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Constent tension

Welcome Forums Advice 498A Constent tension

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    • #453
      Anonymous

      Dear Sir/Mam

      My sister in law who from the very first day creating problem for us is evrytime starts problems such as mental tourchure to my brother by going to his office or by creating unoccured situation.Initialy after marraiage we got to know she is taking sleeping tablets & after that she blamed us all that we are not treating aher well with the support from his family & then she deceided that she want to leave alone with brother.We agreed but still she is not happy with my brother even.Even copule of times she did Chori but with her mother support she escaped.My brother got married in 2005 and and she stayed with my family for hardly 3 months till day hardly.From 2006 she is not coming to our home,she used to saty with her family when my brother comes to his haouse.Both our family & her family stay in the same town.Now whenevr she want she threatens us for police &she did twice.Now we are planning for judicial separartion.Even they got a girl of 5 yrs.Please jelp me.Every time my parents of 67 &65 yrs face tension for that lady becoz my brother is not happy.Even evrytime we dont do anything becoz her family can file 498 act againg my aged parents.Becoz they did it(Her mother) once in the case of her elder sister.Eevn her mother got a relation with OC of our town.But whenever she did anything worst her family support her & this is the result that this is happeing to our family.

    • #2463
      Anonymous

      your sister-in-law is not adjusting in the joint family. judicial separation is what your brother wants or is it your family’s collective decison. will your brother be happy without companion and his daughter? is his daughter found of both the parents? what is the greviances both have?. what are the expections from each other.

      what did she steal?your sister in law does not want any relation with you and your parents but is she stopping your brother and daughter from coming to your parents house?

      there is normal wear and tear in every marriage. most of the time interfearance from parents and relatives (both side) aggreviates the situation. if there is so much of tension, why not the core issues are discussed and resolved. why not you arrange for the meeting between both the family resolve the greviances. or let them take help of marriage councellors then take the final stand. try to avoid 498a situation.

    • #2464
      Anonymous

      You make it clear that his meeting is not out of fear of 498a but an positive efforts from your family to save the marriage for the sake of the child and also with a intention to resolve the greviances let the other family elders be also present as a witness.

    • #2465
      Anonymous

      Prevention is better than cure

    • #2466
      Anonymous

      why will she come to your house when you have cought her doing “chori”. you mean she is a thief??? taking something from her matrimonial home cannot be said chori. she is also one of the member of your family and not outsider. she is married to your brother. if she is not coming to your house. you people make a courtesy visit to her house with a small gifts+or sweets. see the difference. try to have good relation with her and she will treat you and your family with same. if you think more of what you can do rather than what others can do . we can avoid most of the problems and live happily.

    • #2467
      Anonymous

      waah waah.

      3 claps for rekha ji. i was avoiding this forum but couldnt resist after seeing this womens post.

      rekha ji, why dont we go a step further and suggest few more points

      1. since ur brother wont be happy without his daughter, FORCE him to be happy without parents. after all the parents are old and will die soon.

      2. if she is not happy with courtesy visits+sweets, go there and kneel down and fold ur hands. ask ur parents to also to do the same.

      3. do not say a word if she takes things from her house (though she only visits “this house” like a guest or a boss) and helps her siblings and parents with this.

      4, last but not the least, a man has all the duties and a women has all the rights.

      did i miss anything rekhaji???

    • #2468
      Anonymous

      1. since ur brother wont be happy without his daughter, FORCE him to be happy without parents. after all the parents are old and will die soon.

      what about daughters happiness? look out for a solution where everyone is peaceful. one solution can be staying nearby to parents. you can still remain connected with parents even though you are physically away. Parents always want wellbeing of the children. your brother is also a parent. No one can predict death? we are all going to die one day.

      2. if she is not happy with courtesy visits+sweets, go there and kneel down and fold ur hands. ask ur parents to also to do the same.

      you are not going for begging. giving a courtesy visit/sweets can mean showing respect/concern towards daughter in-law. that will diffinately give assurance to her parents and also improve relation.

      3. do not say a word if she takes things from her house (though she only visits “this house” like a guest or a boss) and helps her siblings and parents with this.

      atleast not “chori”- if she had giving something to her parents or sibling living in a separate house can you dare to say Chori?. conflicts starts here..do you not give gifts or presents to your parents and siblings?do your parents & siblings give gifts to you? what is important is what was that she took (stole). is it a Jwellery of MIL/SIL? or some small houseold article?? whether it was when she was living with you or she was living in different house??

      4, last but not the least, a man has all the duties and a women has all the rights.

      men and women both have their respective duties and rights.? question is do they both follow religiously??

    • #2469
      Anonymous

      dearverma,

      what do you prefer? peace or war?

    • #2470
      Anonymous

      i prefer peace with dignity of myself and parents. cannot compromise one bit with my self respect. (there is a very clear bold line between self respect and ego and i know that)

      1. where do u draw a line. what if then she says dont see face of ur parent everyday, then dont visit every week, then dont take food there. where do u draw a line.

      i have no issues with girls who boldly say before marriage that i cannot live with in-laws. in fact i have tremendous respect for their boldness. what about girls who act very coy and readily agree before marriage (clearly knowing that saying no will break the marriage and after marriage we cannot do anything) and after marriage give flimsiest of excuses to stay away from in-laws. what do u say. this behaviour should be totally ignored. u mean totally?

