Not good, not bad, just sad and depressing life after marriage.

Welcome Forums Advice Maintenance Not good, not bad, just sad and depressing life after marriage.

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    • #392

      Hi salam alaikum, my names Tariq. I am from Ratnagiri/Mumbai. These days im really upset and sad, very depressing

      with my married life. We got married last year 2009 in the month of november. She is orignally from hindu religion,

      her mother and father have married twice. she converted to islam as per her wish to get married to me. before we

      got married i knew her for 5 months, when she became my gf, i got her home, made my family meet her, since 1 of

      my sister is also married to a hindu guy and are happily married. but she also use to say to me, that her step

      father is good, but her mother tortures, she had 3 relationships before marriage, she is very possive about me

      (which i dont mind),i love her alot, regarding to her mother she use o hit her on pupose and torture, when i met

      her mother for the first time, she was very lovely, i started to call her mom, she didnt accept me. but still i

      loved her mother as my mother, my wife also tried to take 10 pills and kill herself, where as she told me 40 and

      doc said 10. it was sudnay all dispencaries were closed, i had to take her all the way to sion hospital to get

      treated, it was pain. have done so much of things for her, but she doesnt realises, always saying i lost my

      parents for a guy like you, i gave them up and it continues to worst. before marriage she use to curse her parents,

      she was happy with my family, our marriage also was happened in unexpected way, it was like, i came from work in

      morning since i work in BPO, she came to my house (altough one day before marriage day she faught with me and we

      had a breakoff) she appologize, i forgived her. her parents came to college, she was not there, they called her she

      got scared, i said we are with you, my family was also there, we stood next to her and i told her, its ok, ignore

      them, lets get married if you want and they wont hurt you. she was happy, 3 days passed, the real thing started to

      begin. however, before marriage she use to fight with me for no reason, she use to sometimes blame my family that

      they dont want her, it all proved her wrong on the day of our marriage. However, after marriage her mom did

      accepted me as her son in law (at begining, later on changed). she also use to point my sister, she is slut and

      giving her bad words (not on her face), but my sis has heard once, she was standing at the door she was entering

      the room. alot of times she yells very loudly, i do hit her, because whenever we fight, she try’s to eat tablets or

      try to leave’s the house at the middle of the night, so i have to take quick action and try hitting her or maybe

      hold her tight or tie her up using my body till she calms down. she is done with post graduation, she is excellent

      in studies as well as in health, her this behaviour has been there before the marriage as well. im just 26 years

      old, she is 24. she says bad things about my parents. when i talk to my parents about it, they have their own

      complaints. for e.g. she will wash the dishesh, my mother says she wont wash properly, i have seen her wasshing

      vessels without using soap, she is lazy, cloathes are lieng in bedroom. bed sheets are not changed, guest come, so

      its embarrasing for parents. if they complain she gets pissed off, she will say to me look at your mother she keeps

      the house so dirty, i tell her, she is old and we need to help her around and she gets started, saying you always

      take your parents side and you dont care about me. this all are just examples. lately she is scaring me, by lodging

      a complaint against my parents and sister in the police station, she has said twice till now, the reason bedhind

      why she wants to do is, becuase they live their life according to their wish and their wants, she goes ahead and

      disripects my siblings, my cousins i cant talk to anyone. its very frustrating to control, but cant do anything,

      feel so tied up cuz i love her the most. To be honest this girl is very mean, if she is disappointed, she will put

      make her own mother’s life misreable. yes its true her parents marriage was love marriage and they got disvorced

      after 10 years. but my parents have not done any harm, im not saying anybody is perfect, everybody makes mistake’s

      thats what i say to her, my mother is crancky (she is 65 years to 70 years +) she still cooks and does the house

      work, i dont let her do any house work, infact i do most my wife’s work. i had a good job in a good bpo, lost

      because of my life, i got another great job luckily, but lost again cuz of her, cuz at that point she wanted to

      give me divorce and use to call me to at kaazi’s place everyday, since i use to do night shifts and use to sleep

      in day and kazi use to be there in day time. it was difficult for me to handle all these things at one time. i do love her and care about her, even about her family. what i love the most is god and not the religion, but i did had mentioned her that she has to be muslim so that my family can accept her, she was told everything. we never forced her to pray namaz, we never forced her to do anything, but when she thinks bad about anyone, she never recovers or realizes her mistake untill its too late. she is a type of female who will not spare her own birthright mother or father, even her father had an heart attack cuz of her behaviours. i remmerber that well known artist gave me a 10 rupee note after our marriage, i still have it, i only met him once after our marriage. i really dont know whatelse to say, i mean im not in my sences, i remmber a story that if place a big rock on the ground and each day if you put a drop of water, one by one onto that big black rock, after a while the rocks start decvaying then the rock starts breaking apart, same thing is happening to me. i havent said everything to my parents about it yet (even if we are all staying together). i feel helpless, need help please!!! because if i start to talk to my parents about it, they will start hating her, i cant talk to her parents, because i saw their messages, they are trying to split me apart and get their daughter out of my life. i really need a friend and blessings before things can grow worst, there is more to tell, please help me. she is not bad, but she can be worst nightmare, she loves me alot, but she hates everyone, im happy with her, but she hurts everyone. but i still need help, i cant live my rest of my life being scared, being pressured, beind tortured, getting more and more damage to my brain, from being a broad minded person to a narrow minded person.

    • #1885

      Dear Brother,

      Don’t worry , We all are have gone through the process of threat of Divorce/498a/DV etc prior since the day of our marriage or very soon after marriage.

      As you are from Mumbai,attend weekly meeting of SIF(Save Indian Family).

      Mail me at

      Meeting is scheduled every Sunday at 4pm.

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