Tagged: 498a, CHILD custody, domestic violence, dva, false case
- This topic has 129 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 13 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
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12/01/2011 at 7:46 AM #411AnonymousGuest
wants to know what happens if the 498A is filed and complainant leaves the jurisdiction immediately due to fear and no support (to stay with her parents in different state.) if she wants to fight back how will she get the case number after 3 years. can a husband try to quash the case in the absence of wife? during this period(3 years) husband tries to show he wants to reconcile by taking a house and trial period.? meantime consent terms is filed in the court with terms of reconcilation and also divorce in case the reconciliation fails. 6months period is given to buy a house and condition that the same house will be retained as permanent alimony in case the trail period fails. but he does not buy a house and trial period also does not happen. my question is whether it is some sort of stategy to quash the 498a by showing that reconciliation is in process. what should be counter action.
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12/01/2011 at 7:57 AM #1937AnonymousGuest
Why complainant leaves the jurisdiction immediately unless she filled False case ?
Husband has right to defend and go for quash, as she proves herself that she filled false case leaving the jurisdiction.
Women will not get any Alimony who leave herslef sitting cruelty, as filling false case itself is a cruelty on husband find judgement here http://mynation.net/docs/sitemap/
and dont forget to read what happens to legal Terrorist who file File flase case on her husband here http://mynation.net/abio/fate-2/
BEST OF LUCK
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12/01/2011 at 8:23 AM #1938AnonymousGuest
what if it is not a false case and have sufficiant evidence/witness to prove cruelity. can she not leave jurisdiction for emotional support after informing police. what if she does not have place to stay and has a infant. what if she is in constant fear of child being taken away. what if she has health problem and needs care and attention. and want to be with her near and dears. how can you conclude she is cruel. without knowing the actual facts. my question still remains unanwered
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12/01/2011 at 8:34 AM #1939AnonymousGuest
If its not False then Law will do the justice. She is Bold enough to file the case why she fear for anything.
Child is not her Property Child Father has equal right too and child should growup in care / love of both parents, if you deny that then you are harassing father of the Child, and you deny Childs right to be with her Father.
Court will not liten to Sob stories of health problem, you have to prove it to them.
it is not we term it as FALSE case as per study report says 98% cases are False. it is your own kind dug your grave.coz majority women file flase cases only.
now its your turn to prove its not False case. and thats not so easy
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12/01/2011 at 9:06 AM #1940AnonymousGuest
child is not a property first of all.for child development and upbringing both parents should live in harmony. he or she needs both parents. there will be normal wear and tear marriage. there should be compromise from both sides especially when there is a child. what if infant is abducted by father alongwith child’s passport. true or false of the case is ascertained by evidence and witness. what if there is no sufficient evidence and witness to prove. from this 98% how many will be such cases. what will happen to fate of oppressed women then? my question is still unanswered- any lawyers please help
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12/01/2011 at 9:50 AM #1941AnonymousGuest
Rekha, just give it a thought,
If a woman is really oppressed would she go back and stay with the hubby and settle with conditions like “house is given as alimony” in case the marriage fails again ? In my opinion, a really oppressed woman would instead not live with him at all and would want divorce.
Anyway, you would not find many lawyers on this forum ….
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12/01/2011 at 11:19 AM #1942AnonymousGuest
if it was only oppressed woman and not oppressed mother it would have been a easy decision to go for divorce.
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12/01/2011 at 11:21 AM #1943AnonymousGuest
Thats what i wrote CHILD IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY to keep her/him with you aginst child wish and husband wish.still saying CHILD NEED BOTH PARENTS.
After filling 498a what compromise you are expecting. You fillied it TRUE or FALSE because you were not ready to compromise.
Those who really want to make their marriage work, they do not go to Police, whatever the reasons may be.
Uou are talking about CHILD ABDUCTION but you kept child for ransom to bargain alimony, thats why you affraid that child may be taken away.
If anyone file FALSE case then only they dont have sufficient evidence to prove it. OR your husband has more proofs to prove your cruelty.
Now why do you want to quash 498A ?
if you were subjected to cruelty and dowry demand prove it, coz filling 498A is one way to DIVORCE only.
You cannt withdraw as you wish, its non compoundable.
You can ask judge, you are in no position to continue with the case, then move joint petition to dismiss.
If your husband dont agree then you are STUCK
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12/01/2011 at 11:24 AM #1944AnonymousGuest
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12/01/2011 at 11:31 AM #1945AnonymousGuest
you are wrong. i have no intention of quashing 498A as he is still cruel. if he loves the child he will definately give maintenance. child knows only luv & toys. infant/child below 5 years needs care and affection of mother more than father. access was never denied to the father.
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12/01/2011 at 11:46 AM #1946AnonymousGuest
I said He can quash but You cannt.
Why he has to give maintenance ? when he is not getting child to play and spend some quality time with Child ?
same i wrote earlier You kept the Child on ransom, to get maintenance as Child Support.
All women say access was never denied, sitting at your mother home knowing he will not come there.
If you really want to solve this Problem, our members can help you.
but you have to withdraw your 498a unconditionaly and he will not charge you for damage/defamation if any or paying him whatever money he spend countering 498a for last 3 years.
Unconditional Divorce without any maitenance but he will pay half of the child support on condition that on weekend he will get child.
if yea LET US KNOW.
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13/01/2011 at 4:08 AM #1947AnonymousGuest
this man is in a very good position in a MNC. so it should be a problem of giving even 5k to 10k for childs expenses if he really want to give the child decent life.
this man is caught in a indecent act with the adolecent child(minor). immediately shifts to his mothers place with all his belonging, files for divorce and child custody. does not attend marraige counsellors session till notice is sent. abducts the infant with the passport. then wife files 498a.
wife is not sitting in her mother home nor this man is scared to come there. he is being given access. the child is being raised with all the respect for the father.
grave is a final destination for all. digging once own grave or husbands grave will not do any better to the child life.
anyway i am in a wrong forum. thanks for offering me help
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13/01/2011 at 4:29 AM #1948AnonymousGuest
this man is in a very good position in a MNC. so it should NOT be a problem for giving even 5k to 10k for childs expenses if he really want to give the child decent life.
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13/01/2011 at 4:30 AM #1949AnonymousGuest
abducts the infant with the passport. then wife files 498a.
If father take its Abduction, same if Mother take it should be KIDNAPP right ?
it seems rekha can twist her tongue any way as she likes, in same post she says “abducts the infant with the passport.” but he is being given access…
both dosnt make any sense.
Child is with Mother but she has sob story he abducted the infant and now she want money Ransom in Child name.
What a money making idea….
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13/01/2011 at 4:39 AM #1950AnonymousGuest
Why do you think he has to pay, You enjoy most of the infants childhood, if he has given half then he will pay half.
I dont think child expensus will be more than 5000Rs per month. and half you have to pay.
We dont give Advice in favor only. we are here for equality. thats why u say you are in wrong Forum.