      2. what if courtesy visits results in only them saying their grievances, even false ones in a threatening tone and not listening to ours. and why shouldnt the girls side pay such visits. what advice do you have for such girls and her parents.

      3. okok. u are working day in and day out, ur mom cooking, washing clothes and caring for u. wife comes for few days. abuses everyone, take things from ur house, does not tell you and give as gifts to parents and siblings. excellent. totally justified.

    • #2471
      Anonymous

      Rekha ji,

      The way you replied for all the questions is the very source of all arguments. All the girls who get married start demanding rights before fulfilling their duties. Ask such girls to fulfil their duties and the magic will automatically happen. the girls these days expect all the family members to change as per her desires but actually never tries to win their hearts. Of course, you are now going to say it otherwise that why should the boy’s family not do the same. I think rather than changing 10 people in a family why not to change oneself and avoid all the ego arguments. I think Rekha ji, the girlish qualities are not there in 498a girls and therefore try and force their wishes by threatening… please rekha ji, try to see other side of the picture as well, and come out of that bechari girl frame of mind.

    • #2472
      Anonymous

      there are also men who give assurances of all the support after marriage. but later overlook. before marriage no one can foretell each members attitude/nature/approach and actual difficulties in adjusting. many of the women do adjust in joint family with support from husband. clear communication between the spouses can solve problems. does that happen always? do you also discuss with her before giving gifts and present. do you treat her as your equal partner.

      I am not justifying anybodies negative actions. find out the cause and solution. think as a human being also from other person’s point of view also. may you will find the solution. Distressed woman can never be happy and make anyone happy.visa versa

    • #2473
      Anonymous

      if she harassing then, get some proofs and get in touch with our local members before she file any case on your family.

      lets see what we can do.

    • #2474
      Anonymous

      you never seem convincing, doll rekha, cut the crap.

    • #2475
      Anonymous

      rekhaji, one simple question, pl answer. Do u want to have a family life i.e. Do u want to marry?

      Please answer.

    • #2476
      Anonymous

      yea why not.

      but she still did`t found rich stud whom she can make dance to her tune and pay all her bills.

      still she will say here. “she dont want to marry again”

    • #2477
      Anonymous

      NO- i will not marry ever.

    • #2478
      Anonymous

      I am not legally divorced and even after separation I will not.

    • #2479
      Anonymous

      Rekha ji, I am very sorry to say that women like you are acting as catalyst to this chain reaction. Instead of spreading good thoughts, you are motivating women to file false 498a. To start a new relation, one has to won the heart of people around her and have to make a place in home. But girls now-adays have least patience and want to snatch the place with hook are crook. Rekha ji , i have read your other posts and feel very sorry to have you in our group. You are helping womens to mis-judge their duties.

    • #2480
      Anonymous

      Dr. Dsouza,

      that is my personal choice for giving unshared love to our child. I am trying to be both father and mother to the child in his absence.

    • #2481
      Anonymous

      Rekha you only told in other threat “to all members” not to take mothers share in childs life.

      but now here you say ” I am trying to be both father and mother”

      so dont preach others unless you practice same.

      why dont you give chnace to father of child handle his role….?

      i know feminists mentality.

      they want what is others along with their things too.

    • #2482
      Anonymous

      let the 498a situation not arise and couple live in harmony with love and respect for each other. resolve issues through meaningful discussion. and abide by what you commit instead of filing cases against each other. and let the child have both father and mother with him/her- is what I have been trying to say

      does that motivating woman to file 498a.

    • #2483
      Anonymous

      child has to have schooling at one place. child cannot change locations as and when he wants . when couple separated live in different location. a child lives with one parent who has the physical custody. and father can have visitation rights and can only visit once or twice in a month. as father wants to marry and move on his he does not want physical custody. I have dual responsibility to for work( for maintenance, manage house, take up studies etc.. now that father is not around I take him to play, hair cut … as his father used to do.

    • #2484
      Anonymous

      Rekha you only told in other threat “to all members” not to take mothers share in childs life.

      did i say to take away fathers share. I have always maintained the child should have both father and mother. if you could not fill the gap of father whatever be the reason. do not ever take away mother space.

      let the child have atleast one parent if not two with him for his emotional well being.

    • #2485
      Anonymous

      please rekha ji, you are just satisfying by giving a reasoning to urself. Giving reasons doesn’t solve the questions or situations. If you would have been that understanding the situation of your seperation would have never airsen. Even my wife says the same things as just now what u have said. When u can’t fathom reasons for something what is happening then u try and blame ur counterpart for everything. Even i am compelled to answer here coz of such illogical reasons. Please try and stop giving reasons or should i say stop justifying. Be constructive and solve problems rather than blaming others.

      My Final Question… Does filing 498A solves the problems… ??

      Does it bring anything good to ur child???

      No……….it just satisfies ur ego of hurting others and blaming others….

