coz yours is love marriage.
Women always find faults in her man after marriage,carelesness and attitude, same they dont find when they are romancing(before marriage) so now you know who changed, and what made him change.
If you think you can make them to stand in court, well then go ahead and do it, and you will know who is loser.
30/11/2009 at 10:26 AM #1048AnonymousGuest
At last by gods grace, Yesterday I and my parents visited my husbands place finally to discuss the matter as they wanted us to come and talk. All of his family members up to ten persons were present. But I dint care; gradually our topic came out as to what to do next. In fact his family dad and mom and uncle told that we have married after loving each other now we need to adjust and go a head in life, and care for each other and every thing was that they wanted me to change as usually and adjust with all in every matter I agreed to it. Finally my husband also was cool we spoke to each other and I promised him we shall never fight iam so happy with lots of pain and tears, i told him that I shall never hurt him again in any matter. He also told that not to discuss any matter of our personal to any one nor his or my family. His father asked him to take me on Sunday to his native and both will stay with his parents.
I am really happy, today that I have got back my husband in my life. I have really understood all of your advices and want to begin a new life with him, THANKS A LOT.
30/11/2009 at 10:30 AM #1049AnonymousGuest
MR.JAMES I HOPE UR ONLINE AND KNOW ABOUT THE GOOD NEWS ..
02/12/2009 at 8:02 PM #1050AnonymousGuest
I am so happy that you got what you were looking for. See how your patients paid off?
Trust me, he cares for you. If not, he would not have said “not to discuss any matter of our personal to any one nor his or my family” and he wants to put everything behind lead a happy life with you. But just pay little attention and handle people, situtation and relations with extra caution. I am sure, you would be happy with the results.
Honestly speeking, I am very happy to see an update from you with positive outcome.
I wish you good luck and 10 years or 15 years for now when you have kids around you with growing responsiblities and unconditional love towards each other, all that has happened in the past looks very small and you will be glad that you were able to put everything behind you.
My best wishes.
04/12/2009 at 12:05 PM #1051AnonymousGuest
let me tel u some things even if ur feeling bored of my talks … i hope ur not.
i would say by all of your suggessions i could really understand what is life. in fact i was blind in his love i always felt he is mine so he would understand me no matter in what way i put things across to him, but now i have totally realised what to do what not. i only no keeping him happy is my only aim. i want him to realise how much i love him, how much i miss him always . sir i no that his family is always indirectly even in future will bother him in our life in our every matter. but iam prepared to be paitent i have understood that day will come wen he himself will realise what his family members are.
sir thanks for ur kind suggessions i am really thankful to u. always shall remember ur help. and pray for u and your family.
he calls me every day at least once, iam really happy, i could not believe he will come back u no i was so worried were he will leave me alone . tis sunday he is comming home to take me. its a new life for me. hope ur blessing are always there for me.
as u told paitents will pay one day. he is so good i dont no why all of sudden he behaved tis way. i would say always because of his family he does so. as u no there is a saying one rotten mango will spoil the other. just think he is lotus in a dirty pond. when he came to me i new tis . now to get the lotus for me i have entered the pond but one day i will make it.
now i no how to tackle his family so that he will never find fault in me. so much they have told against me to him one day they will feel guilty for this. i dont have any problem with his family infact iam least bothered sir, i nither want to be close to his family nor avoide them i have realise how to deal to them.
let me tell u one incident, of that day when i went with my parents, after all talks all elders suggested us not to fight and understand, later, father inlaw called my sister inlaw who was cooking , to speak IN TIS MATTER imagine he being father, he is the elder, my husband is his son instead of he speaking he allows her to talk can u guess what kind of father in law i have. he allows not only her but all of his other family members to talk and simply watch.
he cant take a step for his son but always allows other family members to interfere. this is what i hate in him. in every matter he dose so. later sisterinlaw came and said some thing to my mom till then i never opened my mouth ,
but i had to speak , i came near my mom and said to keep quit and i shall talk now. all were silent. i said to my sis in law ” tell me what proble u have with me”i shall slove not my parents. later her husband came in between and said its not ur problem its both of urs problem ,we are here to solve.
i said ok let me explain i told openly that “my husband is angry because i discussed our problem to u people” both his brother and sister in law were standing opposit to me. all were watching siliently i continued to my sis in law that
also i told her that ” my husband is angry as i said him” that u suggested me to hit him back if he beats me” she started getting angry and just went inside the kitchen stating that “i dint teach u any thing”. she was worried if i would tell every thing about her in front of all the people. never again she came out and spoke. sir dont u think if she had been correct she would have argued instead of running away right. see what kind of people they are.
later all told to leave the matter. they told i should not commit any suicied in his native in future. i told” if i had to die three months are not reuired for me. iam alive to get my love back iam alive here to take my life my husband back as i love him. his is my every thing. my life. u no what was next ,,,, my husband in turn stated that i too loved u a lot thats y i married going against all this family members “pointing to allof his family . i was so happy sir my heart was so happy. i felt at least my husband made them realise that he loves me a lot. i too love him a lot.
and i told u previously about his aunty who told that iam not a virgin and want not. the same women says to my mom ” ur daughter has spoke about me in singular still i forgive her about this ” she could have fought but she dint because she knows my mom would have given her properly about this matter that how could she speak about my virginity. see how people changed. sir i am right may be god has helped me for this truthfullness i feel.
now i no how to deal with all of them. thank a lot for ur precious time.
08/12/2009 at 6:33 AM #1052AnonymousGuest
I’m happy to hear ur back with ur hubby. In the future to avoid such things happening again u may read the following advice.
I’m married and have a kid.
To solve your prob u must know about indian husband mentallity. We want our wives to be submissive. Not to back answer. If you talk anything about their side the blood shoots up even if it has a good reason. So the only way to resolve is be submissive but politley when you have good times together try to explain in a soft way what you want to say. Never object to anything these indian husbands say immediately or harsely.
I’m also like your husband a bit short tempered. You must first know how short tempered people behave and why. This I’m telling you because u said u have a love marriage. All the anger the bad words the physical assault is for that moment. We really don’t know why we did it and whether we did it atall. I’m justifying the action but the reasons for it. Just after the moment I love my wife more since I might have shouted at her or beat her. She is also like you always backanswering which aggravates the situation. I always after a fight go after her begging to forgive me.
I hope you understand what i’m trying to do. You are like my wife and Your husband like me. Thats why I think you will understand. I’m also simply one of those authoritative hitempered indian husband
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