the "evil wife & DIL"'s story!

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    • #419

      I am a woman. Had dreams of a lovely husband and in laws–was a very sensitive and giving at a point of time….But I am emotionally strong now and will definitely use laws to my favor.

      I was working in India…married an NRI…got dowry with m…and respected and loved his family and him. Few months down the line I realised that I was in a bad relation. My dowry was used for buying properties in my in laws names, while I wasn’t given any clue of it. My husband gave me basic food, clothing and shelter…..but I had no say in financial matters..and all extra money he had beyond basic needs, was given to his family back home india to buy properties for in-laws…I wasn’t respected at all..and my parents had no respect in his eyes…whom he felt free to call names in front of me, and ofcours he had romantic links, whom he didn’t marry coz his parents had asked him to marry me, but ofcours he never forgot those romantic links..

      In response, I reacted, shouted, cried…very much like the “bad wife” who has been described here in the threads. I stopped calling up or paying visits to his parents..and fought like a warrior with him…to no avail ofcours!!……He and his family in response tried to make me sign a divorce paper in US which said there was no alimony to, no property earned,and they owe me nothing. I refused to sign that paper because I think I deserved alimony.

      Anyways, I had a job in India, which I had left during marriage……here I am on a dependent visa and I am not allowed to work coz of US laws….Anyways I still took a job for some little cash and started saving that money…and tried to focus on studies amidst all the hell. I did housework….expected him to help me occasionally, coz I work a lot. But he refused. In India too, his mom wanted me to do all the housework when I’d be at their home, but here-I refused…not directly ofcours..I am not rude to elders….but I dont take crap from anyone….!…

      He has told me clearly that he will save money only for his parents…..we will not even buy a house for us with his money..and if I want to have a child, I should from my end work on “improving” relationship with his parents and be humble with him..My rights are limited to only receiving maintenance, that too if I take the charge of all housework…and my studies are not his problem.So I am supposed to study, do ALL the housework, spend holidays mainly doing housework for his parents….act according to their wishes….only THEN I am entitled to basic maintenance and a child (I am 30-31 years old).

      NOW…I am a rebel…..I have decided to pursue my studies full fledged–I want to be a trader in wall street and I am working hard towards it….. I have REFUSED to do house work for him or his parents……and have told him….that he is supposed to give me maintenance till 3 years till I am done with my studies–whether he wants to give me a divorce or not is his problem…….but till 3 years he HAS to provide me food and shelter.(I am taking care of my education with the cash I saved)…In addition if he wants divorce he HAS to return my dowry money with interest ofcours…..along with 3 years of maintenance!!….In case he wants me to do the duties of wife my conditions are clear ……..I need him to provide a home for me (I mean pay 50% of it…I’ll take care of the rest), have a child with me without putting conditions of being a doormat to his family…..and I will do housework if he shares not equal, but atleast portion of it-given that I have other work too!! My condition to be proactive in developing relationship with his parents is clear–they need not give me taunts…and he can occasionally call my parents too and give them some respect, atleast on their birthdays!!

      My inlaws and my husband are close to hating me for this….and I care a damn..I have my focus, life and priorities clear!!

      So I am that “bad wife” who refuses to do housework, refuses be a nice daughter in law, wants a decent financial security for herself before any money is sent to his parents….I will claim maintenance inspite of all this…and all the advocates of “men’s rights” and those who dislike women fighting and using laws to their benfits…come argue with me!!

    • #2087

      Few questions for u. seems u r educated lady then why ur family has given dowry at the time of marriage? Why u don’t have resisted at that time for giving dowry? If ur husband dances on ur tunes then dowry is ok otherwise it is wrong?

      Whether u have brother? Do u expect him to takes cares of ur parents or not? It is not clear u have a kid or not but after being a mother only u will know what pains parents have taken to grow their child.

      Look inside yourself then only u will know what is your real problem is and solution is with u only.