    • #2486
      Anonymous

      All women and Rekha very well know once 498A is filled, there is question of compromise and every such marriage will end in Divorce only.

      coz no man and his family is ready to take back “Legal terrorist”

      and indian woimen file 498a file in one intention to get easy and fast Divorce with the help of 498A.

      as per my knowledge out of our 10,000 members only 2 men are back with 498A women, that makes 101% 498A cases ended in Divorce.

      Rekha, i know you dont take fathers share in Child life, why dont you think other way let child will be with wealthy Father, coz for sure Father will not take your share from Fathers life and you will be there always for child.

      and im sure you will not agree for this 200%. Right Rekha.

    • #2487
      Anonymous

      why not think of legally taking share towards child welfare from the wealth of wealthy father and giving him love of father and mother through physical custody (mother) and visitation (father). instead of giving the child to father when child is not willing to part with mother.

    • #2488
      Anonymous

      who says child is not ready to leave mother.

      may be you trained child like that telling all BAd things about Father.

      i never seen single women demanding in court that force Father to visit child at least every week and spend some hours with Child.

      Every women want one thing, keep away father as much as possible, dragging custody case and later blame him not to visiting child. but i always seen women asking money to raise child.

      im sure Rekha, you also done same thing. Right ?

    • #2489
      Anonymous

      My Final Question… Does filing 498A solves the problems… ??

      I filed because injustice was done to me and what he was doing was very much wrong/unethical.

      problems are always there in everyones life. but the child was returned back to me.

      Does it bring anything good to ur child???

      -was he doing any good to the child and wife doing such things???

      No……….it just satisfies ur ego of hurting others and blaming others….

      here ..who has ego? who was hurting?when there is sufficiant proof there is no question of blaming.

      why blame ..face the situation bravely and fight for justice if you are not guilty.

    • #2490
      Anonymous

      I have my thinking and it is not necessary that everyone thinks alike. there can be exceptions too. I do not have to ask him to visit. nor I say don’t visit.

    • #2491
      Anonymous

      ur husband did injustice to u why did u file 498a against ur in-laws. they were supporting him. thats it? thats ur reason.

      u filed 498a against ur husband. u know the punishment for 498a. u wanted to see him in jail for 3 years. and then u r becoming all saint that i’ll not stop him from visiting child. what will u do. take the child to jail to meet father?

      u face injustice from husband, u filed 498a. what adivce do u have for men who face injustice from wife. i have seen many times in this forum us ay to such men dont file case even if they have proofs. so

      injustice to wife = file case

      injustice to husband = dont file case and listen to wife.

      go on rekha. i’m all ears listening to ur illogical arguments.

    • #2492
      Anonymous

      if u are having problems then you should have filed a case with respect to ethical conduct of ur husband. 498a is for asking dowry. he must have never asked for dowry but you all women have just one answer to every problem. 498a …

      2ndly.. if ur husband is not doing any good… then even you are not doing anything better for ur child , how can u blame ur husband alone…

      u filed 498a to get ur revenge and not to solve ur problems…

      498a is for girls who are asked for dowry and burnt alive… not for any tom dick and harry who is not able to cope with the duties as a wife…

      498a is not a tool madam, it is for people who have lost their daughters coz of dowry….

      In case ur husband is wrong then put the right charge on him.. without slapping 498a on his face…

      Can you ever tell the judge that ur husband never asked for dowry… you will never say so… coz u cannot speak the truth…. if somebody is not willing to live with you then how can you force him….. he is leaving you coz you are not good enough, and you are not leaving him coz u know that you are not going to get a better husband. In case you are right then he will repent one day and ask for ur forgiveness ….. instead you are imposing yourself on him… coz u know ..how good you are….

      Today my father in law says to my wife… do not incite ur husband for u to file 498a or else it will be easy for him to get divorce… coz he has already filed 498a case against me and i am still living with my wife…this is the effect of 498a on families… if ever you would have wanted to save your family life… you would have never filed 498a…..

    • #2493
      Anonymous

      Rekha;

      once you told me that, not to repeat what she has done to me, or tell past things about mother to child.

      now you only telling .

      “Does filing 498A solves the problems… ??”

      “Does it bring anything good to ur child???”

      ask yourself, you filled 498a does it bring anyhting good to your child ?

      Does filing 498A solves the problems ?

      you filled 498A as revenge for what he has done. so you do tit for tat but you preach others not to do same.

      what a double standerd.

      All women file 498A and DV not on actual reason.

      some women even file when they caught red handed with lover or asking to do their responsibility towards home.

      whatever wrong/unethical thing ur husband done can be settled but once matter goes to police/court its very difficult to patchup, so it is not ur husband ruined ur marriage or child life, i blame you 101%.

    • #2494
      Anonymous

      this question was asked by ykgiroh

      “please rekha ji, you are just satisfying by giving a reasoning to urself. Giving reasons doesn’t solve the questions or situations. If you would have been that understanding the situation of your seperation would have never airsen. Even my wife says the same things as just now what u have said. When u can’t fathom reasons for something what is happening then u try and blame ur counterpart for everything. Even i am compelled to answer here coz of such illogical reasons. Please try and stop giving reasons or should i say stop justifying. Be constructive and solve problems rather than blaming others.