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13/01/2011 at 4:43 AM #1951AnonymousGuest
infant is given back to her with the help of police. and wife gets status quo custody. child is below 5 years that time
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13/01/2011 at 4:48 AM #1952AnonymousGuest
He is not even paying half. is it right to indulge in such act which will distroy the family. should the wife tolerate all this. everyone wants to be free to do any things then what is different between us human being and animals. is it eithical. what is family values and principals then?
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13/01/2011 at 4:59 AM #1953AnonymousGuest
Can the wife prove all this. what will be the effect of this on child. will any of his relatives believe take wife side. will that girl tell the truth if she is given gifts/presents and monetory help. girls parents will not even come to know. if wife manage house/childrens and work ,tolerate all this nonsense and man only work there can never be gender equality. gender equality is equal sharing of responsibility.
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13/01/2011 at 5:06 AM #1954AnonymousGuest
abduction because he went missing with child for 4 days without intimating and gives back the child thru relative in police station and disappers.
wife has taken child with permission of police and with status quo custody order. is this kidnapping?
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13/01/2011 at 5:09 AM #1955AnonymousGuest
You wrote “child is not a property first of all.for child development and upbringing both parents should live in harmony. he or she needs both parents. there will be normal wear and tear marriage. there should be compromise from both sides especially when there is a child”
and again you say “infant is given back to her with the help of police. and wife gets status quo custody.”
At that time why dont you thought about your own passage “for child development and upbringing both parents should live in harmony….bla bla”
Instead you should have asked the Police/Court before getting Child and kept with you, Even after 5 years of Age, that force Father to spend some quality time everyday with child instead keeping child only with you.
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13/01/2011 at 5:15 AM #1956AnonymousGuest
Yes, Keeping child only with mother is Violation of Child right, kidnapping, sabotage and Blackmailing too. because in India, Mother want child for her only so she can demand money in the name of Child support, they are not ashmed to take that money.
Now child is with you, you tell everyone where is the child, may be Father never know, what you do with the child, you may be thinking everyone knows about it. same Father also thought those 4 days Everyone knows where the child is.
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13/01/2011 at 5:17 AM #1957AnonymousGuest
living in harmony in marriage means tolerating these nonsense and before wife could talk anything he deserted the wife. infant who is depending on the mother for his norishment and care. is it not cruel to snatch him away.
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13/01/2011 at 5:20 AM #1958AnonymousGuest
is it not cruel to take him away.
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13/01/2011 at 5:29 AM #1959AnonymousGuest
responsibility of child is of both parents. if you ask the child he will say he wants both the parents with him like his friends in the neighbourhood and school. can the father answer his question. he wants the child custody so does not want him to be mother. does not care about the expenses. is he a good father first of all.
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13/01/2011 at 5:48 AM #1960AnonymousGuest
You mean to say Father will not take care of his Child ? there are mothers who refuse to breast feed becasue they care for their beauty than child.
If child says he want Father too why dont you ask court to tell Father to be with child at least for weekends, then you have right to fight for money
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13/01/2011 at 5:59 AM #1961AnonymousGuest
he is with the father during alternate weekends. it is wife who has initiated it. yes father can take care of the infant but cannot breastfeed. there also mothers(most) who left their careers to take care of the child. she has left her job and took a break of 2 years. when she was without the money to support she had to take up job at a very less salary to sustain life.
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13/01/2011 at 6:13 AM #1962AnonymousGuest
Good then raise the child single handed and let the child know what you have done. and he/she will judge both Mother and Father.
Dont beg for money from husband,else he will claim he paid money too for alternate weekends visits.
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13/01/2011 at 6:28 AM #1963AnonymousGuest
father know very well the child will be taken care and maintained without his support no matter how much hardship a mother has to undergo. this may be only for revenge for filing 498a or some strategy. does he really care about child’s welfare . what will be the end result child may not have the luxurous life as his father. but even if he meets the father will he have the same respect toward his father who is so cruel towards his mother and not even bothered about him and only want to access. he may not know all this as he is just a child. as he grows up he will have his own thought process and reasoning no matter how much mother hides the facts from him for normal upbringing.
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13/01/2011 at 6:37 AM #1964AnonymousGuest
cases will run for years father will remarry and have his own children(whether acquinted or convicted). he has money and position, relative who depend on him will support. the adolecent girl will also marry some one when she grows up. without even knowing the damage caused. life will move on.
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13/01/2011 at 6:42 AM #1965AnonymousGuest
Dear Rekha
Pls clarify one issue:
Who is cruel to a child ” A mother who files a false case of IPC 498a on his father and separated father and mother from him ” or ” A father who is denied all the rights and love which he could have showered on his child while being with his child 24*7″.
Why in matrimonial issues criminal laws are being implicated on hubby and his family.
Before going further on this issue what is a men’s responsibility being a father and a hubby.Pls let us know about these points :
1) What are the cases filed by you till today?
2)Who are the accussed in cases filed by you?
3)What is the period of Separation ?
4)What you have gained during the separation?
5)How is your life pre 498a and post 498a ? Are you satisfied with your life after 498a?
6)What are the reconciliation efforts done by you and your family?
7)What was the reason of dispute between you and your hubby?
8)Your child wants to be with whom :(a) Only Mom, (b) Only Dad, (c) Both mom and dad
9)Whom do you think the child should be with :(a) Only Mom, (b) Only Dad, (c) both mom and dad
10)What is your qualification ? Were you working earlier and now?If yes then what is your earning?
I thinks answer to these questions are required to understand your case and to advice you accordingly.
Be honest and answer all the questions …
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13/01/2011 at 6:48 AM #1966AnonymousGuest
If he is cruel then you have to prove it in Court, so you can get compensation, and same thing he can also do if he prove your cruelty on him if any, but unfortunatly he will not get any compensation, coz Indian judiciary draft laws in favor of women only.
Why to blame Father only for the Childs fate for not having luxurious life, that child will decide when he mature, Now you are affraid that child will find your faults and will not respect you.
He can marry Again,coz you took the child, he has right to marry and have Children, and no one is stopping you from getting married again.
He has money coz he work hard, anyone stopped you to do same ? NO.
I dont under stand why women think she is handicapped and others should support her.
Presidnet of India is a Women,and whole Congress kabaddi team under the thumb of a Women
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13/01/2011 at 7:20 AM #1967AnonymousGuest
Rekha,
What exactly do you want ? If you want us to appreciate your filing 498 A, its not going to happen, if you think we will teach you ways to extort money from your hubby, that possibility is ruled out, what else ? .. Regarding child custody, you are anyway asking for that in court … so …. better consult another forum …
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13/01/2011 at 8:00 AM #1968AnonymousGuest
Why should a person create such a situation that a wife has to go to police station. 498a will definately break the family. it is the last resort. everyone suffers wife,husband and childrens their family. knowingly if the wife has taken such a grave step how much of the pain/suffering she must have undergone.
asking for child’s maintenance is extortion than what is the gifts presents and monetary help given to that girl.
happiness of child is what she wants.
