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What if women ran the world ?

( 1)Medical research money would be spent on developing new birth control methods for men.
( 2)Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
( 3)Men would be forced to purchase overpriced clothes every season.
( 4)Overweight men would be encouraged to wear girdles.
( 5)PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
( 6)Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
( 7)Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
( 8)”Ms. Magazine” would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
( 9)Men who designed women’s shoes would be forced to wear them.
(10)Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
(11)Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make.
(12)Men would learn phrases like: I’m sorry, I love you, You’re beautiful, Of course you don’t look fat in that outfit, Go to sleep-I’ll take care of the baby, etc.
(13)Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
(14)Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars.
(15)All toilet seats would be nailed down.
(16)All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.
(17)Men would have their wedding rings permanently attached so they can’t pretend to be single.
(18)For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.

A Man’s opinion of what the world would be like if women ran it…

 

  1. Contact Sports event would only be 20 mins.
  2. Defence Force uniforms would be designed by Armani, Gucci, DKNY, Calvin Klein.
  3. Men would be sent in concentration camps where we would endure such painfully boring and useless crap like; Relationship Analysis, Parenthood, Monogamy, Art and Craft, Arts Appreciation, Mixing and Matching Clothes 101.
  4. Shopping hours would extend to midnight every day.
  5. Burger king would have to make Organically grown, no fat, no taste food. 
  6. Major headlines in all newspapers would usually be about which male heartthrob is getting hitched and where the sales are happening are in town.
  7. Speed limits would be around 15 mph or 35 kph in metric scale countries, because that’s the safest speed produced by women who are putting on makeup while they drive.
  8. The new series of survivor would be made inside five star resort and challenge would consist of buying clothes at K-Mart and Target.
  9. There would be cosmetic hop up shops like car hop up shops.
  10. There will be no more public holidays as we know it, cos Women will be taking days of every 28 days anyway. 
  11. No financial decisions would be made without a woman’s sayso.
  12. They would have Tupperware, Diet, Jenny Craig, Tampon commercials during the Superbowl.
  13. We would go in a construction site wearing a suit.
  14. Men who achieve great thing in the name of science and technological progression and advancement would be ignored. Women who discover a new shade of colour for a lipstick would receive the nobel price.
  15. The pulitzer prize will no longer be judged on journalistic excellence, but on who has the biggest gossip on what celebrity. 
  16. Schools would no longer be named after great men like Gorge Washington, and such but after women like Hillary Clinton, Oprah, Betty Crocker and the dickhead who designed the Mall of America.
  17. Six-pack beers would be replaced by six-pack champagne in lil wine bottles.
  18. Hooters would be replaced by a Salad bar which has male waitresses wearing nothing but underwear.
  19. Medical research on curing diseases would be replaced by Curing cosmetic defects such as moles, web feet, Freckles, and pimples from childbirth.
  20. The new International Space Station would have a powder room and be able to access Oprah and Daytime TV from wherever in orbit they are.

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