      My Final Question… Does filing 498A solves the problems… ??

      Does it bring anything good to ur child???

      No……….it just satisfies ur ego of hurting others and blaming others…. “

    • #2495
      Anonymous

      Stringent laws are to maintain law and order. Prevent crime.

      498a is not only for dowry but also for cruelty towards woman.

      What if the man continues to do wrong things knowingly in spite of warning.

      What if man promises not to repeat and repeats the same again.

      It was the main cause for our conflicts but I did not file cases for his unethical behavior thinking about the family honor, husband’s reputation, girl future and our child life. This was not reason for filing 498a. I tried to resolve thru marriage counselor. But he already filed divorce and child custody. the irreparable damage to my trust was already done and I could no longer hold any respect for him. He too could not face me and deserted me, made me financially insecure and abducted child.. His parents unaware of the real reason also became part of the conspiracy.

      He knew I will be lodging 498a but still he continued. I had every reason to file the case

      After lodging 498a I got the child and they too stayed away from me.

      Why will I not help in quashing the case if the father mends his ways even now.

      7 vows of marriage ceremony is a commitment we forget so easily.

    • #2496
      Anonymous

      each person may react differently in a given situation depending upon his/her personality.

    • #2497
      Anonymous

      “u face injustice from husband, u filed 498a. what adivce do u have for men who face injustice from wife. i have seen many times in this forum us ay to such men dont file case even if they have proofs. so

      injustice to wife = file case

      injustice to husband = dont file case and listen to wife.”- dearvarma

      injustice done to any human being should be condemned.

    • #2498
      Anonymous

      he deserted you or you left his house sitting cruelty.

      in your previous post you said he was ” wrong/unethical” thats not cruelty or leads to 498A.

      now tell me what you mean by ” wrong/unethical”

      let readers decide was that cuelty or support your claim of 498A.

      many women leave husband home including my ex left home saying i was coming home drunk and beating her. indian law and court/judges belive in such words and their sob stories. even win 498A case.

      498a or warnings will not solve marital problems, indian women have easy option to way out with 498A, but 498A never solve their actual problem. same want to her husband to bend to her demands, and still dreaming he will mend and repent.

      STOP dreaming rekha, now we know why u used 498A, by force or with warning you cannt change a man or world. OK.

    • #2499
      Anonymous

      Some quick questions, Rekha Ji!

      Were you able to catch your husband red handed? If yes, why was he doing this. Was the response from your side was good on his physical needs. May be he might have found you less interested.

      Did you tried to tell the truth to his parents? You knew that his parents were otherwise good to you, there was no reason involving them in 498A problem. You yourself said that they were ignorant.

      My wife herself liked to sleep and never respected my feelings as soon as I got married. I had controlled and never enjoyed. Even then, I had never ever flirted any other girl after marriage, but she continued to nag me for having a relationshi and later she herself found with some sms and maintaining another sim card without my knowledge later on, when enquired about the sms from her paramour.

    • #2500
      Anonymous

      in case your husband was cruel, you could have walked out of the marriage with dignity. You could not do so because you were not financially independent i believe. In case you are not you could have asked for monthly maintenance and could have worked for yourself and your child.

      Rekha ji, if you ask for exorbitant amounts as compensation and say that he is unwilling to do so then where is your integrity.. can u not support your child and yourself or is it that you want to enjoy life on your husband’s money. please have some self respect and work hard and prosper. there is nothing left in all such case baazi… you are not going to get anything. And remember one thing, Good or Bad you do for others… will ultimately come back to you. May be your husband was not good enough but since you are not bad you should not resort to such cheap acts.

      If someone doesn’t treat you nicely… make yourself worthy of being treated nicely… if he is bad.. you should leave bad things behind you and move ahead for better things… Be good and God will be good to you…

      My advice to you is ” Do not get enslaved by your anger, i know you cannot think beyond revenge”

      If your husband was bad… ask for a settlement and move ahead in life… you are spoiling ur life… i can see it from the anger coming out of you…. You are having an option of getting out of this hell.. and you are not leaving it… Look at poor fellows who don’t have the option of getting out of this hell… for no mistake of theirs and are treated badly… i am saying all this as a friend… please do not take me otherwise…

    • #2501
      Anonymous

      in case your husband was cruel, you could have walked out of the marriage with dignity. You could not do so because you were not financially independent i believe. In case you are not you could have asked for monthly maintenance and could have worked for yourself and your child.

      I would have walked out of marriage if we did not have a child. I had taken up a job immediately so there was no question of me not being financially independent. child is OUR child. we both are responsible.

      there will be reason for every action. even theif will say he did not have money so he stole. is it right? crime is a crime whatever be the reason. knowingly if you commit the crime is more grave.

      how many of us will accept our mistakes?

      who will decide on settlement. both or alone

      Will the anger do any better to the child? child is the common factor of this marriage? will the spouses be happy if the child is not happy and not getting what he deserves? will they happy even after remarrying without changing negitive attitude.

      what about the young widows with the childrens. do they all remarry- did they spoil their life or is it the destiny. they will have to move on in life with the responsibility of childrens.