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13/01/2011 at 8:05 AM #1969AnonymousGuest
Dear Rakhi
If you are so honest answer my questions…
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13/01/2011 at 8:27 AM #1970AnonymousGuest
filing a false 498a is wrong and also mother if she really cares for the child she will not deny father’s rights and love which he could have showered on his child while being with his child 24*7″. father too should have that attitude. what if father does not care for the child expenses.
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13/01/2011 at 8:29 AM #1971AnonymousGuest
such strigent laws is to control injustice against married women. which should not be used as a weapon for revenge and misused.
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13/01/2011 at 8:34 AM #1972AnonymousGuest
wows taken during the marriage ceremony defines duties and obligations of husband/wife.
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13/01/2011 at 8:48 AM #1973AnonymousGuest
1) What are the cases filed by you till today?
– 498a,divorce, child custody, maintenance
2)Who are the accussed in cases filed by you?
– hubby, MIL and FIL
3)What is the period of Separation ?
– 3years
4)What you have gained during the separation?
– lost everything.
5)How is your life pre 498a and post 498a ? Are you satisfied with your life after 498a?
– was not happy either ways
6)What are the reconciliation efforts done by you and your family?
– marriage counsellors
7)What was the reason of dispute between you and your hubby?
-please go thru my earlier post
8)Your child wants to be with whom :(a) Only Mom, (b) Only Dad, (c) Both mom and dad.
– both
9)Whom do you think the child should be with :(a) Only Mom, (b) Only Dad, (c) both mom and dad
-both
10)What is your qualification ? Were you working earlier and now?If yes then what is your earning?
PG/No/yes- less than15K
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13/01/2011 at 9:21 AM #1974AnonymousGuest
Rekha;
Women goes to Police or file 498A for any reason or without reason.
some of our members wife filed when she was asked to make roties, in their own word.
“Mai roti belnekeliye paida nahi hui”
and my beloved wife said
“Im not your Slave to cook for you” and she filed case.
some women filed because thier husband found out their extra marital office Affair.
Some wanted to kick her In Laws out of house.
some filed they wanted control men
some wanted to show what they can and they wanted to show their capacity and teach a lesson to husband.
i duno why you filed.
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13/01/2011 at 9:27 AM #1975AnonymousGuest
How much Dowry You gave ?
How much they demanded ?
They demanded after marriage or at the time of marriage ?
NCW says after 498A all women are happy, but you say, you were not happy before and after too
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13/01/2011 at 9:33 AM #1976AnonymousGuest
5)How is your life pre 498a and post 498a ? Are you satisfied with your life after 498a?
– was not happy either ways
so 498a is not the answer for any women problem …. then you proved NCW / WCD wrong.
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13/01/2011 at 9:50 AM #1977AnonymousGuest
do u think what husband has done is right. don’t you condemn his action. this man who is educated and is in a very high position talks about family ethics and principles does not even think it is wrong and is cruel. tell me why should such person not be punished if found guilty
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13/01/2011 at 9:52 AM #1978AnonymousGuest
Law will punish if he is guilty.
You duty is to show the proof of his crimes.
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13/01/2011 at 9:56 AM #1979AnonymousGuest
498a is prevention to most of the womens problem. abduction of infant itself is cruelity
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13/01/2011 at 10:02 AM #1980AnonymousGuest
childs proper upbringing and welfare is top priority. childs happiness is mothers happiness and same should apply to father. so husband should give his share of maintenance mend his ways or face the consiquence
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13/01/2011 at 10:09 AM #1981AnonymousGuest
You said you filed only “498a,divorce, child custody, maintenance”
is this maintenance is for you or for child ? if its not for child then why you did not filed that too ?
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13/01/2011 at 10:10 AM #1982AnonymousGuest
You did not answered my dowry demand and gave question, that means there was no dowry but you filed case.
Right ?
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13/01/2011 at 10:19 AM #1983AnonymousGuest
there was no dowry issue this shows the wife is honest.
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13/01/2011 at 10:20 AM #1984AnonymousGuest
maintenance is for child
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13/01/2011 at 10:35 AM #1985AnonymousGuest
if there was no Dowry issue then why did you filed 498A ?
IPC 498A says those who demand dowry will be charged under Indian Penal code 498A.
so you filed False case
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13/01/2011 at 10:46 AM #1986AnonymousGuest
it also for cruelity
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13/01/2011 at 10:48 AM #1987AnonymousGuest
what about asking back the gifts/jwellery given during the marriage.
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13/01/2011 at 11:20 AM #1988AnonymousGuest
498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty
Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.
Explanation- For the purpose of this section, “cruelty” means-
(a) any wilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or
(b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.]
so what they have done to you out of these above clause.
You said they did not demanded any dowry so b) is out
and you are not committed suicide for sure nor haath pair thoda hai or danger to life.
still you filed 498A
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13/01/2011 at 11:21 AM #1989AnonymousGuest
You kept your jewellry with husband ?
my wife was clever then she runaway with my personal jewellry
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13/01/2011 at 3:20 PM #1990AnonymousGuest
2)Who are the accussed in cases filed by you?
– hubby, MIL and FIL
(Let’s accept for a moment you were facing cruelty from your hubby, then why you have involved his old age mom and dad, is it not cruely by you on them…)
You answer says you have gained nothing post 498a.Dear Rekha , im matrimonial disputes 498a is never a solutions…sometimes due to anger you might have felt that you have taken a right step to implicate your hubby and his old age ailing parents in false criminal case. Marriage is a CIVIL activity… You could have visited the counsellor before filling IPC 498a…Why not you have requested your hubby for reconciliation before 498a..
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14/01/2011 at 6:02 AM #1991AnonymousGuest
498a complaint is not registered if the case does not fall into this catagory. reconciliational efforts can not be one side. it was done though the basic foundation of marriage was completly distroyed. so many instances of cruelity happened but every time 498a was not lodged thinking about the child welfare. but now the child is also taken away. and also divorce and child custody petitions are filed in the court by the husband.
Old parents also try to save their son from problems and get involved.they are not even ready to accept that such incidence has happened. sometimes they are quite and do not even try resolve the dispute as they depend on son financially and have no other childrens to look after them. everyone tries to save their skin whether it is wrong or right.
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14/01/2011 at 6:15 AM #1992AnonymousGuest
Yes,Every parents tries to save their son…That does not mean they will be implicated in False Criminal Cases…
Saving somebody or not interfering between husband and wife does not amount to cruelty then why you charged them with false accussations of cruelty under section IPC 498a.
“LOSING EVERYTHING ” is the only result for a wife who has filed a false criminal case of IPC 498a to hubby and his old age ailing parents.
