Harrasment by Husabnd and In laws

Welcome Forums Advice 498A Harrasment by Husabnd and In laws

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    • #459
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Dear Reader,

      I Got married on 30 Oct 2008 and stayed with my husband and family till 29the Sep 2009, and after that staying with my parents till date. From day one my mother in law and sister in law have given me mental torture for my salary and have taken all the money in cash or self cheque. My husband never asked the money directly but indirectly have always pushed me to give her the money. Initially I thought I should do the adjustments and with time probably things will settle down but didn’t happen. Oct 2009 it was my real sister’s marriage but no one from the family turned up for marriage and while coming to my parents place they didn’t give me any Jewellary or money for the occasion but I had Rs.198 in the Bank account. We tried to sort all the things directly by going there and understanding the real issue but all in vain as my mother in law said all my policies should be in my husband’s name and my father should write on a blank paper if any thing goes wrong with the girl they are only responsible the same but not in laws family. Till date we haven’t taken any legal action against the family but through Bahawalpur Society tried convincing my husband if I with husband can live in a separate house but they didn’t agree for the same. Bahawalpur Society have had the discussion with two of the parties separately and together as well but my in laws didn’t agree for any thing. All my clothes, gifts and gold given to them by my family is till date with them only.

      Thanks and Regards

    • #2568
      Anonymous
      Guest

      are you asking guidence or just telling what had happend to you.

    • #2569
      Anonymous
      Guest

      i would definitely look for guidance here

    • #2570
      Anonymous
      Guest

      its better if approch some elder and make them understand.

      but if you approch police, they take your complaint and charge them, but matter will end with Divorce.

      what do you want.

      decide.

    • #2571
      Anonymous
      Guest

      from sept 2009 till date you are staying with your parents. it is more than 1.5 years and you also approached village elders for solution to the problems. you seem to be working woman. and can live independently. it is clear that inspite of your efforts there is no improvement in your relation with your husband and inlaws. Even if you stay in the house nothing is going to improve with such attitude(inlaws & husband) you do not have any kids to keep you and your husband connected. there is no use of waiting further. please approach NGO & take legal action immediately. you will get back your belonging for sure. fearing that legal action will result in divorce is of no use. even otherwise with the present situation it is no better than divorce. you are lucky you do not have kids and it is better you look out for a life parter worth for you without wasting time.

    • #2572
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Feminists always advice you to file case or take legal action.

      hope you are wise enough to handle your situation. if you want to walk out of marriage then you can file for divorce without filing false cases like 498A or DV.

      As you wrote.

      you with your own wish left husband and stayed with your mother.

      you do not have proof that they took your money, or husband demanded, may be you gave yourself but now they say they took.

      and you were working so as per supreme court judgments, working women will not get maintenance.

    • #2573
      Anonymous
      Guest

      u wrote:

      “We tried to sort all the things directly by going there and understanding the real issue but all in vain as my mother in law said all my policies should be in my husband’s name and my father should write on a blank paper if any thing goes wrong with the girl they are only responsible the same but not in laws family.”

      whom you will nominate for ur policies is your personal decision and you can always consult your husband as he is your life partner. but your MIL cannot put pressure/demand and ask you or your father to sign on blank paper. this type of behaviour shows that they are not accepting you as their own family member and there is a strained relationship and shows cruelity (mental torture) towards you.

      if you have left your matrimonial house unable to bear their harrassment or indifference attitude of your husband then your stand is justified.

      your parents, relatives and neighbours are your witness. send them a letter through your lawyer to return your belonging. see if they will return. also approach NGO attached to police station to see if the matters can be resolved without filing cases. do not file DV 498a unless you are sure you have all the evidence to fight. Do not ask for divorce at the moment. if you are eligible for maintenance as per law you fight for it.

    • #2574
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I didn’t leave home but just came for my sister’s marriage and that too my father came there and respectfully took me from there with everyone’s permission but when they didn’t come for marriage definitely we would like to know how long we should continue like this. we have taken all elederly help but of no use but no one is able to convince them for naything. I am surprise being a educated working woman i have to go through situations like this or bear like this then ………….

    • #2575
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Dear chajyo,

      Did you also made efforts to adjust yourself with the new environment. was your husband good to you after marriage and anytime. has he taken care of you and understood your requirements. what is your answer if you are asked the same questions? are you willing to live without him??

    • #2576
      Anonymous
      Guest

      your father must repectfully leave you back after the marriage was over. your home after marriage is your matrimonial home and not parents home. your family is your husbands family now. just because they had not come to marriage does not show they are cruel to you. you & your parents are creating unnessary issues. you should have gone back. conflicts are there in everyhousehold. there are womens who face more severe problems than you. being educated means you are aware about your rights and have maturity to face the situation and solve yourself.