    • #2502
      Anonymous

      Some quick questions, Rekha Ji!

      Were you able to catch your husband red handed? If yes, why was he doing this. Was the response from your side was good on his physical needs. May be he might have found you less interested.

      – Yes I cought him. what if he say if someone is giving him why should he not take? if someone is giving him because he is giving her money for her needs.?? if he is getting something fresh from outside why will he give or take from wife. so wife should tolerate or just walk out of marriage leaving the child with the father. this is dignity??

      Did you tried to tell the truth to his parents? You knew that his parents were otherwise good to you, there was no reason involving them in 498A problem. You yourself said that they were ignorant.

      – they did not believe me and also did not allow their son to live with me and child and filed cases with counter allegation.

      My wife herself liked to sleep and never respected my feelings as soon as I got married. I had controlled and never enjoyed. Even then, I had never ever flirted any other girl after marriage, but she continued to nag me for having a relationshi and later she herself found with some sms and maintaining another sim card without my knowledge later on, when enquired about the sms from her paramour.

      – did you not think about your wife’s emotional and physical requiement (as soon as you got married)?? may be this is the cause.

    • #2503
      Anonymous

      What ever I have mentioned in 498a has sufficient proof & eye witness for conviction.

      I will help him to quash the 498a case if he is ready for settlement what I & child deserves.

      that is the only solution for him to escape punishment.

    • #2504
      Anonymous

      This is what is known as BLACKMAILING. In ur previous postings u ve written that for child sake u can live with ur husband. If ur allegations are correct then no wife will try to return to her husband. U ve written that u can HELP ur husband if ur DEMANDS are fulfilled. This is shear BLACKMAILING, which even Supreme Court has termed as LEGAL TERRORISM.

      If ur husband gets punishment what u will get, only sadistic pleasure nothing else. U r talking about ur Child, what effect he will have if comes to know that his/her father is in jail (if ur assertions are correct which I doubt). Whether he will be happy to be known as son/daughter of Jailed person. For ur greed and Vindictive nature u will spoil ur child life and u will have to answer him/her in future, BE BETTER PREPARED FOR THAT

    • #2505
      Anonymous

      not blackmailing but compensation for rebuilding life. which he can afford easily. eg: if he has 4 houses. what is wrong if he is gives one house to his estranged wife. Is it not worth rather than spending amount on litigations. and giving to that girl to keep her mouth shut.

      it is not me returning to him..we both coming together for child .

      Going to jail means spoiling his career and loss of income/reputation. why did he not thought about it when I warned. he knew he was wrong. it was his choice. he should have thought about the child’s life.

    • #2506
      Anonymous

      When you do not want your husband, why are you begging for his money ?

      498a will not justify your move, as you misused it.

      you should have filled related case for what he has done. and asked for Divorce instead blackmailing like this.

      Why dont you thought about Child when you filled 498a+ cases ?

      why this question only for him.

    • #2507
      Anonymous

      u r so lucky rekha ji. u catch ur husband red handed, u file 498a. we catch our wife red handed, we get 498a.

    • #2508
      Anonymous

      the name rekha means line….limit. but not in this forum. here we see a haggard beggar going by the same name. posting childishly like a know-all.

    • #2509
      Anonymous

      rekhaji,

      One simple question, once the cases are settled would you like to marry again? I can give you the list of some general questions which the men asks usualy.

    • #2510
      Anonymous

      When you do not want your husband, why are you begging for his money ?

      -what if he also does not want me?what will you call the money given to that girl or his parents/siblings.

      498a will not justify your move, as you misused it.

      -In what ways?

      you should have filled related case for what he has done. and asked for Divorce instead blackmailing like this.

      498a is definately not filed for cheating. you or wrong he wanted divorce after I cought him red handed. I have not asked for my legal right though I am eligible. it is for the son (child support)and if he is so much concerned should he not? had I worked continuesly and not married to him I would have bought a house of my own?

      Why dont you thought about Child when you filled 498a+ cases ?

      why this question only for him.

      -why not this question to him???. I thought of child should have both father and mother and trying to solve the problem through councellor. & if I want I cud have filed all cases(CR125 and DV) long back. but he took the first stand by abducting and filing for divorce / child custody. he himself wanted to get into problems and did not think about the child.

    • #2511
      Anonymous

      u r so lucky rekha ji. u catch ur husband red handed, u file 498a. we catch our wife red handed, we get 498a.

      498a was not filed for this reason.

    • #2512
      Anonymous

      the name rekha means line….limit. but not in this forum. here we see a haggard beggar going by the same name. posting childishly like a know-all.

      what if my real name is sadhbhavan or shanti or namrata or devi. will that make any difference.

      so his son is begger if he want his father to buy something for him to play? what if he does not want the child custody for some reason but truely loves the child but child and mother need monetary support for place to live.

    • #2513
      Anonymous

      One simple question, once the cases are settled would you like to marry again? I can give you the list of some general questions which the men asks usualy.

      Mr. Arun,

      Isn’t is better to live without marrying than marrying but having no family life?? and living in past.

      Even if I find someone willing to marry I cannot give justice to that relation when our son needs me and with me. I am not looking for happiness.