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14/01/2011 at 7:12 AM #1993AnonymousGuest
who will decide whether it is false or true criminal case? what about the grandchild? he is nothing? question is what was right and wrong? daughter and son are theirs own but daughter in law is outsider? it is not gain or loss. it is one life which we have. then why to spoil everyones life for some moments of pleasure. and distroying every one. why should a wife tolerate. is she not a human being like him. providing food cloth and shelter is the only responsibility of husband? no body has gained any thing even the husband and his relative. what about the child?????
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14/01/2011 at 7:15 AM #1994AnonymousGuest
can any one tell, in the situation what should have been the appropriate action of each one husband,wife and the elders before lodging the 498a
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16/01/2011 at 4:44 AM #1995AnonymousGuest
All know women take Child, coz she will get sympathy from others and ofcourse money from husband. Without thinking what Child want.? You are responsible for whatever child miss from his Father, Love and comfort,Do not blame others, thats ultimate cruelty on child. and child will punish you when she grownup and realise what she missed because of you, When you are old.
Not all Husband side think Daughter in law is outsider, thats Daughter in laws thinking. coz for women only her parents are everything, husband has to do everyhting for her family only, if husband old mother do house work then she is happy, but she cannt cook for her in laws, this situation is in todays most of the houses in India.
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17/01/2011 at 3:42 AM #1996AnonymousGuest
child who has been with the mother 24/7 since he/she is born will obviously choose mother to father in case if we ask and if the child is able to speak. (assuming the mother is not cruel to the child). if mother has left her career to take care of the child proves that mother is not cruel. mother and father both have equal role to play in child life.is it right to ask the child who is less than two years to choose between mother and father? and also to take away the child who is still dependend on mother for nurishment.
giving access of child irrespective whether maintenace is given shows that child is not deprived of father love and comfort. Child when he grows up will have his own thinking. who knows how many of us will live that long. even the childrens with normal life and both parents together do not look after their old parents when they grow up. but is it right to expect any thing in return for giving life and upbringing of the child.
different people behave differently in the same situation.
where the husband is in good position and earning well there is no question of mother in law doing house work. what if wife cooks (even though cook is there )but husband and in laws still do not like it.
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17/01/2011 at 5:20 AM #1997AnonymousGuest
Todays children depend on mothers….? or TIN food
I have not seen todays much women breast feed, coz every nook and corner of the country you get AMUL/nestle prodcuts. Todays women more care about their beauty than Child.
Child always take Mother side when small, but i foundout real value of Father when i passed elementry and after that i never felt any need of mother than Father. and i seen other fatherless children struggling lead and live a descent life.
For real Indian Mother cooking for her Children is showing her Love,Her son may be earning in millions still, if she really care for him, she will cook even she is sick. and most of us aft for home food than 5 star.it is said mans heart through food. but when man marry everything changes, todays women do not want to cook….!
sorry sorry they dunno how to cook
They want outside food, they do not want to findout what type of food husband and his family and blame saying in laws do not like her food. and if MIL correct her she will get angry, then everything start to break…
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17/01/2011 at 5:26 AM #1998AnonymousGuest
We are not here to prove who is right and who is wrong.
coz there is support for Modern women, whatever they do is right and all others are wrong. and thats specilay in india. because of Feminists our government try Empower Women by Disempowering Men
if you want to know what Gender equality really means, Read this http://mynation.net/gender-equality.htm and you or any modern women never agree for single word out of it.
Coz you women want to reap where you dont sow.
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18/01/2011 at 6:00 AM #1999AnonymousGuest
not all mothers are fortunate to breast feed their childrens. there can be medical reasons too. eg mother is diabetic depending on medicines/ she is under nurished, she is not able to produce sufficient milk, mother of twins or quadruplicate etc . breast feeding is important in first six months of the childs life. amul/nestle products are suppliment to the mothers milk. even if she is feeding amul/nestle products she is not keeping the child hungry. mother who have breast feeded the child are more beautiful. they loose the unwanted weight they have gained during the pregnancy.
mother and father both are important for a child. you ask the child who has lost his father/mother he can tell better. luv towards child can be expressed in different way not necessarily by cooking. a simple hug without a word is also enough.
there are many man who are not able to eat home food because of their work schedule or travels. some man do not eat at home even though their wife cook just to show their anger.
if man hearts is through stomach. that means woman are different they do not have heart or stomach?? all 5 star hotels have male cooks that prooves man can cook better than woman. nobody is perfect. you can expect a wife to be a very cook she may not have cooking skills. she come from a different back ground. adapting to a different environment does take time. one should also understand that she had left her parents house to stay with you. what if you also help her. is it not right to share the responsibility. what if you both cook and serve your mother for a change. that will show your affection to your mother and also to your wife. this small small changes could have made difference.
modern woman go to work, cook food, manage home, look after childrens, take up their studies. their responsibilities have doubled so what if man share some responsibility. Also remember your mother, sister or daughter are also woman.
two persons can not have same thinking and preferences. so there is bound to be differences of opinions.
wrong or right can be decided by a third person somebody who is unbaised.
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18/01/2011 at 9:15 AM #2000AnonymousGuest
We all growup without nestle/amul TIN food. our mothers are not diabetic even today.
Why todays women only get diabetic and give excuse to breast feed,
coz they like to eat out,
they do not want to cook at home, healthy food.
they want servents.
our mothers even today respect their husbands, and husband gave locker key in his wifes hand, thats LOVE and understanding, today women designed to run away anytime and they have ample excuses and reasons, and they do not have slight respect for them, but they demand Locker key only.
men dont eat at home not to show their anger but wife is failed to cook his type of food and offcourse she did`t cook with Love.
most of the chefs, sorry Famous chefs are men not Women.If women is not capable to find a job or job worth to lead normal life she should learn cooking at least.You are not ashmed to say “she may not have cooking skills”
it is said Kitchen is women domain, at least in india. same i gave my wife 2 option COOK or pay house bills but she cannt do both, coz she never been to kitchen till marriage and she was telling paying bills is husband responsibility.
so women should understand her responsibility 1st before teaching her husband what his responsibility is.
if men and women chnage role man can learn cooking in at least in a month or so, can all women bring money and pay all house bills…?
moral of the story women have all the excuses and men pay the bills only
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18/01/2011 at 9:55 AM #2001AnonymousGuest
this discussion has become quite interesting and entertaining . are you a medical doctor by profession? i am sure answer is ‘NO’. you do not know what is diabetes and its causes and effect
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18/01/2011 at 10:09 AM #2002AnonymousGuest
love and respect is what a woman needs. and she will reciprocate it. problems happens when you have lot of expections. if you have true love you will eat even if she has not cooked properly. and learn by yourself and teach her.
who are you to decided kitchen is womans domain or bedroom is mans domain.
I feel really sorry for you. you really need to change your attitude. that is the reason one gets into problem.
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18/01/2011 at 12:21 PM #2003AnonymousGuest
Rekha
Whatever time you are devoting to argue to support your action of filling Dowry Harrasment cases,Maitenance cases and custody cases on hubby and his family, if you would taken or devoted the same time and energy to reconcile with your hubby before filing the cases on him …
I think your life would have been much better by now.
