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Flip-Flopping From Rusty Feminist Sailor to Girlie Beached Whale Nets Women £200,000 for 5ft. Jump

The British Royal Navy has been ordered to pay Sinead Dodds nearly £200,000 (over $400,000 US) after breaking her ankle on a 5ft. jump. The poor thing. It was just 11 days into basic training when she had to jump the already “lowered for women” simple jump.

Ms. Dodds is now showing the kind of fortitude that Lord Nelson would find very French (since he lost a eye and arm and still carried on in good form). After breaking her ankle she now says that as a result of the accident she can no longer wear a skirt.

She welcomes the compensation (with men probably dying in the Middle East for less), claiming it was a fair reflection of her suffering since the accident. She said, ‘I’ve lost all confidence (sob) as I can’t do anything for myself and people stare at me (better than ducking IUDs) when I’m walking. Ms. Dodds said she followed her trainer’s instructions to the letter (such a trooper, and 5ft. now less), only to be left with a terrible debilitating ankle problem. Five years on the former recruit now walks with a limp and is claiming to be registered disabled (maybe she can take a parking space from someone who lost a limb in a war). Her doctor has also told her she is unfit for full-time work (Surprise, surprise- Im sure her doctor would say get off your duff and be the sailor you claimed to equally want to be).

She has told everyone she could only wear flat shoes (no heels!, well she should have been given 1 million) and can never wear a skirt because she is self-conscious about the surgical scars on her ankle (Grrrrr#$%&! close quarters #&*! etc).

The judge said the instructor should have given them the option of jumping from a sitting position (yes it is called falling while sitting on your *censor*). Yes, the legalese way to train the military (surely to scare the dickens out of the terrorists).

She also added: ‘I had to go up and down the stairs to my accommodation on my bum (actually would have liked to see that). The overwhelming urge to become Captain Blood and shout, “ARG! Mattes get dis blob off her poop deck or Ill keel haul her *censor* to the jellyfish mighty quick.” Which would be followed by many, “Arg args” as the crew would agree with the cap something fierce!!

Since her discharge she has battled drinking problems (I feel like a one too!) and needs counseling (for Christ sakes put her out of her misery).

She said: ‘I could not get from my kitchen to the door at the end of my living room (poor thing must stay near the fridge I guess, well look out for an elbow injury in the future from opening the badly sticky appliance door) Wait she can sue them next time. I should really learn how to be a weasel!!

She also added, with her 5 minutes of fame coming ever so slowly to an end, ‘I think the judge has been fair and finally after five years it’s finished and I can try to get on with my life.’ Yes you needed the closure which we all have heard so much about, yet should women be allowed to be behind the lines “sit falling” when the men doing the job (any women could do if given a chance in the newscasters world) are dying. Me thinks we are in big trouble. What do you think?

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