    • #2088

      1. Yes, they gave me dowry as a part of my “share” in my dad’s property, to help me with “MY” household……!!Thats a father’s property transferring to his daughter..!!..Why should I resist receiving a share in my dad’s money. Call it dowry / gift/ stree dhan….its MY money….my parents had just entrusted it to them,during kanyadaan and ceremonies….and I have rights on it–which they have kept with themselves conveniently!!…

      2. Yes I have a brother…and I feel BOTH my brother and I should take care of our parents…why should I not feel for my parents who are the ones to have brought me up…..and I will always care for the,,,,. I DO NOT think taking care of my parents involves building properties for them….its emotional love and care..FYI my brother has recently purchased an apartment for himself …and I am super happy for him!!…

      I have my answers and the solutions……I am created equal and I should stand up for my rights!!

    • #2089

      @sk_jha ..Now I have one question from you…..why should my husband not care of my parents, if he expects me to take care of his?

      What has taking care of parents got to do with building properties after properties for them at your expense….at the cost of your wife’s “stri dhan”…doesnt a guy owe a single accomodation to his wife and kid??…while he is giving money to build more and more properties to his own parents..while…no financial security for his wife?? Am I mad to share my life with him if he cannot share his earnings with me?

    • #2090

      Tell it Stridhan or what ever, giving dowry is a crime under law. As u r aware that ur husband has to MAINTAIN u then u must be knowing that u and ur parents have done CRIME in eyes of law.

      Second pt. u want financial security for urself and want to share his earnings but will not support him in his duties as son. Lady like u know their rights but not about duties.

      I again repeat look inside urself. Whether love giving by u to ur husband is less than that of his parents. Why one person will lean towards one way? it is only when he is not satisfied with u for some reasons best known to u.

      My sincere advice if u plan to harass anyone then atleast u will be also face problems. If u attack someone be ready for retaliation


    • #2091

      dude I have done my homework..YOU get your facts right..NO LAW in the world says that a father cannot gift money out of his free will to his daughter!!…Giving money FOR me is NOT a crime…keeping that money away from me IS a crime!!..Go check with your lawyers-I have checked with mine!!

      Ok now comes duties…

      What makes you think his parents have sole proprietorship towards his and mine duties-.mere maa baap ne mujhe factory mei manufacture nahi karwaaya hai….maa baap mere bhee baraabar hain…and if you care zilch about my parents ..I wont build castles for his!!

      You are a man..and you talk equality and self respect….when the guy asks woman to make this BIG sacrifice to care for his parents more than her own..and doesn’t give it in return…is it self respect on his part??When working wife come home from work and cooks and cleans and men enjoy dozing in is self respect?

      I left my career to be his life partner, cooked and cleaned…did compromises on my end??….he did NOT make me an equal partner…so better pay for it NOW….inequality expect karte time you guys dont remember self respect…financial support 2-3 saal karnaa pad jaata hai then you guys start remembering theories on equality??

      And excuse me…..what makes you think that the responsibility lies on my shoulder to make him fall in love with me or make him lean towards myself…?? Why will I lean towards his way if he doesn’t lean towards mine!!

      I have my choices too!! I had to leave my career at a point of time for him…and if I could make use of some maintenance for few years to grow my career further why shouldn’t I??

      You treat women to your advantage…why will women leave that teeny weeny advantage they have to come up in life??

    • #2092

      Hey, Evil wife for your innocent hubby and DIL for your hubbys parents…

      1)Streedhan and Dowry are very confusing terms sometimes.When you want to jail your hubby then you term it as if he has taken dowry from your parents… but when you claim this money legally ( i.e. by police /court) then you say that this money is your streedhan.So, basically you can mend the definition of the money/property recd from your parents as per your wishes sometimes as Dowry to implicate ur hubby and ur inlaws in Dowry Harrasment cases and sometimes as Streedhan to say it is your right to get it back.

      2)You are also educated , if you do not want to live with him and give him a happy family then better get a divorce by mutual consent , why then asking for maintenance and alimony….”


      3)If you give him respect and his parents respect then definitely you and your parents will also get respect.

      Change your rotten attitude and change your thinking.Grow Up , Earn yourself and maintain yourself….

      By the way what is your qualification….If you was working prior to your marriage then you can work now also,…. then why maintenance …..

    • #2093

      I LEFT a good career and opportunity in India… that I could live with him….naukraani ban-ne ke liye nahi!!…equal partner ban-ne ke liye….it was a sacrifice I did, so that we could live together…….!!..Tell me how many men will leave the role of office work to become someone’s domestic servant, just so that you can live together with someone..??…When a guy denies me the right to financial security…he is denying me basic equality as a life partner!!