You are a Post Graduate in Qualification, you can easily maintain yourself and your child,Maintenance is only for those wifes who cannot maintain themselves.Now if you say you can’t maintain yourself even after being a Post Graduate then its a simple bullshit.
Nobody in this world will buy your action of filing cases on maintenance (if you are educated enough to maintain yourself and your child)
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19/01/2011 at 4:18 AM #2004AnonymousGuest
wifes fight is not for her maintenance. it is for child’s maintenance and his right to live the life what he other wise would have led. it is not ‘my’ or ‘your’ child. it should be ‘our’ child. why he should suffer for his fathers actions.
Life now is better than earlier though there are many challanges. life without dignity and self respect is meaningless. tolerating injustice is more grave crime than doing injustice.
if wife/husband do not trust, respect and love each other.there is also no mutual understanding there will always be marital discord. no educated wife will tolerate. Divorce is anyway end result.
if he had repented for his actions and asked for forgiveness, things would have been different.
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19/01/2011 at 4:28 AM #2005AnonymousGuest
YES I am a Docotor but not by profession, but my practice, you can find about my articles on Diabetes here http://mynation.net/tips/
As you define rules for men only saying ” if you have true love you will eat even if she has not cooked properly” that means whatever she women cooked man has to eat, even she burnt it or taste/smell like S**T, why is that why dont you tell women, that she has to cook with LOVE…?
Rules only for men ? why no rules for women.
Where i said bedroom is Mans domain, its every Indian common man says Kitchen is women domain
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19/01/2011 at 4:41 AM #2006AnonymousGuest
Im not sure what dignity you are talking about, you have to ask Indian Common man who has more dignity in society
Married women or Divorced women… and you know the truth.
TRUST will not come by default just because you both married, its build on your sacrfies and deeds towards your partner.
You women expect man to spend on her,buy gold and comfort what you are giving in return…? not even food with Love.
as you wrote correctly, You want him to repent, instead saying i forgive you, coz todays modern Indian woman do not want to forgive,but they wanted to dictate him.
that shows;
To dominate, control and destroy a man`s finance, mental health, self-esteem and any hope for happiness.
and
Todays Indian women want to reap where they dont sow. [ taken from : http://mynation.net/gender-equality.pdf
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19/01/2011 at 5:07 AM #2007AnonymousGuest
diabetic person depending on medicines instead of insulin are not adviced to breast feed the baby for your information.
wife who loves her husband will first taste the food herself and then give it her husband in general. cooking with common sense is more important than cooking with love. trial and error method is how new recipes are invented. people are not born with cooking skills. not everyone is perfect. you may not be good in things in which she is expert. why making cooking a issue.
working (common) women is financially independent to buy what she wants.
“TRUST will not come by default just because you both married, its build on your sacrfies and deeds towards your partner”- i agree what u said. his deeds are no good to be appreciated. what sacrifies he has done?? what about wife?
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19/01/2011 at 5:18 AM #2008AnonymousGuest
what wife wanted she got the child’s maintenance as well as information on 498a case status in these 4 days. it is waste of time and energy to discuss here anymore.
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19/01/2011 at 5:37 AM #2009AnonymousGuest
Im not telling what diabetis person has to do; but my question is how someone will get diabetes even at this young age unless he or she eat outside food, and stick her/his ass in front of TV or gossiping instead doing some house work and expect even underwear washed by others.
and im sure you are around 30 years of age and its too early to be on medicine.
Common sense in cooking is what other want, not what you want to serv. then comes love.
yea true people are not born with cooking skils, but its a shame women is challenged by a man in cooking. and i can challenge any famous CHEFS in cooking and im sure im a MAN.
i did`t born with cooking skills but i mastered it. it takes WILL to learn, you do not want to talk about it coz you do not know cooking for sure.
Let me know what you have given to your husband and i will tell you what he has done for you.
so you got it what you wanted.
and i predicted that before
Todays Indian women want to reap where they dont sow;
instead jo boyega woh kayega.
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05/02/2011 at 1:59 AM #2010AnonymousGuest
@Dsouza
Yes! Child care is a full time job…and father has to pay for maintenance, while the mother is not working even if he is not living with the child…even if the mother is a post graduate or PHD…she has all the right in the world to take a break to raise her child!!
2) Infant care is a mother’s biological role…you can’t fight nature……..unless situation is extreme!!
3) You seem to be quite aggrieved that women don’t like cooking these days!! Who decided that ovaries are cooking organs….?…Bunch of women haters??? How is she disqualifies from her other skills coz she doesn’t like cooking!!
4) Your statistics about 98% of 498A cases are false–what is the source??fabricated lies??…I’ll say 100% women haters writing on forums are liars–don’t ask me the source..unless you come up with authentic sources yourself!!
5) YES…laws need to favor women…because some men had created inequality right from the beginning…who decided that women should sacrifice for everyone and everything in man’s household..??Why do you men think that being a man gives you the license to demand that u need not care for her parents but she owes you and your parents her life’s happiness!!And all of this just because she has ovaries???
..do you know that working women are made to work harder than men, coz they are expected to work at home too…even though they are physically weaker??..You are very fond of fabricating statistics.,,,yeah..98% and all..eh!!!Go find out some statistics on how many men equally share household work if their wives are working too???
6) You hate gender based laws…but you are ok with gender based inequality….as you yourself said women are supposed to cook and wash for men..(maybe even die for them if it were in your hands)……Are you UNAWARE and completely INNOCENT in the matter of gender based inequality……..?????
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08/02/2011 at 10:49 AM #2011AnonymousGuest
well said.. thanks
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09/02/2011 at 5:49 AM #2012AnonymousGuest
Why man has to pay when he do not get even child visitation, as mother think child is her property ?
Even i seen many women refuse to add Fathers names in Child birth cirtificate too (Coz she only knows who is the real Father) but when matter of Child support comes she want money from her husband.
Men have no problem paying child maitenance but she has to show all that money spent on child only… and half of the money she should pay.
In the name of Infant care todays women want money from husband, there are men who take care of child better than women other than breast feed. and todays most women do not brestfeed too because they affaird and care more about their beauty.
i did`t said all women dosnt like to cook. i just said almost all Chefs are men
seach google for 498a misuse and renuka chaudrary and you will get news link what she said. She admited 98% 498a are false and its men time to suffer.
there are study reports and court records where only 2% convicted under 498A.
<B>WHY ? </B>
You said “…because some men had created inequality right from the beginning” so whats other men fault who suffer because of todays gender biased laws. Todays most women think only her brother/Father are saints and all other men are villains.
