- This topic has 9 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 10 years, 5 months ago by Anonymous.
16/08/2011 at 11:30 PM #499AnonymousGuest
I got married in 2.5 years back and It was an arranged marriage. Since the beginning my wife never wanted to live in a joint family and with my parents and I can’t leave my parents.
After her first bidai she came back after 14 months after lots of persuasion. Everything was looking normal in the start but then she started pressurizing me to take her out daily and outside dinner etc…she also all of sudden started creating harrassing my mother (who is totally illiterate and can’t even make a phone call) during my office time. My mother has a long history of high blood pressure, diabetes and asthma; she has to take the medicines for all the types daily. She used to spill hot milk on her, throwing chimta etc. but I kept on ignoring, thought she has little temper issues. But then she started burning incense sticks inside knowing the fact this would create breathing problem for my mother. When I asked her why, she started shouting madly and we had an argument…for a week when everything was looking normal then one week later her mother (my in-law) brought police and some rowdies and took me to the police station. Then she took her daughter with her with all of her jewelries and belongings with her and we still don’t know any genuine reasons…now we have heard that they are thereatning for 498A if I don’t leave family and parents….please suggest what should I do, as I don’t a relation without trust.
17/08/2011 at 7:32 AM #3071AnonymousGuest
What happend when police took you.
get her FIR copy why they took you, so you will know her motive.
make police report that she left your hosue on D day, with her jewellary and child, it will useful later.
after getting FIR copy ask Police SP to do proper investigation, you can send letter by speed post and keep track and status with RTI.
and you can contact out helpline or weekly meetings if meetings are conducted in your area, they will guide you what to do.
meanwhile you can file Child visitation too.
22/08/2011 at 12:32 AM #3072AnonymousGuest
Thanks for replying. No, there wasn’t any FIR filed in the police station and I don’t have any kids too. Based on the suggestions however I did notify the Bangalore Commissioner of Police about the incident by Speed Post.
Also, the police pressurised me to write a statement as per my mother-in-law direction. I tried to take the copy but all in vain.
22/08/2011 at 4:30 AM #3073AnonymousGuest
without FIR or complaint , how can police take you to police station.
you have right to ask this to police.
file RTI and get the details, may be there is some complaint and your are not aware of it.
22/08/2011 at 6:17 PM #3074AnonymousGuest
Thanks for replying. We spoke to lawyers and tried for RTI but they said without FIR they can’t/won’t do anything (I will try again). However this incident took place in November 2010, can we still go for RTI? Also, I already have notiffied the Bangalore Commissioner of Police about the incident by Speed Post and have submitted the “restitution of conjugal rights” in local court (in Uttar Pradesh). To be honest I don’t see this marriage is going to work as my mother-in-law has very good connections with gundas (anti-social elements). I am looking for an amicable solution. Could you please suggest?
I am sorry if the questions are silly…
23/08/2011 at 7:43 AM #3075AnonymousGuest
“I am looking for amicable solution.”
Then why are you here….go with what ur lawyer says. We here are to fight for our rights and the dignity.
Why we should suffer for the crime which we never committed?
Why you should not make their life miserable?
Why cant I fight for the justice for your you and your Family?
These should be the questions you should be asking. We are not here to help for resolving matter amicably. thats the job of your lawyer…
Friends, i think this guy is here for his own safeguards and least bothered for mens or husbands safeguard.
Shouldn’t we ask him to stop his post or stop him supporting or guiding??????/
23/08/2011 at 8:59 AM #3076AnonymousGuest
We agree with amicalble solution but at the same time you should demand justice for taking you to police station and harassing you.
When other party did not thought about amicable solution why you are seeking it….?
Even if you want it, will they allow you find amicable solution…….? for sure NO.
You can always file RTI for Every move government dogs make.
ask them on what basis they took you to police station
ask for Police dairy record and also copy of the paper you signed.
if you need farther guidence get justice amicably you can ask us.
23/08/2011 at 12:59 PM #3077AnonymousGuest
kurheamol – Why am I seeking for mutually agreeable divorce – because both of my parents are diabetic and are high blood pressure patients and my father had a paralysis attack…I am the only one in family to take care of them. In UP there is no provision of anticipatory bail and my mother-in-law has political connections. That’s why I am looking for mutually agreed divorce.
One more thing, they came up with the divorce proposal a1.5 months back (maybe they wanted to test us or something I don’t know, but we agreed at once, but then they stopped). Not it’s all the threats of several shitty laws which are in favour of the “women”. I wanted to know what my options are if my in-laws go for FIR etc…because that would be theirs last option (they don’t want any divorce at all, they only want me to leave my parents and family and become their puppet…which will never happen). What will happen if I file for the divorce first…
One last thing solving amicably something doesn’t mean you are coward nor have lack of dignity. My dignity doesn’t allow living with a woman who stabbed in back and I won’t let that happen. The bloody irony is
Thanks very much for your invaluable insights.
Dr.Dsouza – I tried several times for the copy of the paper but all in vain…they keep on saying no FIR, no record…
Moderator – please close the this thread and sincere apologies for wasting everybody’s time.
24/08/2011 at 8:18 AM #3078AnonymousGuest
if there was no record or FIR then what for they took you to police station ? and on basis.
im sure they did`t took you for picnic… right ?
then you have right to ask and they have to tell;
if there is no record then file complaint against those who took you.
30/08/2011 at 3:47 AM #3079AnonymousGuest
If there is apprehension in your mind that your wife will prosecute & arrest you along with your family, you may apply for ant. bail, if FIR will not there court will issue 72 hours notice to police.
http://www.jaihindlegal.com 9821387099, 9224799546.
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