      How easily u guys say…thats what the big deal if you are doing housework….he is “earning” which is big thing and it is “HIS” money…….!!! Excuse me—we are doing housework as a part of a sacrifice–not out of convenience!! and it needs to be appreciated….what kind of partnership it is…if the money becomes “HIS”–if he has ownership on our work..dont we have ownership over his work??

      …If I dont get equality…I wont accept slavery atleast!!….

    • #2094


      Hey, Evil wife for your innocent hubby and DIL for your hubbys parents…

      1)Streedhan and Dowry are very confusing terms sometimes.When you want to jail your hubby then you term it as if he has taken dowry from your parents… but when you claim this money legally ( i.e. by police /court) then you say that this money is your streedhan.So, basically you can mend the definition of the money/property recd from your parents as per your wishes sometimes as Dowry to implicate ur hubby and ur inlaws in Dowry Harrasment cases and sometimes as Streedhan to say it is your right to get it back.

      2)You are also educated , if you do not want to live with him and give him a happy family then better get a divorce by mutual consent , why then asking for maintenance and alimony….”


      3)If you give him respect and his parents respect then definitely you and your parents will also get respect.

      Change your rotten attitude and change your thinking.Grow Up , Earn yourself and maintain yourself….

      By the way what is your qualification….If you was working prior to your marriage then you can work now also,…. then why maintenance ….. “


      1.Just the fact that they have kept my streedhan away forcibly is enough for me to jail him…….!!!I dont have to use ambiguous terms….keeping the facts is enough….now its my prerogative whether I want to jail him or not. If he is not extra bad to me in divorce proceedings, chances are most probably I wont.

      2.I am ok with mutual consent divorce.

      I am educated, but I lost good opportunities due to marriage….there is a career gap I faced….and I have given precious years of my life to a marriage of inequality.

      To bring myself at par…I need further education……I have started my pursuit which I will not leave midway.

      Yes, I can get a job….but I had lost the opportunity of a star career!!..I will not compromise with it…I have given him precious years of my life..and many chances to be equal and fair…..he has been demanding unfairness all through…….agar do-teen saal maintenance lene se I can go to a “star career”..why should I lse the opportnuty….uskaa bhalaa karne ke liye..just to save him from paying me maintenance, I should give up the opportnity?? usne mera itnaa bhalaa kiyaa hai kyaa?? For me, he has ruined precious years of my life because of unjust and unfair attitude……….itnaa compensation to bantaa hai usko bhee!!

      3. I have given him everything. But I did not get it back.

      Just because he is a guy you decided he will be fair and will give respect to my parents..yu change your rottten prejudiced attitude dude..kind of sucks!!!….I am happy with mine!!

    • #2095

      **deleted repeat post***

    • #2096

      You talk about equality. Tell me for marriage proposal ur husband and his parents came to ur house or ur parents go there? If there was KANYADAAN in your marriage or not? Why ur father has given ur share of property to u at time of marriage as u were leaving them for ur husband place. Why u left job at first place? U should have insisted that u will not leave ur job to be married and u need one Ghar Jamai who will take care of his his in laws and will not look after his parents.

      If ur in-laws and husband is so cruel why u and ur parents not investigated about them before marriage? It seems ur parents also know u and wants to get rid of u at the earliest.

      Accept it not u have only one thing in mind how to enjoy life on your husband’s money, without performing ur duties.

    • #2097

      You are trying to say that shaadi ke “logistics” are enough to accept inequality in marriage?? What a lame reason to accept injustice……I didn’t care about the supply chain machinery that time….doesn’t mean I take crap for the rest of my life!!

      I left my job to live with him……dependent visa was the only way to live with him !!

      Ghar jamaai kyuu…when I am myself not living with my parents why should I ask him to live with them?? FYI I was living at my workplace at the time of marriage..which I left to be with him!!

      YES I want to enjoy his money…because he wants to enjoy my services(and ofcours my money too!)…..Its called sharing !!…aur sharing ONE SIDED nahi hoti shaadi mei,…!!

