Reply To: Regular issues make life like a hell

Dear Sir,

We have been in this relationship since last four years and these stupids fights are not new to us. And i think four years time is sufficient to know about the strength, kindness, maturity and problem solving attitude of any person. you said very well that taking care of parents is my duty and my wife is my responsibility. but i can not forget my duty by being loyal to my responsibility. i don’t want to kick my wife out rather i am willing to take her back to my home. but she want me keep away from my duties as they didn’t treat with her properly. Also she doesn’t let me to start new life with her by keeping all those things out of mind. Sir, i think to live happily two hearts should involved with each other is sufficient not a 2bhk house. Whatever ways you have told me, we have already adopted those processes. we met two lawyers for counselling, one private doctor as a psychiatric. But all those attempts have gone to vein. Her parents and she is not ready to discuss all these issues with any counselor. My wife thinks that whatever she thought is perfectly fine and it will not get changed.

my house is on the name of mine and father. Father is ready to give me whatever money i had involved in that house and also ready to help me financially to take a new house for me. But this option is not acceptable to my wife. Now my parents said if she wants this house then bring her here, we all will go somewhere else. I told my wife like this and also told her that once we go there you also have to change yourself. you should not fight with me if i go to meet my parents, you should not fight with me if i sit late in the office for extra work and prime thing is you should not show any distrust on me like i am having an affair with someone. but she is not ready to accept those things. She is saying that living in that house is my right and if i do so then i am not doing some extra-ordinary thing. so she will not let me do those things and will continue to fight on those issues.

Now sir tell me, i am saying my parents to leave that house, they are also ready to do that and if all of us are compromising up to this level then why she is not ready to step back at some extent.

Sir, it is very difficult to give answers to many questions which are not required. It is very difficult to digest the thing that I need to discuss for 2-3 hours with my wife if i need to go out of station for my office work. it is difficult to make her believe that I am seriously going to meet my friends, not any girlfriend. It looks good if you are doing those things for 2–3 times but every time spending and making her believe on those issues really gives lot of trouble. I scared to tell her about my plans by thinking that how much time she will spend on discussing on those. I had cancelled too many seminars of my office which were very important for my carrier just because of these nonsense. Rather i have changed 3 companies just because her phone calls in my office.

Now how many times i need to talk to her and how can i make her realize that you also need to do some compromises. She doesn’t talk to my parents, she doesn’t allow them to come to my house in which right now we are staying on a rent. if they come then she literally go out of house and come back when they leave from my house. Sir all these things are acceptable, but by doing all these things also she is not satisfied that the only thing which makes me unstable and resist me for doing anything for her. Now if i know all those things, then how can i think to continue this relationship anymore?