- This topic has 8 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 11 years, 10 months ago by Anonymous.
01/09/2009 at 11:43 AM #101AnonymousGuest
hello sir, ( I am from hyderabad)
i got married on feb 15 2009,at hyd it was just 6months ago, i have not taken a single rupee as dowry from my wife and in return i have given 3 lakhs rupees gold and i placed 17 lakhs on her name in purchase of a house , my prob started exactly after 4th day of my marriage, she is much short tempred, unnessarly she creates every small issue into a big one,and she wants to place a settelment in front of their parents, thier parents supports her a lot my father in law is BA LLB, he is training her in a way not to return my money back and place a 498 case against me and my mother, i lost my father when i am 8 yrs old , after that my mother taken care fr me.. they want my mother not to stay with me.. she is an dependent on me how can i leave her..i purchaced house on my wife name exact in my in- laws flats , i asked her that i am in need of money to start bussiness, she said she dont want to return my money back and she dont want to leave that appartment where their parents stay and she is saying that if i want my money of rs 17 lakhs she just want to quit the relation.she wont leave that place, she is just saying if u want to stay just stay r leave out..its true that i never abused at her and i never man handeled her , but she did those thing many time in front of their parents what should i do? i was in an confused state..pls provide me solution..she was in a plan that nt to return my money back and place a case on me and my mom..i previously worked in s/w firm but in recission i lost my job, right now i am working in a small job for rs 5,000. she is working as Market researcher and she earns 30,000 to 45,000 per month, but i never asked about her salary or her earnings and expenditure. but her mother (my in-law) always says that ur 5,000 rs salary holder and my daughter is 30,000 rs holder . but they are not thinking in a way that he placed Rs of 20 lakhs for gold during marriage and 17 lakhs for appartment. she directly encorages her daughter to fight with me and my mother and black mailing us that we know the political people and media that we can do any thing fr ur lifes. On July 4th because of their tourturing words i got menatlly depressed and fractured my right hand. even to day i am suffering a lot with that hand. Even though they are commeting that u can fracture ur hand again. on aug 14th i went to office at that time mother only one stayed at home my wife and her mother came to my home and they abussed her that warned her that if she is nt willing to left the home they will place 498 case on her.. after that they placed a settelement with their relatives i am the only one person there they were 7 they shouted on me i recorded every thing of 2hrs recording in that settelment they aggreed that they have taken money for purcase of flat and they agreed that i have nt taken any dowry.. and they pushed my mother she got hurted and she left my home and staying with my grandparents.. what should i do i am just looking fr her safty she of50yrs age.. how can i leave her like that..after that i am staying with my wife. and i was so depressed i am feeling very lonely . she is always staying with her parents they flat is 503 and ours is 510 in same floor. i asked her that pls give my money of rs 17lakhs and requested her to stay with me where i stay, but she refuged and saying that i wont return ur money i dont want to come with u..she is saying in a way that for the berak-up of realtion what should i do plssssss can any one help me for this..what should i do plss i beg u sir….i am not asking their money of single rupee…but..i am helpless pls help me….
01/09/2009 at 12:07 PM #849AnonymousGuest
Sorry to sya, but i haven’t seen such stupid person like you, you have never thought of your self and wasted all your money on such female?? no one can get that 17 back from her, as you have purchased the flat in her name only.. and no one can stop future 498a . Just one thing you can do is start collecting evidences and be prepared for all legal and illegal battle. and stop being emotional.
01/09/2009 at 2:39 PM #850AnonymousGuest
I really don’t know should I call you stupid or blind love for your wife. Trust me, you and your mom have to stick together in these hard times. And please don’t abandon her and she needs you more than your vengeance wife wants you. I am sure you have not invested 17L on the day one of your marriage. The only issue is that you have not followed your instincts. At least now, STOP thinking from your heart and use your brain. This is a phased approach. If you follow, I am sure the situation would come under control.
1. STOP having sex so that you wont bring an another life into this mess. Trust me, many people think having children will settle down many family disputes. BUT that’s a blunder. If you are active in sex then please please and please wear a helmet
2. Talk to your mom and explain that you are there and you will be there for her no matter what it takes. And this is a small glitch that you are dealing with and once under control, she (mom) will be brought back to live with you.