      Duties mutual hote hain..!!!I did mine…..when he did not do his..I STOPPED doing mine!!You have problems with that?? You like women doing one sided duties?

    • #2098

      And Mr. SK Jha…how could you baselessly say that my parents wanted to get rid of me…would you like if I say it seems your wife wants to run away with your neighbour….baseless assumptions lagaane hain then ofcours I can compete…better not get dirty!!

    • #2099

      I am writing with my real name, u r hiding with some imaginary name. when u feel that u r wrong then only u hide urself. My contention is 2 ways legal and society. It seems u don’t care about society. It is clear from ur postings that U needed ur husband only for monetary sake. If ur in-laws r so bad why u or ur parents have not investigated earlier so that u r happily married?

      Madam ji forget it that u will get maintenance. If I was in ur husband’s position I would have fight till Supreme Court for atleast 10 years rather than giving money to u. There r ruling that NO Maintenance to be given to capable and educated women.

      On my personal front I wish my wife to run away with some one so that I am free. She is not with me for last 4 yrs to take care of her parents, wants me to stay with them. I am taking care of her with out any Court Order. I have 4 cases on me still I daily talk to her. I have No kid but looking after 4 kids of orphanage aged between 6-12 yrs.

    • #2100

      I am hiding behind an imaginary name because its my judgment and prerogative to do so.Call it whatever you want… !! parents did not investigate earlier…..ab mar jaayein kyaa? justice naa lein??

      yes…I need financial protection (and I also needed a baby, but thats not important in the discussion here) from my husband….nahi leni chaahiye kyaa…… protection nahi hai….fairness nahi hai…parents ki aur meri respect nahi hai…..sharing of chores nahi hai ………maine marriage kya saath film dekhne ke liye kari thhi…?YES I wanted to be an equal partner……and I have no regrets or qualms accepting that finances are a MAJOR it or hate it..hai to hai..!!

      I am glad you are not in my husband’s position…..if you would have fought till supreme court….so would I have…!!

      You can divorce your wife if you hate her so much!!..Why torture yourself and her with burden of an unwanted relation?

    • #2101

      And by the way why do men have so much problem with women wanting money??

      When we ask your role in marriage….you justify everything by saying you bring money……the ONLY contribution you intend to do- you do not want to share that also with women?? Ye kahaan kaa justice hai…..tum paise bhee nahi doge to aur kyaa doge shaadi mei????

      You want a woman’s labor,services, sacrifice, everything and obviously if your wife earns she cannot send all her money to her parents……!!……but when it comes to you, you want to give ONLY money..and you do not want to give even that…so you want to give NOTHING to women and only take stuff from her….??

      Why Why Why should women not even ask for money, if thats ALL you bring to a marriage??

    • #2102


    • #2103

      My sincere advice ( u accept it or not) if u don’t like ur husband and his parents then go for divorce. Life will pass, without u or ur husband gaining anything out of legal proceedings. Must ve seen one person getting divorce at the age of 80yrs in media. U and ur husband will spend all ur energy n time fighting in courts. Every one has a right to protect himself and retaliate n if u file a case ur husband can also file counter cases on u, so be prepared for that.

      All lawyers say that they have solid case and clients fight based on this optimism, reality is far from that. Ur husband can also file several cases on u and ur family members.

      I can take care of my personal problems. Any way thanks for advice

    • #2104

      I have different case..I come from a family of lawyers. But I do feel bad for him coz he doesnt have the same benefit. Anyways….I intend to take divorce…I know it might sound strange from a feminist like me…but I do love my husband….but yeah my love is not my weakness….whatever people think I feel I deserve maintenance….and I am not asking for maintenance to take advantage of him…its because I feel lot of my rights have been quashed….why should I let go of the only right I have……when I have been denied the rest of them, and if it can help me go places…I am a hard working woman…but I do want a great career to make up for my loss of dreams and my personal life….and my previous career opportunities….

      Thats my POV….peace !!

    • #2105

      Same things from womens also. Why they treat husband as free ATM m/c. Why they r after husband’s money only? Any way have u ever thought what husband wants from u? He also wants peaceful life, a family where he can feel happy and contented.

    • #2106

      women are after husbands money only because husbands dont do anything else apart from giving money!!