    • #2514
      Anonymous

      it is my personal choice but that does not mean that divorced women should not remarry

    • #2515
      Anonymous

      Rekha;

      Do not blame Everything on your husband.

      it take 2 persons to run family/marriage smoothly. like a cart.

      You cannt clap with one hand. so there should be some fault of you. Why do you think he doesnt want you….?.

      Whatever your problem or his, the case you filled solved your problem with him ? than black mailing him.

      498A will creat revenge attitude not only your husband but his whole family.

      498A is not answer for any of women problems than fast track to divorce.

      if you really cared for child then you should have talked with him along with elders and reached amicable solution and mutual divorce.when you found out he finished with you.

      in current situation of india, men knows how long it take to get divorce and solve other legal issues

      what is the use getting divorce after 10 years and maitenance after fighting long legal battle.

      can you bring back those lost years…?

      Your age…?

      thats why someone rightly said.

      AURATH KA AKKAL GUTNEKA NICHE

    • #2516
      Anonymous

      if women take child with her that ok.

      if Father take…. that abduction. ?

    • #2517
      Anonymous

      Do not blame Everything on your husband.

      it take 2 persons to run family/marriage smoothly. like a cart.

      You cannt clap with one hand. so there should be some fault of you. Why do you think he doesnt want you….?.

      – very true it takes 2 willing person … and how well one can balance…

      Whatever your problem or his, the case you filled solved your problem with him ? than black mailing him.

      498A will creat revenge attitude not only your husband but his whole family.

      498A is not answer for any of women problems than fast track to divorce.

      — it was not with the intension of solving. prboblems and challanges are either ways.

      – but yes it has given me a protection from further atrocities when you are sure it is a divorce. it has given me a platform for settlement. and yes amicable settlement for both.

      if you really cared for child then you should have talked with him along with elders and reached amicable solution and mutual divorce.when you found out he finished with you.

      -I did… but amicable solution did not happen. i don’t consider it as finished when we have common strings attached(child). it can be mistakes or lust…

      in current situation of india, men knows how long it take to get divorce and solve other legal issues

      – fast track divorce is for those who wants to remarry. and do not want do and don’ts of marriage.

      what is the use getting divorce after 10 years and maitenance after fighting long legal battle.

      can you bring back those lost years…?

      Your age…?

      – divorce yes you may have to wait . but you can claim intirim maitenance for survival .. it is lost years for both. with or without divorce if it is failed marriage(years of misery).

      thats why someone rightly said.

      AURATH KA AKKAL GUTNEKA NICHE

      – aurath ke bhagair bhi tho admi nahi reh sakta- maa/bhahen/biwi/beti

      whether it is your bitter half or better half you agree that she is your half.

    • #2518
      Anonymous

      if women take child with her that ok.

      if Father take…. that abduction. ?

      – what is right as per law of land -is right

    • #2519
      Anonymous

      it is you say Abduction; law is not saying. all Feminists think so.

      Law of the land says “with best interest of the child”

      and there are verdicts aginst women who abducted children too. that too from USA.

      dont think it will favor you always, changes are just started, and now judiciary also know it becuase of misuse of law and women crocodile tears.

      Law will not always dance as women says/think.

    • #2520
      Anonymous

      Law of the land says “with best interest of the child”

      with only few exception with father but in majority of cases “best interest of the child who is less than 5 year is in custody of mother.

    • #2521
      Anonymous

      thinking women breast feed their child for 5 years.

      soon law will know todays women dont even breastfeed for 5 months then they automatically change whatever so far women got in the best interest of child will change.

      soon we will fight for child rights to breastfed child for 5 years. else give child to us.

    • #2522
      Anonymous

      WCD/NCW do not count MAA/BAHEN as aurath. do you know that ?

      ask NCW

    • #2523
      Anonymous

      no….in what ways??

      you mean to say the child is given to mother only because she is breastfeeding.. and so she should continue to breastfeed for 5 years??? can you take the child from the womb?? just because you want physical custody?

      Have you ever thought of the mother’s emotions and pain during pregnancy and child birth.

      Iam really surprised if your wife is agreeing to your thinking. mother and father has there own roles to play for child development and growth in different stages of his life. if you think you can do what woman can do in every way. exchange the reproductive organs and give birth to the child. you will experiance yourself.

      your child is needs your support now.

    • #2524
      Anonymous

      Dr. Dsouza,

      it is very sad that your child did not get mothers and fathers both affection. atleast you should have communicated to him your feeling. you could have been near to him eventhough physically miles away. now when he needs a father. you want to create hatred towards mother and take his love. this does not happen practically when you are married and staying away without any communication. Your child will start hating you and will never come to you no matter how much money you spend on him..

      your love for him is true but unless you do not express he will not understand.

    • #2525
      Anonymous

      I asked visitation and custody on 2003 and granted this year by HC;

      so i was kept away by force; and not away from child by my wish. Even i was having visitation order and went to their home, but they denied to allow me to meet him. now they face content of court.

    • #2526
      Anonymous

      NCW / WCD should look after women problems right ? as they even fight for prostitutes, legal terrorists but when a mother of 498A case victim approch them they deny any help. as per them she is not a women to ask their help.