You women use big Word as sactifies instead house hold responsibility. what sacrifies you do. do not think men get whatever women think sacrified for her husband.
just read this you will get clear idea about what im talking about http://mynation.net/abio/if-i/
yes i know how women are working in India, most of the time they gossip around and waste time. and i also know you are in New jersey and i very well know how women are treated their too. why they have to work at home too, if they pay half of the house BILLS they have right to ask husband for half work.
have you seen in US any reservation for women in public transport ? but we have here in india. thats what we call gender based inequality. that should stop.
last but not least, dont forget to read this http://mynation.net/gender-equality.htm [ GENDER EQUALITY –
Empower Women by Disempowering Men ]
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09/02/2011 at 8:43 PM #2013AnonymousGuest
I don’t understand your twisted logics D’souza….!! You mean if the woman is not earning equal to man..she cannot be treated fairly..!!
So…you mean..if a child has a rich father and a moderate earning/ or not earning mom….and the child can be in mother’s custody…….so the child needs to live in poverty…or do you expect the mother should sell her kidney or something to provide equal money for the child..!!! ..
You really are saying men take better care of child…….I am yet to see a family where father is tending even one-fourth care to the child as the mom is….!!If you are quoting that beauty/breast feeding blog….for generalizing today’s women…should I quote a beastly father’s story to generalize what men are as dads!!Better stop generalizing on some loose blogs..
Yes…child care money should be used for child care only..(mother can do with her maintenance money).!! But if the money is for child’s accomodation…then mom will live in outhouse or what??…..
You are asking whats today’s man’s if earlier men had created inequality…..how innocent is that!..Today’s men are living that inequality, coz it suits them! I am YET TO SEE an Indian household where the tradition of inequality is not followed….Where men work equal hours as women,……give them equal respect…and consider her parents equally worthy respect and care as his own….!!
Send me the link sir for your statistics…dont ask me to search google!
Women working waste time gossiping???..huh!!..I do not know which world you live in…..coz real women WORK..and thats a woman talking to you!
AGAIN the TWISTED LOGIC of PAYING HALF……what do you want-kill women who don’t earn equal to their husbands, YET work equal hours, they deserve NO help at home??…..so she cannot pay half bills, as she is not making equal money–SO?…Its not about paying half……its about capacity and working hours and planning too.
So according to you, again a woman who is earning less than her husband should be killed to over work to match her husband’s earnings and savings…!!…and whatever is the dynamics you are talking about regarding bills…so lets assume her money not used to pay bills, but is saved,…which is later on used to pay for their house down payment or something……is NOT allowed house hold help.
I think ANY working woman deserves equal help from her husband …..which is sadly not the case…same men make their wives over work…..these men shrug off their own share of responsibilities..and deny her maintenance money too..!!
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09/02/2011 at 9:12 PM #2014AnonymousGuest
And please….when I say equal hours of work….it means understanding that physical work and mental work are NOT same…it does NOT mean 8 hours of office work needs to be equated with 8 hours of physical work at home…..lets understand that household physical labor is more tiring, monotonous and laborious than sitting in an air-conditioned office job……
For housewives and working husbands—-8 hours of office job is equal to fewer hours of work at home(coz physical work is more tiring)…….and like men, women need breaks and holidays etc……and few hours absolutely free for themselves…when they are not catering to family members demands.
For women who work outside…….their husbands should not deposit their backs on couches, while wives are busy cooking dinners..!!
And when you marry, you share your wealth equally…thats the basic thing….if you don’t like to share YOUR money with some-one who is earning less than you…..simply DON’T marry a woman who is making less!!…(but dont expect one sided slavery….. !)…..and if you are soooooo proud of making bigger bucks than her, that ypu are able to provide more than her-trust me you’ll face the music soon!…..Aap zaada kamaate hain …..isliye equality nahi chaahiye..ghar ka kaam nahi karnaa…..usko baraabar nahi samajhnaa under pretext of male ego/customs etc….to theek hai- fir paise bharo for the times you have lived with her…she will take her share atleast while going-if she couldnt take it while she was living with you!
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10/02/2011 at 8:03 AM #2015AnonymousGuest
Todays world women cannt earn money to live normaly ?
They have all opertunities and government schemes if they wish they can get jobs and earn well. i have sisters and cousins too, they all earn and indepent and even some girls earn more than their brothers. do not tell century old indian stories OK.
so far you have`t seen a man take care of his child, here is one read this http://mynation.net/abio/oil-massage/
read this “Karan Thapar: If 98 per cent of the cases brought under the dowry laws, as I told you, turn out to be false – according to statistics given by the Centre for Social Justice – if the Supreme Court itself has opined on the subject roughly at the same time last year, I am sure you don’t need to add to the bad laws by creating more. ” [ Ref : http://ibnlive.in.com/news/ill-empower-women-chowdhury/26051-3-0.html ]
if women expect equal house work from husband then she should pay half household bills too, thats EQUALITY as per me.
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10/02/2011 at 8:09 AM #2016AnonymousGuest
Men dont marry women for money, todays most marriages are Dowry less nor girl side gives anyhting to men. but today women one they married to men they say.
mai roti bhelne ke liye faida nahi hui.
Im not your Slave to do your House work.
I never been to Kitchen in my Fathers house.
Hamare ghar mai naukar the….
these are common words.
if today women do not want to cook at husband home, let them run the house, many men are happy to cook.
unfortunatly that also they cannt do.
and most earning women do not give money to pay bills. if they deposite thats ok Man should not deposit as per Feminists.
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11/02/2011 at 8:16 AM #2017AnonymousGuest
I think you have not seen the world enough Mr Dsouza!! You really think in all the marriages earning capacity of men and women is same.? When men follow women…they are driven by their beauty and want her to marry them(even if she is NOT earning equal..they cant control their urges to marry beautiful, decorative women)…make all the marital promises……..when all they want is a decorative maid servant, and if she doesn’t earn equal to him (which if you have ANY awareness of statistics, as you go overboard in claiming, you will know that its NOT necessary that equal earning people get married)…..they start exploiting her like evil zamindaars exploited slaves…..according to them, to keep par with him–she has to earn equal , and if she cannot ………she has to make up by working extra hard at home…while they can enjoy in couches and make her dance to their tunes….!!! You think men are innocent creatures…they are manipulative people…who want the best of both worlds….while choosing the conveniently convoluted logics…like some of your own logics Mr Dsouza…!!!
Ha !! So You THINK……equal hours is NOTHING…..if she cannot earn equal…EXPLOIT her to the core because poor thing has committed a crime of marrying a guy earning higher than her!!(YOU ARE living in a world of delusion if YOU think all marriages are between people who earn equal..ask men their choices…!!)
And YOU dont quote rare incidences, as general representation ..OK!!
and you think men dont marry women for money and dowry…which world are you living in??almost EVERY one expects dowry…and almost people are disappointed with what they get while they compare themselves to others….!! You think women are evil and men are made of pure gold…..you really are so oblivious to the evil nature of man that is going from bad to worse??
I am glad women say all that stiff………if men think they are slaves …..good they give it back to them. “Many men are happy to cook”…excuse me …how many….and have you heard of dividing chores…how many men fairly divide the chores…talk about numbers …go carry a survey ..you’ll be ashamed of the laziness and mean-ness of your gender , you still havent answered ..if women work equal hours-how much housework sharing are they entitled to..??