      …you want the woman to serve you….if she earns, it should stay in your family only..?..but you share only money with her….to utnaa to share karo??

      How come men think women are machines who will give them everything….?? What is men’s contribution if not money??

      What do men want?? They dont want to be ATM machines…but their excuse for giving NOTHING to a relation is that they bring money??

    • #2107

      Men are ATMs because thats what they have made themselves to be….and now they dont want to be even that?? So practically they want to give nothing, but only receive….receive..and receive….how does their self respect allow them?

    • #2108

      And to answer your question, whether I have thought what he wants from me …YES ..I have not just thought ….I have heard LOUD and CLEAR what all my husband wants….housework, outside work, sacrifice, humility, perfection, being nice, etc etc….believe me the list is long..very loooong…..what I have NOT been informed yet…is WHAT I WILL GET in return of sooo much!!

    • #2109

      Sister Humanbeing

      Note a fact that this forum is not anti-woman. But most of us in this forum are those persons who are harassed by their wives with false cases in which they are helping each other. The help is also for the sisters and the mothers of those husbands who are also charged as criminals. As far your case, you have to check whether you have really taken care of your interests when you got married. if really your career were important to you, why did you sacrifice your career to get married? In this world, you can’t expect anybody to provide something for you which you like, when you can provide that for yourself. Just telling repeatedly that you have sacrificed something, does not make you a loving person. The first thing we need to learn is to love ourselves and that is the love we radiate towards others. When you got married, you must have chosen a husband with whom you wouldn’t have to compromise your career. Even now it is not too late for you. Instead of trying to blame your husband or anybody repeatedly why not try to focus on how you can do justice to your capabilities? That way you would be loving to yourself. I learn in a hard way that I only can be with my feelings. Same is the case with you. Arguing is not going to help you as everyone of us have our own problems to solve. Cheers and Good Luck to you,

    • #2110

      As per IPC 498A, giving Dowry equal crime as taking it..

      and humanbeing humbly admited it in open forum, as she says she from Lawyers family, i doubt that.

    • #2111

      Thanks for your advice Maha…. whatever makes you decide that I need to focus on my capabilities “instead of” blaming anyone….why can’t I do both?? I can focus on my capabilities “AND” blame anyone who I believe is wrong!!..Dont worry about me—.Blaming is not my full time job, and I kind of know whats best for my career!!

      About being loving, You think after taking any crap I want to win the title of the most “loving person”…I am ok with not loving anyone who’s not been that great with me either!With them, I would rather stand up for what I rightly deserve than achieving rounds of applause..!!

      My career was not important to me at the time of marriage…..but when I saw a marriage of injustice…I focused on my career…coz there was nothing else to be happy about… Yes…I sacrificed at a point of time….and yes the sacrifice was not out of pure selflessness…..I did expect something back–a nice, fair relationship…..I am ok if you call it “giving” instead of “sacrificing”-but I don’t think I need to stop ranting about it, unless I get my due share back!!……..its better to be assertive and stop sacrificing, and ofcours why not be assertive to get back some share due to you, if it can help your life in some way! …Aajkal to maid servant bhee free mei aati hai….slavery has ended and people want to be “compensated” for whatever they have given!

      If someone is wrongly targeted, I empathise……….but targeting women who are rightfully standing up for what is due to them-is definitely worth raising eye-brows!! whatever makes men think they can happily

      ignore the inequality they dish out to women………..women have faced hell lot of injustice, I am sure they would expect women to do all the sacrifices –while they can end up choosing the best of both worlds…

      About arguments on this forum….have you really NOT noticed those few threads in which few women genuinely shared their problems and how men wanted to argue to show how wrong those women were to even feel bad about themselves?? You didn’t advice those men to stop arguing ?? why me??…thrs a need to argue with such men…and I wish their were more women who would stand up and ask them what fairness are they asking ! what I see on this forum is that every woman who has not been almost murdered for dowry should not complain…….and those who are literate should not ask for ANY maintenance…..

      You also asked me why I should expect something what I get myself…..Ha !! Go ask the same question to men, why do they ask women to do the work which they can do for themselves !! …When the relationship LACKS basic equality, then PAY for it…..!!