    • #2527
      Anonymous

      there should be some reason for delay… may be your approach was wrong.. if they do not obey to the court order they will face the consequence.

      you are here for what purpose??. r u not fighting for 498a victims similarly NCW/WCD fights for womens welfare and their rights. if woman is also part in crime she will also face the same consequences. how will you come to know 498a person is really (victim) guilty or not… investigation will only reveal ..allegations need to be proved. guilty should be punished for prevention of crime and maintainence of law and order.

    • #2528
      Anonymous

      Madam u have correctly stated that it is not know whether a person is really guilty or not and only investigation will reveal that. Then why treat a person or old lady ( or pregnant ladies) guilty without investigation. They have spent days in jail without investigation, only on the basis of complaint. If NCW think only young lady need their protection not older ones?

    • #2529
      Anonymous

      but without investigation/panchnama does the police arrest anyone?

    • #2530
      Anonymous

      Again, in which country are you living. do you not know that 498A is non-bailable. why do people apply for AB. so u want to know does police arrest anyone without investigation.

      u know abt tihar jail. poor old ladies with no money for AB. its filled with such women.

      u want to know a real example. my father got AB because he was not staying with us (on long tour). my mother didnt get AB because in complaint it was mentioned that she tried to burn my wife (mind u no investigation or proof still AB rejected). me being husband and by default a cruel man also didnt get.

      after months of trying and being underground we decided enough and went back home. on day one we both mom and son were arrested and presented in court. fortunately judge gave my mom regular bail probably seeing my mom’s health and i spent 7 nights in judicial custody.

      yes guilty should be punished and also false cases and pergury should be dealt with an equal iron hand.

      “if woman is also part in crime she will also face the same consequences” u r such an illogical person. i am wondering how u managed to get a job. women are part of crime for filing false cases and even after they are proved false NCM doesnt listen to mothers and sisters. we have live examples.

    • #2531
      Anonymous

      we have cases on girls direction police arrest people on friday night and are presented on monday morning. (they cannot keep people in custody for more than 24 hrs). so by default our mom are kept in that filthy place for 2 days even if judge gives them regular bail.

    • #2532
      Anonymous

      dearverma

      u ve correctly stated the reality of 498A cases. If one is influential then he can avoid arrest for some time but in most of the cases arrest is made and that too on Fridays so that onehas to stay in custody for more than 2 days. My wife doesn’t stay with me, demanded 40Lakhs for separation, when i refused she filed several cases on me. She has sent me sms that if I dont agree to pay her demanded money my old mother will be sent to jail and I will lose my job, as I work in Govt. sector. Went to Thana with sms to file Information petition. Thana I/c refused as according to him” They cannot take complaint against ladies (wife)”.

      This is reality of our life. Lady does not want to live to husbands but demands huge amount in alimony, refusal leads to 498A. I am ready to pay reasonable amount but Rs.40Lakh is beyond my capabilities.

    • #2533
      Anonymous

      Jha;

      if she left you her own, why r u ready to pay reasonable amount of money ?

      they know you are ready to pay, so why not demand more….

      its like a say.

      if you bend, they will bang you more.

    • #2534
      Anonymous

      Dr. Dsouza,

      u have rightly pointed out mu mistake. Initially I was afraid of cases, so i thought best way is to buy peace. that was my fault. She wrote a complaint letter in my office also and there was pressure on me from office also to resolve this issue at the earlierst. so i committed mistake. she is not ready to return nor ready to give divorce till her demand of 40 lakh r met. 4 cases still running on me. main pt. is what maximum damage she can do, I may go to jail and lose job thats all. if i ve capoabilities i will get another job.

    • #2535
      Anonymous

      Unless you face, you never overcome that fear.

      lear to fight back when you are right. there are ways to counter her all demands. dont giveup wihtout a fight, and later regret you should have fouhgt it out. our laws are biased, still dont giveup so easily. let her fight for long and she no way entitled to get the money as she demanded.

      best of luck we are with you there are judgments related to maintenance and other laws here http://mynation.net/docs/sitemap/ use it wisely. you may win like many of our other members.

    • #2536
      Anonymous

      Dsouza,

      What is your advice for women who has left her job after marriage as per wishes of their in laws. Later subjected to cruelty and harassment. Also has children. What should they to do?

      Suppose if your mother, sister or daughter is having such problem. What would you advice?

    • #2537
      Anonymous

      myproblem,

      After so many posts you may have understood pros and cons in case if the cases are filed.

      What have you decided?

    • #2538
      Anonymous

      If any women is harassed or subjected to cruelty and if she has such proofs then there is law to protect her interest. leaving job is upto her. husband or his family should not force her, it should be with mutual understanding. if she was working at her mothers place and after marriage she has to move to husband place, so she cannt demand that she want to work at same place. and that should decided before marriage itself.

      if she has children, custody should not given to her, just becuase she is mother/women or should not given to her coz in the name of child she will bargain for money from husband. as per some judgements working or capable to work women will not get maintenance, so she has to prove finding new job and capable to raise child better than her husband. and whoever get the custody should demand other parent to visit child every week and spend at least 2 hours valuable time with the child. and any parent who fill child ears against other parent should bared from meeting or visiting child or should visit under supervision.

