Welcome Forums Advice 498A MISUSE OF DOWRY THREAT

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    • #674

      from last 8 mnths myself and my wife is staying separetly (not legally) due to some dispute, i asked her to come back but she says that she won’t be back because her main reason is that she want a nuclear family not a joint family, my parents are sr. citizen having a age near of 80yrs, i am their only son i can’t leave them alone, above all they are having medical problems, there is no one to help them except me. in the home town of my wife she said to her neighbours that i asked her for dowry & when i went to her home town i go to visit my child (studying there in a nearby school), my wife and parents told the teacher that you shouldn’t permit me to meet the child, now i think that she is going to case a file against me and my parents for dowry. Now near about 8yrs had gone ( i married in 2005), upto till date as a dowry her parents had not purchased a cup of tea for me from the hotel, she or her parents had not given a sum of 10Rs (asking that keep it with you as a gift). Pls. advice me after 8 mnths of separation can she will gave a false dowry case against me & will police arrest us.

    • #3590

      Because of todays Women mentality its difficult to manage both ends and keepup with Parents and Wife. you have to devote to one side. As you are married your duty towards your family is more than your Parents.

      She can file Dowry case even you have not taken or demanded any dowry, even Domestic violence case. if she is talking terms, take hidden voice recorder, and talk to her about no dowry demand or no domestic violence etc. it will help you somewhat to justify in front of court or Police if she file case.

      Also you can write to Police / SP about she left you her own and now threatening you with False dv/dowry case etc.

      if she dont allow you to meet your child, file a petition in court for visitation rights.

    • #3591

      If there is each ^ every apprehension in your mind to arrest you , you apply for anticipatory bail.

      http://www.jaihindlegal.com 9821387099, 9224799546

    • #3592

      Sir according to your advice…. I was preparing myself for the next move, but on 15th may she called me in my mobile, at that time I asked her to come back and many more talks had gone the main reason for calling was she told that at the time of marriage her father gave me 4 lakhs of rupees as streedhan. (which I had never taken, it is deposited in the post office as MIS account in her home town, with her home address, and near about 2650/- Rs monthly interest is getting which i had opened a joint account in my name and my wife’s name in the same post office and directed the post office people to deposit the interest in the same account & upto till date I don’t have the pass book also with me & all these records are kept and maintained by my wife and her mother. What I want to say is that I had a solid proof that upto till date I had not received or taken any amount from their family as streedan or as a gift, I am having a solid govt. document proof. Regarding the money by the post office dealings). That MIS will mature in 2015 december, she called me asking that I should sign the pre mature voucher to get the money out from post office and so on …. And many more Bla Bla …. I asked her to come back but she told me that I asked for dowry, and I had harassed her so she will never come back. Then I asked her OK if you are not coming back then I will come over there and including money I’ll finalize all the things, regarding child, about you & your above said dowry MIS money . I went with my parents and an outsider (from my home town) because what she & her family says once they will totally lie the next time. Then we went over there and I asked the panchayat people (i.e. the pupil’s of samaaj) to come forward and pls. solve this matter (outside her house but her father refuse to come out from his house so in her house), with my parents and near about 12 people were gathered over there and we discussed about the matter, before that she told that I harrassed her, I asked for dowry …. to her neighbours and as well as in my home town where she was working. Now when the people gathered she herself says in front of the people I had never asked for dowry. After a long discussion the panchayat people asked me now what is your next step, I asked her to come back, in front of the people (panchayat members), but she refused to do so, then her father asked for divorce, the peoples gathered over there told that now we don’t have to say anything, So give a joint petition and then let the procedure begins, we agreed then next day I visited a lawyer and asked for help, he advice to give a joint petition for that I want marriage certificate and a copy of identity card. I told the same thing to my wife’s house through a relative, after two days we again go back over there & asked about the marriage certificate & I-card, then my FIL says that we don’t have the marriage certificate, (we lost it) so I say that OK no problem , you inform this to your panchayat president saying our name and date of marriage, they will give it in writing, this will work now and after that I’ll bring the marriage certificate from my home when the final decision will come then her relative said that we should have one more sitting, & offered a tea after that her father says that you have to pay 25 lakh rupees & maintenance in two months (infront of the other people) or after that we are going to file a case against you and your family. In front of the panchayat members she and her family’s demand is that I should sell my house (in which we are living) & should purchase a new house in her home town, then she will come back and live with me.