      Logic difficult to understand or what……??

      1) Equal hours of work….YES…everyone needs weekends and holidays..!!

      2) Fruits of work equally shared

      3) Equal rights

      If it is NOT equal during the course of relationship….then men need to pay for it later!!…if you have given her equal free time-and made her an equal partner in everything in terms of in-laws/parents etc……..? When you have never given equality and fairness..why will you get it?? why should you get freedom from paying for maintenance etc!

      And yeah women can work on their capabilities and argue too…..same way men please stop asking me to stop…..cheers and all the best!

    • #2112


      You can go on doubting about my being from a family of lawyers….you could even believe I come from a family of tea sellers…doesnt change a thing about me!

      About equal crime….NO-it is not!!…Dowry asking is NOT done in the cutest way by inlaws..and generally some level of abuse and domestic violence(verbal / economic abuse is a form of domestic violence too!!) is involved…You can’t convict the girls father of harassment or domestic abuse just coz he has given dowry!!

      I have seen MANY cases where women ARE beaten and battered too!!….wife beating is not an uncommon thing….infact I feel any man who beats his wife for whatever reason should be jailed…irrespective of dowry.

    • #2113

      OK; I will not argue if you say, you are from tea sellers family. Thank you for identifing your family profession.

      Coz now i sure you are not from Lawyers family

      As per Section 498A IPC [ Ref : ]

      3. PENALTY FOR GIVING OR TAKING DOWRY. – If any person, after the commencement of this Act, gives or takes or abets the giving or taking of dowry, he shall be punishable with imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than five years, and with fine which shall not be less than fifteen thousand rupees or the amount of the value of such dowry, whichever is more:

      Provided that the Court may, for adequate and special reasons to be recorded in the judgment, impose a sentence of imprisonment for a term of less than five years.

      // these are not my words, and not from this site too, you can search same words in any Indian court Law books.

      Where i said men who beat women for no reason should not be punished. but funny thing is 54% women justify wife beating.

      search google “beating women justified india” or read this

      so thats not men fault OK.

    • #2114

      Hi Humanbeing,

      I am not blaming just wanted to put some topics which u can think if you believe you are right u just go ahead and use law for your favor.

      1. have u all ur money with you when u were with your parents? and ur parents were not allowed to use that money for their need without ur permission.

      2. Have you really thought my in laws are my real parents and relative from the day one and u did all the things assuming them to urs real one?

      3. If ur in laws objects on ur act have u just thought they are elder and i should hear and act according to their demand?

      Generally real parents does not object on daughter’s activity because they think that she will go to her home (in law’s house) after marriage so let her enjoy her which causes the problem. Girl starts thinking that i was never objected by my parents so why my in laws are blaming on me. They do not have any right to say anything to me.

      Same thing can happen with ur brother as well. because girl is going to a new house which may have different environment and rules for the daughter in law due to only social restrictions which they have seen in whole life so they wants to act their DIL to follow the same.

      4. The property which ur in laws are buying in their name will come to u and ur husband (may be divided if there are any brother of ur hubby) after them and i think same would be happen with ur brother as well if he has attachement with his brothers and family. I think it’s fine and a fair cost for a joint family.

      5. As u r saying that u were only allowed cloth, food and shelter , does ur hubby was going alone to enjoy the life like parties , outings etc.. and u were not allowed to go with him.

      6. Does he still have relation with previous love do not only suspect if u have proof only then believe.

      “”Kyunki shaq ka koi ilaaz nahi hai””. my wife always suspect on me even i never had any female friend to spent a normal time for a hour.

      7.Just think if this problem came when u visited to ur in laws only and u were not allowed to move freely due to some restriction from in laws? If this is the case it might be some social restriction which ur were not allowed to break.

      This u can see as a “gawarpan and pichde log” of ur in laws because they lived in that environment and wants to follow the same from u as well.

      At the end i am agree that still this society is a male dominant and girl has to put lots of effort first to win hearts of new home which will not be going in just one day. And a human we always see mistakes not the good work so if u did one mistake u have to start from the scratch.

      So just think over these points and if u think u have done all thing without any “instant result” and over the period u did not get u are strong enough to do whatever u want to do.

