Harrasment by Husabnd and In laws

are you asking guidence or just telling what had happend to you.

i would definitely look for guidance here

its better if approch some elder and make them understand.

but if you approch police, they take your complaint and charge them, but matter will end with Divorce.

what do you want.

decide.

from sept 2009 till date you are staying with your parents. it is more than 1.5 years and you also approached village elders for solution to the problems. you seem to be working woman. and can live independently. it is clear that inspite of your efforts there is no improvement in your relation with your husband and inlaws. Even if you stay in the house nothing is going to improve with such attitude(inlaws & husband) you do not have any kids to keep you and your husband connected. there is no use of waiting further. please approach NGO & take legal action immediately. you will get back your belonging for sure. fearing that legal action will result in divorce is of no use. even otherwise with the present situation it is no better than divorce. you are lucky you do not have kids and it is better you look out for a life parter worth for you without wasting time.

Feminists always advice you to file case or take legal action.

hope you are wise enough to handle your situation. if you want to walk out of marriage then you can file for divorce without filing false cases like 498A or DV.

As you wrote.

you with your own wish left husband and stayed with your mother.

you do not have proof that they took your money, or husband demanded, may be you gave yourself but now they say they took.

and you were working so as per supreme court judgments, working women will not get maintenance.

u wrote:

“We tried to sort all the things directly by going there and understanding the real issue but all in vain as my mother in law said all my policies should be in my husband’s name and my father should write on a blank paper if any thing goes wrong with the girl they are only responsible the same but not in laws family.”

whom you will nominate for ur policies is your personal decision and you can always consult your husband as he is your life partner. but your MIL cannot put pressure/demand and ask you or your father to sign on blank paper. this type of behaviour shows that they are not accepting you as their own family member and there is a strained relationship and shows cruelity (mental torture) towards you.

if you have left your matrimonial house unable to bear their harrassment or indifference attitude of your husband then your stand is justified.

your parents, relatives and neighbours are your witness. send them a letter through your lawyer to return your belonging. see if they will return. also approach NGO attached to police station to see if the matters can be resolved without filing cases. do not file DV 498a unless you are sure you have all the evidence to fight. Do not ask for divorce at the moment. if you are eligible for maintenance as per law you fight for it.

I didn’t leave home but just came for my sister’s marriage and that too my father came there and respectfully took me from there with everyone’s permission but when they didn’t come for marriage definitely we would like to know how long we should continue like this. we have taken all elederly help but of no use but no one is able to convince them for naything. I am surprise being a educated working woman i have to go through situations like this or bear like this then ………….

Dear chajyo,

Did you also made efforts to adjust yourself with the new environment. was your husband good to you after marriage and anytime. has he taken care of you and understood your requirements. what is your answer if you are asked the same questions? are you willing to live without him??

your father must repectfully leave you back after the marriage was over. your home after marriage is your matrimonial home and not parents home. your family is your husbands family now. just because they had not come to marriage does not show they are cruel to you. you & your parents are creating unnessary issues. you should have gone back. conflicts are there in everyhousehold. there are womens who face more severe problems than you. being educated means you are aware about your rights and have maturity to face the situation and solve yourself.

Yes matrimonial home is girls’ home even if husband says girl need the family but not family need girl so any or every type of adjustments shoudl be done from girl’s side only. Like mother in law said girl’s parents do have any respect so my father shoudl leave me there agiain. please tell me one thing after marriage girl should forget about basic things like sleep, food, clothes, or a pocket money and get a treatment like servant and then if girls’ parents say somethign for the betterment of the girl they are are creating problmes ?

after marriage girl should forget about basic things like sleep, food, clothes, or a pocket money and get a treatment like servant – were u deprived of all these things? always??were u treated like a servant?

your parents or his parents they should talk about betterment of both (you and your husband) as you are also family now.

Environment for a girl will not be same like your parents house after marriage. you may be darling of your parents but now you are adult and responsible person. you cannot expect the same luxury in your matrimonial home.you can still adjust if your husband really loves you and cares for you. if he is not supportive and does not help in adjusting just talk to him. find out the reason?? is it only for money( as you are working woman) for which he married you??

thanks for the answer. let me fight for my life and rights.

Thanks

one thing you understand. marriage will not work if there is no love/trust/respect between the spouse. it is only initial stage of marriage so will not cause you much pain to get out this relation. if you still want to give one more chance just because you still love your husband. you talk to your husband once and request him to meet family councellor along with you. and then decide on the action.

don’t get depressed….

you are educated and independent

we all support you if they really harassed you.

its waste to time and money fighting with legal issues unless they will not agree amicably.

do not try to misuse law, which may trap you in more problems. if you approch lawyer/police they will advice you file domestic violence on them.

Rekha gave you right guidance. from a women point of view.

Hope you are wise enough to make decision.

best of luck.

i intentionally wanted to settled down with the family so spent 11 months bearing all the torture they gave but if initative will come from one side nothing will work out, and i feel depressed to see him blaming me for different reasons and supportign his mother. and if my family had bad intention to him he could have easily been trapped under legal terms. my undersating says til date this marriage was only to take the money and they had lot of expectations from me and my family in terms of money, my mother in law said every family says no to dowry and we also said like that only. i had given them money for 11 months then they will ask for Bank Statement ontop of it i’ll asked for salary slip to match the record and then Q&A round why deductions in the slip and what is need of the same. after doing all this another Q&A round for my expenditure.

it’s easier siad then done when u actually go through all this.

i have a strong feeling today it was planned initiative from their side just to take money as they never accepted named cheque but i was forced to give a self cheque.

is your husband working and contributing towards family income? is his salary not sufficiant to meet family expenditure? is your sister in law working is the same treatment to her also?

it is clear that they have not made any dowry demand.

immediately contact mediation centre(CAW) attached to police station. they will send him notice. and also contact NGO who works for womans welfare to provide you legal help.

his income is not sufficient today only we got to know when we added elderly people and they had a check/inquiry on his income, we got to know he is in losses and under burden. before marriage he used to show off different cars whenever coming to see me will come in a new car, my sister in law always treated me in a bad manner, her innocent kids even told me that all the family members were talkign bad things about me.

they didn’t ask anythign before marriage but after marriage said what your father have given to us and you are workign for long time where is that money gone.

DV act will help u and your husband/MIL will have to spend that money for defending themselves.

can u suggest mediation centre(CAW) or NGO in Delhi/NCR

Human Rights Law Network, NCW… there are many.. search the net you will find

but be honest and do not misuse law and file false case.

and what is DV act and MIL,

i believe life is an echo and whatever you do it comes back to you. Pls trust me.

dv- domestic voilence MIL-mother in law