      First she told that I asked for dowry & harassed her, Now she tells that only harassment (i.e. DV) no dowry asked (infront of others)

      Secondly when I asked her to come back she refused & decided for divorce (joint petition)

      Thirdly her relatives asked for one more sitting, & I should sell my house and purchase a new one in her home town in which my family members should not be allowed.

      Now my MIL says that I told lie at the time of marriage (which I proved infront of the samaaj that she and her family members are totally lying)

      Finally my FIL asks for 25 lakh rupees to settle the matter outside the court or me and my family will be in trouble.So i said that I don’t have 25 lakh of rupees, so let your daughter be with you only. (according to their wish). They are not allowing to see my child also.

      (I don’t know about laws) some people advice me you sit quietly, let her parents go to the court because they says that now 8 yrs had gone after marriage and after 11 months of separation if they will go for a complaint then there will not be so much gravity in their case. (may be police will not entertain)

      May be I am wrong but I came to know that now a days a new law has came (say in Oct or Nov 2012) that if a wife want to go for a case regarding dowry and related to that, then she first go in front of the magistrate and should complaint in front of the magistrate, then according to the complaint the magistrate give order to SP to investigate the matter regarding the facts, then SP or SP will appoint a person (Police) who will investigate according to the complaint & within 15 days this investigating report should be submitted in front of the the magistrate, after submission of investigating report only the magistrate will order to arrest (or go through the procedure), then we should apply for bail, & when the case come in front of the court (for hearing) then the complainant should prove all the allegations which she had made to x-party. If not then the complainant will be in trouble.

      In the month of july 2013 I saw a news in TV in which supreme court says that wife should have the right of husbands parents property, but how much percent it is not decided by the court (according to TV news). If so, then I’m not interested to give divorce…….. then …… or to have divorce there should be valid reason which the complainant should prove in the court. Is it right or wrong pls advice what should be my next step.

    • #3593

      As money is in her name also, dont go there or give your signature also.

      just ignore saying you do not know anything about money, as it is not in your name. so there is not question of dowry comes in that.

      if they says they gave you money then ask for the proof and chq detail something….

      when you call next time record whatever you are talking. ask specifically to come back and let her deny that, thats the proof that she herself is not ready to come back.

      there should be valid reason to claim property, if not every women will file for divorce, next day of marriage. do not worry about women rights on ancestor property