3. Join SFI and get your self educated about anticipatory bail and file one for yourself and your mom. This is VERY IMPORTANT. You will not know the importance of this unless you are hit with 498a.
4. Simultaneously do what it takes you to secure a better job so that you can bring back your mom some day. When you have a better pay and mom on your side, things will look brighter.
5. Start collecting lots and lots of evidence for you to be on safer side. I am not saying to break away from your wife. Your wife may not be bad and that she might be under influence. Only time can decide that. Often newly wed, and that too being too close to her parents bring lots and lots of un-warned trouble. Hope you get what I am saying.
Please maintain absolute silence unless you have taken care all of above. Once you are equipped give an ultimatum to your wife to talk to you and resolve issues in the best interest of your marriage. Express that you really want her and that you love her (if you TRULY do so) from the bottom of your heart but not at the cost of insulting either you or your mom. And that’s the bottom line. Keep aside the entire male ego. It does not do any good. At the same time do not let someone ride on you for free.
Don’t let barking dogs get the best of you. Do you really care if your FIL is BA LLB., or if he is a goon? Don’t let this fear enter you. I am confident that when you silently plan you and your mom’s safety (legally and financially) everything will fall in its place.
Forget about 17L in the worst case assume its difficult to recover. in the best case, this might resolve all your marital problems. Always try to look at the brighter side.
02/09/2009 at 4:43 AM #851AnonymousGuest
I have gone through your case, I do not understand you why you hve expended 20 lack for jwell & 17 lakh for purchasing apartment. If it is so whether the said flat is purchased for both of you or for her relatives?
If you want to recover the said amount , you have to file suit for recovery of amount & for that court fees is must & it will be more than your disease(your relief). Eventhough if you want to recover arrange lawyer & file suit. You told that she is threatening for 498(a), if it is so apply for anticipatory bail. If you want to be free from your wife file divorce petition , you do after thought only. I think you are so emotional, emotions are not useful in practical life.
02/09/2009 at 5:35 AM #852AnonymousGuest
Hii, I really thank all the above,
I am being very calm and quite in my home with my wife, and from 1 weekk she is asking me that why iam being very calm not talking any thing, i asked her that in a very polite way that i belived her and i have placed my money , so right now i got an civil contracts works to do where can i go for that reason i am asking money. she kept quite she did’nt answer any thing. and i requested her that i am not felling comfortable or active in this environment i asked her that we will vacate this place and stay away from this place , she did’nt aggred for that and said that she wont leave that place. always she tries to pull my legs. i am not allowing to discuss any nonsence issues. and she is giving me an dead line until sep6th that if i was being dull and calm not being active with her she wants to take some decission, and she only saying that ur age is 26 and my age is 24 there is no much age so that we can breake up our relation in afriendly way.
(As i posted in my previous post, i recorded entire issue discussion in voice recorder for 2hrs, and in that discussion i have asked in front of their parents and realtives i asked her father that have i taken any dowry they said no, her father in his words said that i have invested rs17lakhs fr house. Is this evidence can make any prof in this case.)
I really thank u fr suggesting me..
I will be updating u.
pls provide me info for further moves thank u so much..
06/09/2009 at 3:28 PM #853AnonymousGuest
please let me know how to approach and join sfi
06/09/2009 at 6:06 PM #854AnonymousGuest
very simple… follow the links..
07/09/2009 at 4:27 AM #855AnonymousGuest
You have not completed 1 year for marriage so it is not possiblefor divorce, so you wait for completion of 1 yaer, till then if you have cordial relations with each other, you continue with her. If you dont continue you may file recovery suit for your money.
17/09/2009 at 2:55 AM #856AnonymousGuest
So let them register a case of Sec 498A. Can you stop it. Why are you hassling yourself and your family with further tension. When they register a case, appear for the reconcilation sessions and tell them the amount of money and flat that you have already given her. You can’t get that back so atleast try to turn it around and not have to pay anything more. Tell them that all this was given as full and final settlement which she has now backed away from. And get a decent lawyer to be ready to file an anticipatory bail application for you and your mother.
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