      Please don’t think i am a man so just taking a side of a man just think hundred times and try to find out ur fault so u will definitely find something which can save ur family. May be a sorry word even if u think that there is no mistake from u can make a big difference.

      this is our system which we can come out from in just one day. We have to break this slowly. may be u can say that i will not do this with my DIL but if u imagine it would be very difficult to break all the rules in one day. IT will take time….

      I will be happy if you take this comment positively and a offense on u.


    • #2115

      1. On the contrary, I used to sometimes ask money from my parents for occasional pampering…not too much-but sometimes. I cannot use my in laws money…and they happily keeping ALL my money without my permission is financial abuse. Sad if people cannot identify WHAT exactly is financial abuse!

      2. They are NOT my real parents….yes, earlier I thought they were special….but reality sets in gradually. In laws do not treat daughters in law like their own daughter…and its really weird to ask one girl to come and let herself be abused, yet keep feeling happy about those relations?? Why?? Is it such a sweet feeling to let yourself be abused?? Please let in laws be in laws…they are not parents point giving such illusions to young women.

      3. Does the daughter in law forces in laws to change for her..?? NO!!..She is a grown up INDIVIDUAL just like them..their respect due to age is higher…doesn’t give them right to control or dictate…for any individual–giving respect and letting herself be controlled are two different things. Advices are welcome, dictations are not. For your record, I have never been rude to them…but have I obeyed them exactly-word by word …No. Have I been criticized harshly for it–yes. However, I prefer to face the music than give up my individuality. I am born as equal human, and don’t need to be led by the ear.

      For record, I dont expect my sister in law to be my parents blind follower.I love freedom, and respect every human’s freedom…man or woman…young or old. My sister in law is an awesome lady with a mind of her own..and I duly respect that….if my mother has a disagreement with her, I politely explain to MY mother the generation gap, and how it is wise to change with time-and let people be the way they wish to be…..and my mother understands…..which smoothens their relationship.

      4. I dont want a divided piece of land when I am old, and live uncomfortably now…..I am sorry but if its about our financial planning for future with our money…..we can do for ourselves is better.They should nt take my money to make me live miserably on the hopes of me getting a part of it when I am old. They have enough money to live comfortably…and even I deserve a chance to live my life comfortably today, NOT tomorrow. I dont live in joint family….and if our expenses are how come our income is theirs?? Joint family means one way traffic of money..I don’t think so?? Neither are we living with them…and we have enough expenses and responsibilities to take care of.

      5. Is there anything else apart from parties??…..Having little decision making power on planning for your future / finances / children……or even desiring some financial security for rainy day…is allowed to women or not??…..Well to me is not allowed.

      6. I have had sufficient evidences and occasional confessions too. Dont want to say a lot on it as it has left deeper scars than anything else.

      7.Free movement restrictions?? I dont understand why would any woman take it…she is not cattle that you can restrict from even moving around (My in laws have not put any movement restrictions on me…or tied me in chains……and if you think I should be thankful for it….would you also want me to be thankful that my in-laws havent burnt me alive …please…..just imagining even more atrocious conditions doesnt make me feel better )

      For your last comments…..yes this society is male dominant……but why a slow or gradual movement??…..every freedom movement was successful because men were aggressive to push it further…if women too understand what is equality and freedom and value it enough to want it, change will happen….till then-we are happy with little biased laws…coz we face so much injustice that we do want something to make up for it at the peak of all the frustration.

      I am not writing here to defend myself, but to start talking about equality…where I see bias… journey and my fight is mine alone..and nI will fight it out..and I believe I will emerge a winner in my journey, and I am not scared of being opposed. About my family and marital happiness…..if I find someone in my life’s journey who respects women….good for me….otherwise its better to die free than live like a slave. But somewhere I do believe that there are men out there better than this….and definitely there is someone who will be there for me, appreciating my values…I will join a bond in a family of fairness…or die trying ….but will not accet unjust things.

      though I am defending my own story here,yet I am not writing here for my own benefit…but for women who have been weakened by the system, but still want to come out strong……..who are angry with this system and want to change it…and for men, who do not believe in convenient values that only suit them. If my ideas affect them…..I will be happy they were worth it….if not atleast I am trying.