    • #3594

      Sir, In december 2013 I had gone to Kerala (Sabrimala every year i’m going over there), at that time i went to school, where my daughter is studying along with my father & mother. I asked the principal for my child visit. She asked me that why you come over here for child visit, (in school) why don’t you visit the child in home. Then i say that i am not a resident of kerala, I came here to visit the holy place (Sabrimala) & tomorrow i am leaving to my home town, so i came over here to visit the child (i don’t want to let her know the problems of my home), but again she freequently asks question. like how, why etc ….. So I told the truth that from sept. 2012 (I and my wife are living separetely and all the things about dowry, harassment, call back, her father ask for 25 lakhs, about panchayant people, about the talk in home etc ….). She told that I assume that there should be some problem that is why you came with your parents to visit the child in school, because there are lots of people over here those have some disputes in their married life and come over here for the visit of their child, but the child is admitted through your wife side, I’ve to take permission from your wife then only i will allow you to visit the child. I told that OK but I am her father I have the right to visit, She told that I agree with you but I have some limitations according to the school rule, so let me ask her first, if she deny then I’ll make you see your child in my own risk. Then she called my wife and asked her permission. She told that offcourse he is her father he can see, talk to child because we don’t have any problem, not having any dispute, so you allow him to see his daughter. (I totally not understand what she actually wants). When my child came to me she was very happy & don’t want to go back to the class, she is continuously insisting me that I will stay with her forever, with that emotions of my child my tears come out, because I thought that after a long time may be my daughter had forgotten me, anyhow I managed that, i had given a lot of choclate packs, dresses, cakes, pastry’s etc but the principal told that this is not allowed. Then after a long request she told that okay you keep this things in my office, i will inform her mother to come over here and collect this. I told that if she denies to do so then distribute these things to any needy people. She says that okay I’ll inform you later and taken my mobile number but she doesn’t call back. I asked my daughter to go back to class (She refused to do so & started crying, she was very happy to see me & my parents after a long time). I asked her to make me a call, but she says that I told to mother but she refuses to do so, she didn’t allow me to make calls (my daughter is having my number in her tips of tongue) Any how i managed everything & I came back. After that in feb 6th 2014, it was my child’s birthday, I sent a birthday card in her school address by post. I think on 7th she got it & because on the same day my wife called me in my land line number and started barking (my mother received it, she told that are you not ashamed of yourself to sent a birthday card to the child in school address, If you do it again i will go to the police and complaint and with out hearing anything she put the phone down.) when ever she makes a call she threatens for a police complaint, now one and half years had gone after separation. God knows the next, but if she makes a complaint then i will fight back with all my strength, even if I’ve to sell my everything for the case. I came back in January 2014 from kerala and from till date i am suffering from jaundice & backache, that is the reason of delay for posting these things. I think that on december 2015 or after that only she or her parents will file a case against me because in 2015 december only the MIS (dowry money) will mature.

    • #3595

      Good keep in touch with your daughter;

      also file for visitation;

      send greetings to her with a self addressed REPLY letter so she can reply.

      ask her to find someone who can give her mobile, so you can talk to her without knowing her mother/out laws.

      fight the case, hope you will get her custody.

      Daughters love and understand Father more than mother.

      best of luck

    • #3596

      Dear Sir, Thanks for your reply

      You said that file for visitation, or in the above mentioned advice you asked me to inform all this to the police, I discussed with a lawyer (he is my friend) about these things & told everything happened. He say that you can inform the police, you can file for RCR, child custody & even you can file for divorce, but my personal suggestion is that if you take a move then the other party will file a fir against you & your family regarding dowry harassment, Domestic violence etc….. (These all things are normal in practice while dealing with such type of cases) & even if you do so then according to law anyhow you will be the sufferer, you will be cornered by the law, they give weightage to wife side only. If you don’t do then also result will be the same in future. I asked my parents to come forward and we will inform the police, but they are scared to do so. My question is that if I sit idle from my side & in future if my wife had given a complaint against me regarding dowry, domestic violence …. etc, then who has to prove all this. My wife has to prove that I am guilty that I had done all these things to her or I have to prove that I am innocent. Thanks in advance waiting for your advice and reply.

    • #3597

      it is not like they listen to women always. for Police whoever comes 1st they think they are right.

      reporting is our duty,

      if she file case after you file divorce, then you can say always that in revenge she filled 498a or dv and those old days are gone, now there is scrutiny and punishment if police file false criminal case on you, without evidence.

      recently i told 2 of my friends, report all threats to police and followup with RTI, now both girl sides are talking about compromise, even police is not ready to listen/entertain girls much.