“Many women do not give money to pay bills”…Pray tell me what happens to that money eventually…who benefits…her papa? her mummy? her boyfriend?………which world are you living in?? I know men who use their wives earnings to purchase properties…..!!! …….Earnings ghar mei aati hain to ghar mei hee use hoti hain…most women don’t eat up or keep it aside to build a gold graveyard for theimeselves of their money! dont men enjoy that beneit of financial security??
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13/02/2011 at 8:15 AM #2018AnonymousGuest
I seen more countries than you, and every city in India,you may be fly only between India and US only.
// When men follow women…they are driven by their beauty and want her to marry them(even if she is NOT earning equal..they cant control their urges to marry beautiful, decorative women)…
Women are too clever to seduce/trap men with their inch thick makeup, if these men see them early morning without makeup, they will forget marrying her, or any women unless they find her attractive without makeup.same crude truth from you. (decorative women) rightly said.
you know for last 10 years Divorce arte in India jumped 40% from 5% because of your type of mentality and Legal Terrorism by women.You women do not want to take house responsibility(if not working) they think men going to office/work for party. Travelling to work in Bombay/Delhi/Calcutta/Bangalore is BIG headache than working whole day.
There is nothing manipulative in men, if women understand her duty and responsibility towards family.
I can show thousands men who did`t got anything from his wife, including me, unfortunalty my wife bought her 2 Dogs(BITCH)s too, and now its my responsibility to raise them too.
//Many women do not give money to pay bills”…Pray tell me what happens to that money eventually…who benefits…her papa? her mummy? her boyfriend ?………
Yes she spends on her family and another truth from you [her boyfriend] haha
thank you for the many hidden truths, we know all this.
You know men purchase property from wife money….! but i know many women send husband money to her parents, and on any occasion in her house her husband has to give expensive gifts her relatives, they will occupy his home, her sister/brothers stay permanently and work/study and he has no right to say anything than just pay their bills.even some Brother in laws use his cloths/shoes too.
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17/02/2011 at 7:54 PM #2019AnonymousGuest
Dr. D’Souza, every post by you in this thread is very well said.
Every comment of Human being and Rekha displays what the women are these days. They are ARGUMENTATIVE and JUDGEMENTAL. That’s all. What they say is RIGHT, no matter what they say. Marriages are falling apart because Indian women wants to live like western women, but she does not want to fulfill her duties liek western women. Western women are very smart and active they cook, they clean, they take care of their kids, they respect their husband, on top of it they work too. Husband does the same. But in our society women is abla naari dukhiaari who brings dukh to everybody. I think it should be fixed now. In schools we need introduce one more subject and that is “Anger management” Women are behaving like this only out of anger and then to maintain that anger they behave foolishly.
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18/02/2011 at 6:20 AM #2020AnonymousGuest
this anger management subject should be thought alongwith social ethics to both the genders. country can never progrss without women being educated. Educated women knows her rights and have courage to fight back against any injustice done to her. man who has done injustice will have to face consequences( same with women)
“But in our society women is abla naari dukhiaari who brings dukh to everybody”-
that means if you keep you woman happy, she will keep everyone happy… so why make women unhappy and make yourself and your family also unhappy.
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20/02/2011 at 6:58 AM #2021AnonymousGuest
Rekha;
if man keep his women happy what she will do in return….?
as a women.
can you define responsibility of India women towards her husband/home ?
and these responsibilities man should not get paying less from servents/outsiders than what he spend on his wife.
Please name some.
and also let us know what to do to a women who run away with all husband property which he made in her name even after he spend all most all his salary on her, buy property in her name,gold, and insurence. and at last occupy his house and get restrain order from court.
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21/02/2011 at 10:47 AM #2022AnonymousGuest
marriage is for companionship and to have family. instead of saying responsibility towards husband/wife it is should be responsibility towards family then there will be no such issue. . eg. she cooks and you take up studies of your childrens/get groceries. if wife earns the income of her will be used for family expenses. your wife or you will not take family property with you when you die. if you give respect and love the same you will get in return. when you love you give everything and when you hate you take everything or just stop giving????? when there is marital discord and it is impossible for partners to stay together, cannot make compromises and change themselves atleast for the sake of childrens then it is better to part with due respect. due respect can also mean giving her financial assistance to sustain her life (if she is not been working)& childs life. I cannot judge what circumstances made her run(leave your house) but it would have been avoided if you had talked with her and resolved her grieviances. life is very small.. and we have one life to live.
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21/02/2011 at 11:16 AM #2023AnonymousGuest
Indian society / Law teach responsibilities only to man.
he has to do this and that his wife, if you go to any book shop, you will find hundreds of books/articles
about women,
how to win her heart
How to treat her;
How to seduce her
and you hardly find any or very few about man; how to treat a man.
i dont understand why you are saying agains and again that man has to support his wife.when she do not want him why she want his money. they have to part mutually, but hardly few women do this, they all harass him, even they know in some cases they will not win and they have free legal support they sue him.
its father responsibility to share half of the child support, or she cannt bare half she has to hand over child to father instead fighting. but how many women do this.
coz they want money in the name of child too.
as you bringup my matter in this thread, i wanted my marriage to long last, even after 10 years of my fight in divorce, just before final verdict, i called her after tracing her number.
i hardly pronounce word PLEASE.
still i said Please come back.
you know what she said…
If i call again she will report it to police and never dream that she will come back.
i was not pathetic or leading miserable life, i was earning 10 times more than what i was earning when she was with me.
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22/02/2011 at 5:15 AM #2024AnonymousGuest
one has no control on another person’s behaviour/action. Human nature is very complex. it is not human but even in animals or bird you can see male trying to get attention/attract female for reproduction. so it is natural instict. parting is very painful and i can see the frustration in you. and more when you have kid. Kid is not a property of mother or father. In the early years of child it is mother who is in better position to take care. you cannot defy nature. ( see the animals and birds aroung you). child will not want to live the mother unless she is been very cruel. it is not right to take away the child suddenly. what is wrong if you let child live with the mother and you have visitation rights. in this way the child will have both mother and father in his life. and because the child is also yours you too are responsibile for paying your share. your wife is also contributing towards welfare not in terms of money by taking care. you did whatever you can to save this marriage you said PLEASE. one cannot force anyone to stay with you for whatever reason. may be she is not happy with you at all. you may not be compatible . move on in your life instead of living in past. money is needed to sustain life. but there are people who have too much money but do not have peace . instead of expecting one positive step from your wife. why not you take the first step and give her what ever support she needs at the moment. after all she is mother of your child. believe me you will not loose anything. you will be out of all the problems very soon. get well soon….