      I am not writing for people like Mr Dsouza…..but for those who understand my values, that they are based on equality and justice….and why maintenance is not unfair in today’s Indian set up, unless equality is given……I am arguing with men here,so that those women who have shied from arguing till now..come out and speak!!…..

    • #2116

      Dunno why so many logics are being given to prove other wrong.

      There are rules/ritual of the family/society which are being followed since ages. No body clearly knows how those got developed but definitely there must be some ground as most of the old things are now getting their scientific/logical reasons. If there are rules that Boy buys the bread and girls cook the same, one should not now question how these got developed. Plain and simple while in Rome follow the rules they have dictated else get alienated.

      This happens in most of the stories, where DIL starts singing her own song of liberty, the day she enters a new house after marriage without completely understanding the rituals and rules being followed in the family. She must understand, she is the one who has to get herself adjusted to the new environment and she gets full support from her husband and even God, who made the girl in that way more flexibile and adaptable. Don’t go by word it is physically visible too. Can some one expect any Indian staying in other country starts demanding Indian laws to be implemented in the new country.

      ‘Human being’ – we are just fed with your side of story and your counter part definitely would have something to say. Ny ways, at heart everybody knows what he/she has done, but not the long term effects of the doing.

      One more thing, I don’t why your reason to be here on this site. Do you want help, suggestion or some legal advice. To me it seems your own guilt brings you here all the time and you want others to believe, you and your thoughts are correct.

    • #2117


      “Why so many logics are given?”…Because….So many logics are needed to talk to men who have been blinded by lust, greed and their will to dominate. Because this forum needs to address the “twisted logics” men give here that suit them…??? 16th century laws unke favor mei hain to unko impose karo…aaj ke kuchh laws unke favor mei nahi hain then suppress them??

      What rules are you talking about?? There were rules going on since ages for burning women alive at the funeral pyre of her husband….”Sati”..there were people like YOU who supported such “laws” that time coz these favored them….so what if they were brutal to women…?? There were evil rules and customs about cast, female infanticide, slavery, child marriage……….the society has been full of evils…..while a particular section wants to “rule” on the pretext of “Age Old ” customs!!….YOUR customs NEED to change…and if men have forgotten that manhood is not about dominating women, and expecting slavery….then women are equipped to make the much needed change happen….What a reason!! Do something because its “Age Old”..Huh!!

      Again I doubt that adjustment is an ovarian quality and should be “imposed” exclusively on women….why? coz they need to be mentally trained to let the men have their way…..??

      You asking me why I am here—first you tell me, why are you here,on this thread–help, suggestion…or advice??……..Or is it your guilt that makes you write things against me, any woman standing up for yourself??Perpetrators of injustice cannot bear to think all the wrong-doings THEY have been upto!

      As far as my reasons are concerned …I have stated them clearly IN ABOVE POST ABOUT WHY I WRITE HERE!!…men who want to enforce prejudiced, one sided..loose ideas that exclusively were made by similar people like them, need to be told about the twisted, greedy mentality which is the root of all issues!!…This forum is against gender bias..karte wakt kuchh nahi lagtaa.?? age old customs hain.??…women ko support karne waale laws yaad aate hain…tab change karo laws ko?? Why?? You respect laws?? Huh!!…then respect ALL laws which are gradually understanding the support women need!!…And if you feel bad about gender bias…then FAIRLY eliminate gender bias..EVERYWAY….or your talks about bringing fair laws is just another twisted manipulation driven by the desire to suppress every kind of support a woman should get to stand with equality and dignity…!!

    • #2118

      Logics on this forum seems to be twisted only those who think women is victim and all men are villains.

      sati was Hindu custom, dead husband never forced her to jump on his pyre, dont blame husband for that ask your religion.

      When women dont do her duty, if man reminds her for responsibility, feminists like you its SLAVERY/or domination.

      most of members express their views here and exchnage ideas what they stand for but not for their guilty feelings. and this forum allow both type of suggestions, as most of feminits/women controled websites only praise women, and mislead other women.

      inhumanbeing can you show one (at least one) law which support men cause…? as you wrote you have legal knowledge

      here is article list most women centric laws which are totally aginst men [ dont blame me if you get Heart attack]

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