      anyway, its upto you,

    • #3598

      presently i’m in vellore (for treatment of backache, nurology department), This year also i go to sabrimala (like every year, december 2014), i go to visit my daughter in her school, i got visitation by the principal (after taking permission with her mother on phone, my child was very happy with my presence and asked me to come again and again specially on her birthday i.e. on 6th february). Before going to Sabrimala my wife called her friend residing near to my house and told that she is willing to come back to me (i.e. her matrimonial home), her friend said the conversation to my relative and my relative came to me for the same, I didn’t give any answer. (because i don’t want to take her back). After 20 days her neighbour called to my home and asked that there should be a immediate decission on this matter or they are going to high court, I said that i welcome them to do so because i don’t have 25 lakhs of rupees to give to her & her father, above all infront of Samaaj i asked her to come back but she refused to do so. Now three months had passed off after the threatening call, but till date no action has been taken from their side. (May be i’m wrong but i think that they will file a case on me or my parents only after december 2015, so that they can take their MIS dowry money {as stated above, the maturity date is on december 2015} from the post office.

    • #3599

      if her friend comes again to ask, what is your decision; then tell her; if she give in writting that

      she threatened to file case’

      demanded 25L to settle

      or whatever they did etc etc you are happy to take her back…..

      for sure they will not give; even they give letter you will not take her back.

      hope you understood what i am saying.

      best of luck

    • #3600

      Dear Sir,

      yesterday i came from Sabrimala as usual (once in a year) when i reached kerala my wife & her family members came to know that i am in kerala, they said to my relatives that my child is always looking into my photo and crying to see me, by hearing that i asked my relatives to take a step for compromise in seek of my child, when they went to their house they closed the door in their mouth asking to get out, we don’t want any compormise.

      In 2013 her father asked for 25L. Now in 2015 her father asked for 20L in a different way.

      He says that deposit 20L in name of my child and make her mother (i.e. my wife) as the nominee since the child is under age so that this money should be used at the time of her marriage…… I said at the time of marriage i’ll give the money to her husband, no need to make nominee and deposit in her name. At the time of marriage i know what to do. Above all i’m doing the same in my name in my account.

      He says that if I’ll come and stay here in kerala then my wife is ready to live with you,……. I told that OK but i don’t have any house or property here & above all i don’t know malayalam (read & write), then how i will be able to settle here, i will not get any job also because of language problem then also i said i will live here and i become a auto driver in seek of my child. After admitting the same He changes his tone. Now he says you & your family members should sell your property from chattisgarh (my home town) and purchase new property here and settle here then only i will send her to live with you……. I told that i had married your daughter not my family members, if there is any compormise then it should be with me not with my family members. Lastly he said that this is our demand if you and your family members are admitting it then OK else we are happy to go to a case against you and your family, he said bad words to me and my family members and gone.

      I directly talked to my wife in my relatives house (i told to come over there in phone she came with her mother) in 2012 when she left her matrimonial home her complaint was dowry, dv, harrasment etc. In 2013 when i go to her house with panchayat members her complaint was only dv, other complaints were vanished in front of the people. In 2015 again she told about dv, i asked infront of her mother and my relatives what was the dv i or my families had done with you, she remains silent. (no answer) After a short break she told that you beaten me. I told OK tell infront of the people for what purpose I had beaten you. I beaten you not for brining dowry, I beaten you because i am a drunkard, or what is the reason …….(remains silent no answer). She told that what her father and mother says she will do only that … Pls suggest.

      I want to know that if case is on then i have to pay to my wife as maintenance or alimony (she is working). What will be my childs position.

    • #3601

      Unless she is 5 year old no court will take custody petition other than visitation; same time they will order her maintenance too, force you to pay to mother as child expenses;

      In India Father fighting for Child custody is waste of money, that also for girl Child; unless your ex wife is married second time, your case may be considered for visitation.

      Court may order huge sum or deposit and nominee as mother. for me Court ordered 10 Lakhs for one visit.

      if you call her again tell her, she is not harassing you, but she is torturing innocent child keeping away from you.

      when child is grownup she will know and show the mother what she has done.

      thats it. AND ignore their farther tactices or calls.

      Best thing you can do is

      keep deposit in child name with you as nominee.

      and PRAY.

      if child is your blood, someday she will come to you. and live with that hope.


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