    • #2577
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Yes matrimonial home is girls’ home even if husband says girl need the family but not family need girl so any or every type of adjustments shoudl be done from girl’s side only. Like mother in law said girl’s parents do have any respect so my father shoudl leave me there agiain. please tell me one thing after marriage girl should forget about basic things like sleep, food, clothes, or a pocket money and get a treatment like servant and then if girls’ parents say somethign for the betterment of the girl they are are creating problmes ?

    • #2578
      Anonymous
      Guest

      after marriage girl should forget about basic things like sleep, food, clothes, or a pocket money and get a treatment like servant – were u deprived of all these things? always??were u treated like a servant?

      your parents or his parents they should talk about betterment of both (you and your husband) as you are also family now.

      Environment for a girl will not be same like your parents house after marriage. you may be darling of your parents but now you are adult and responsible person. you cannot expect the same luxury in your matrimonial home.you can still adjust if your husband really loves you and cares for you. if he is not supportive and does not help in adjusting just talk to him. find out the reason?? is it only for money( as you are working woman) for which he married you??

    • #2579
      Anonymous
      Guest

      thanks for the answer. let me fight for my life and rights.

      Thanks

    • #2580
      Anonymous
      Guest

      one thing you understand. marriage will not work if there is no love/trust/respect between the spouse. it is only initial stage of marriage so will not cause you much pain to get out this relation. if you still want to give one more chance just because you still love your husband. you talk to your husband once and request him to meet family councellor along with you. and then decide on the action.

    • #2581
      Anonymous
      Guest

      don’t get depressed….

      you are educated and independent

    • #2582
      Anonymous
      Guest

      we all support you if they really harassed you.

      its waste to time and money fighting with legal issues unless they will not agree amicably.

      do not try to misuse law, which may trap you in more problems. if you approch lawyer/police they will advice you file domestic violence on them.

      Rekha gave you right guidance. from a women point of view.

      Hope you are wise enough to make decision.

      best of luck.

    • #2583
      Anonymous
      Guest

      i intentionally wanted to settled down with the family so spent 11 months bearing all the torture they gave but if initative will come from one side nothing will work out, and i feel depressed to see him blaming me for different reasons and supportign his mother. and if my family had bad intention to him he could have easily been trapped under legal terms. my undersating says til date this marriage was only to take the money and they had lot of expectations from me and my family in terms of money, my mother in law said every family says no to dowry and we also said like that only. i had given them money for 11 months then they will ask for Bank Statement ontop of it i’ll asked for salary slip to match the record and then Q&A round why deductions in the slip and what is need of the same. after doing all this another Q&A round for my expenditure.

      it’s easier siad then done when u actually go through all this.

      i have a strong feeling today it was planned initiative from their side just to take money as they never accepted named cheque but i was forced to give a self cheque.

    • #2584
      Anonymous
      Guest

      is your husband working and contributing towards family income? is his salary not sufficiant to meet family expenditure? is your sister in law working is the same treatment to her also?

    • #2585
      Anonymous
      Guest

      it is clear that they have not made any dowry demand.

    • #2586
      Anonymous
      Guest

      immediately contact mediation centre(CAW) attached to police station. they will send him notice. and also contact NGO who works for womans welfare to provide you legal help.

    • #2587
      Anonymous
      Guest

      his income is not sufficient today only we got to know when we added elderly people and they had a check/inquiry on his income, we got to know he is in losses and under burden. before marriage he used to show off different cars whenever coming to see me will come in a new car, my sister in law always treated me in a bad manner, her innocent kids even told me that all the family members were talkign bad things about me.

      they didn’t ask anythign before marriage but after marriage said what your father have given to us and you are workign for long time where is that money gone.

    • #2588
      Anonymous
      Guest

      DV act will help u and your husband/MIL will have to spend that money for defending themselves.

    • #2589
      Anonymous
      Guest

      can u suggest mediation centre(CAW) or NGO in Delhi/NCR

    • #2590
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Human Rights Law Network, NCW… there are many.. search the net you will find

    • #2591
      Anonymous
      Guest

      but be honest and do not misuse law and file false case.

    • #2592
      Anonymous
      Guest

      and what is DV act and MIL,

      i believe life is an echo and whatever you do it comes back to you. Pls trust me.

    • #2593
      Anonymous
      Guest

      dv- domestic voilence MIL-mother in law

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