    • #2539
      Anonymous

      what if in a situation she has to leave the house unable to bear further or husband has abandoned her and child, will she be able to get a same type of job she was doing being away from work force for so many years. and if she takes up some job to sustain life and basic necessities and needs some support from the father for raising the child and to provide good education? in that circumstances what she should do?

      what will you advice to a woman who instead of giving up (suicide) has will to live and also raise the child with respect and dignity? what should she do?

    • #2540
      Anonymous

      if she prove she was really harassed then there is legal remedy.

      no need to committe suicide just to blackmail. indian women has more support from govt and everyone [ ref : http://mynation.net/gender-equality.htm ] so she should not beg from husband.

    • #2541
      Anonymous

      – so I am using this legal remedy for justice with all the proof. and unfortunately the accused is father of the child so what is to be done?. should i still get him punished? or leave him.? or just tolerate

      actually giving up (suicide) and blackmailing (intimating about the action) is the same?

      that support what the indian government & everyone is giving to such woman is also called child support and maintenance. why not she claim it legally instead of begging???

    • #2542
      Anonymous

      Law is Blind, it should treat all equal. if you are true you will get justice, else also in india women get money and maitenance if they shed crocodile tears even they are wrong.

      Indian women want to grab govt money as well as husband money but real justice they face from their children whom they abducted from thier father. no doubt.

      PS : just now Admin informed me, YOU ARE BLOCKED, coz you are creating new continued thread which is closed. and its is discussed other than actual thread.

    • #2543
      Anonymous

      why did admin not informed rekha before blocking? and why he prefered informing you?

    • #2544
      Anonymous

      coz i asked to track her id and admin foundout there are 2 ids with same IP. you know better Rekha/humanbeing…!

      this forum is not to SPAM, if you have issue or a query you can ask. if you can answer someone query, answer wisely, coz this Forum treat both gender equaly.

      we are not here to fight, i learnt so many things from here, and from members.

      Share your knowledge.if you can.

    • #2545
      Anonymous

      Dear Rekha

      I got a query posted in lawyersclubindia.com

      http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Family-34312.asp

      Are the same rekha or this is some other rekhha sharma

    • #2546
      Anonymous

      Rekha is not her real name. she only told in her other post. so i asked admin to check and found out there are 2 login ids from same IP.

    • #2547
      Anonymous

      D souza you are also not a real doctor. You can call me rekha’s sister. hope I will not be blocked just because I am rekha’s sister just like relative of 498a victim. Rekha wanted to reply to your post. why was it closed before rekha cud answer it. do you have any arrangement with admin or you yourself are admin so you did not want to listen to the truth and have meaningful debate or discussion. rekha is not here to post spam or break the rules of the forum. Has rekha not wisely answered/adviced to many victims trying to help from her own experiences.

      if rekha has not followed the rules she was punished by blocking without warning instead admin informed the 3rd person. similarly if people who are not law abiding citizens and resort to antisocial acitivities go to jail. if there was some preventive mechanism such as compulsory councelling at the police station before actual complaint is taken could have prevented many 498a cases and saved many homes from distruction.

    • #2548
      Anonymous

      who is right and who is wrong that left to admin.

      How come all of a sudden you became sister of Rekha, Even Rekha is not real name, you wanted to be a fake sister of Fake id, when you both are one. she may be adviced wisely but not in the related threat instead bringing her personal matter or someone else person life into different thread.

      there are mediation centers run by feminists, so called CAW cells, where they force to man to admit all, whatever his wife says and wanted coz they know once matter reach to police, it will sure end of marriage.

    • #2549
      Anonymous

      Dear Rekhji.

      Let me tell you from the marriage of their whatever she wanted she got by hook or by crook.She wanted to be separate with my brother she got.She didnot want to come down to our house its ok.She didnot allow initially our child(My bother’s baby)to visit her own house we accepted.Moreover she is not happy with my brother also.Do you know why??because whatevr she want you must give,if you dont you will get punished.Moreover can you believe that she filed 3 times case agaisnt my brother in local police station.What this means??Even once she hurted my mother in front of her mother and my parents had to leave that place.That situation happened when my parents went to my brother rented house where he is working,Actually they didnot want to go there but my brother forced them due to illness of my sister in law.At that she had an minor operation,appendix.Even whatever she steal that not from our own house that from either shop etc.Even recently she made false sign & withdrawn 20000.Now we are tried enough & we suffered a lot.She only loves her self.from last 15 days without saying anytbing to my brother she went to her own house & without caring that her child can face problem as she recently admitted to school.So wht will you say??

    • #2550
      Anonymous

      Dear Dsouza

      Please provide me the contact number of your voulunteers in Assam & in Orissa.

    • #2551
      Anonymous

      Mrs. Gogoi 09435548142

      Ranjeet 09435558618 Guwahati

      Bishwajeet 09435598383 Nagoan

      Bhubaneswar Tarun Kumar Dass 09853216066

      as posted in group.

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