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22/02/2011 at 6:19 AM #2025AnonymousGuest
Show me one Indian women file petition to force Father to visit child at least once in a month.
coz 101% women give all false statements and evidence to avoid Father.
coz they know, if Father is allowed to visit, sooner than later she will lose the child.
there are better fathers than mother.
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22/02/2011 at 7:55 AM #2026AnonymousGuest
I do not know about others, I have no intention of depriving child of his fathers love and affection irrespective of child support given, I have other ways to get the childs right for maintenance without effecting visitation rights.
there will be many such women who are law abiding citizens.
many of the father gets remarried after divorce and they give up visitation rights after they have there own childrens. why will he make his present wife and childrens insecure.
one or two visits cannot manupulate child’s mind to leave his mother. it is irrelevent who is better as long as child himself wishes to live with his mother. Child will not remain child all his life. He will have his own thought process and after he grows up if he desires to be with his father. why should anyone stop. if you cannot stop your wife/husband leaving you same way you cannot stop child leaving you. but forcefully taking and fraudulantely taking is wrong.
if women is giving false statement and evidence you have every right to prove/defend your self if you are not guilty.
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22/02/2011 at 8:47 AM #2027AnonymousGuest
Rekha_S
U have written that in many cases father remarries, but there r other way around cases also. I know personally cases in which there was legal battle for child custody and lady got custody of the child. But after 2 years lady remarried and kid was sent to orphanage. When father came to know about that then he got child custody.
In most of the cases even visitation rights of father is contested and I totally agree with Dr.Dsouza that in most of the cases mother never want visitation rights given to father.
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22/02/2011 at 8:52 AM #2028AnonymousGuest
Very few Father deny givingup visitation rights. and women affraid becuase child will know that truth from father which she told about him, as most mothers tell all BAD things about father. when Child grownup even child will not go to Father but start hating mother because of all her lies. there justice delivered by child.
We have many members who fought for custody and still fighting, if you think all men are like your husband then you are wrong.
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22/02/2011 at 9:30 AM #2029AnonymousGuest
if women denies visitation rights. you can always initiate legal action. need of companion will always be there whether you have childrens or not. if a woman desires to remarry does not mean that you take the custody of the child. if her present partner accepts the child also why should she send the child to orphanage why not to the father. there will be some problem. we cannot understand unless we know the actual facts.
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22/02/2011 at 11:02 AM #2030AnonymousGuest
Rekha;
it is very easy to say ” if women denies visitation rights you can always initiate legal action”.
but in indian courts there is no remedy or man cannt take any action because of judges attitude.
coz i myself gone through this.
for 5 years judge just gave dates after date without giving any intrim visitation then at last he said Father has not met child for 5 years, and petition dismissed without any remedy.
Indian Law and judges know very well how to harass men.
They gives next hearing dates as women asked but if man ask they dont listen.
If women do not go to court judge will not take any action, if man is not present they threaten to dismiss case or pass order exparte against him.
if women marry second time and her 2nd husband never take care of other mans child for sure. if he marry may be for something else
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22/02/2011 at 11:15 AM #2031AnonymousGuest
Child was send to orphanage as this was condition of marriage of lady and child was not send to his biological father only for sadistic pleasure. She does not wanted her husband to enjoy. Now both kid and his father are happy. Child is only 6 years old but his father is taking full responsibility. This is stupid to say that only mother can take care of kids and not father.
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23/02/2011 at 4:47 AM #2032AnonymousGuest
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23/02/2011 at 10:16 AM #2033AnonymousGuest
how is this father managing 6 months toddler without working? who does the household chores?any of his relatives are with him to take care of the baby?. there are mothers who die during child birth. their childrens are raised by relatives of father who are there with him for support. rarest of rare cases that mother abondons the child. you cannot prove anything by one still photo of man feeding a baby.
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23/02/2011 at 11:11 AM #2034AnonymousGuest
this is to show, men also take care of the child, when women is there or not. or if she dies.
some women just boast only women can take care of child.
Man in the photo work in the office and after coming home take care of the child too.
but no one count man struggle reaching office and home travelling by train/bus standing 2 hours daily.
working 8 hours without any rest when women sleep at home in the afternoon or when child sleep
and when man comes home.
“ye lle thera bachcha, sambal” and watch TV serials on Zee/Sony.
this is the story of most men of India.
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24/02/2011 at 6:25 AM #2035AnonymousGuest
this is not the story of most of the men of india for sure. do not go extremes.
you talk about women who are homemakes/housewife. what about working woman??
“but no one count WOman’s struggle reaching office and home travelling by train/bus standing 2 hours daily.
working 8 hours without any rest when MAN DO NOT DO ANY THING BUT ONLY WATCH SPORT/NEWS AT HOME IN THE EVENING”
In fact this is the story of most of the women. see you will find hundreds of such woman in your neighbourhood itself.
Raising a child, managing home, cooking is not a easy task with out help. and for many of the man it is thankless job. no woman (including wife/mother/sister/daughter)will like to live with a man who does not respect woman(wife/mother/sister/daughter) leave aside love. Because of this attitude, many man land up in problems and distroy their family.
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24/02/2011 at 6:50 AM #2036AnonymousGuest
Rekha_S,
I have written 6 years not 6 months. Pl. read properly before replying
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24/02/2011 at 7:12 AM #2037AnonymousGuest
Ok fine. how is this father managing 6 years baby without working? who does the household chores?any of his relatives are with him to take care of the baby? how long the child is with the mother & father??.there are mothers who die during child birth. their childrens are raised by relatives of father who are there with him for support. RAREST OF RARE cases that mother abondons the LIGITIMATE child. you cannot prove anything by one still photo of man feeding a baby. even grandfather/brother can feed the baby so.
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24/02/2011 at 7:24 AM #2038AnonymousGuest
Working women…
ask their husband how many such women spend all their salary for house. like men.
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24/02/2011 at 7:42 AM #2039AnonymousGuest
why should husband and wife not have economic freedom for how to spend their respective income as long as the need for household expenses/childs welfare/furture investments are taken care off.
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24/02/2011 at 7:43 AM #2040AnonymousGuest
dont tell me how difficult cooking work is.
when i was bachelor. i used to cook and finished before 9AM.
not just dal/rasam/sambar
but one dal and vegitable dish or fish curry or chicken
laundry was finished when i take bath itself
and cleaning / mobing will take another 30 minutes
in same house when my bitterhalf came, she used to tel it take one whole day, sometimes when i come home in the evening she was still running here and there.
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24/02/2011 at 7:44 AM #2041AnonymousGuest
yea they should have economic freedom, but people talk only when man dont give money to run home.
no one tell anyhting if working women is not giving.
if man ask her, thats cruelty on her right ?
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24/02/2011 at 8:08 AM #2042AnonymousGuest
work was divided according to conveniance in the olden days as needs were limited and various other reason. in modern times, with the increase of cost of living and need for good education it has become necessary for most of partners to contribute income. if both partners are working then both should share responsibility based on conveniance. but does this actually happens. problems happens when you have lot of expections from the other partner. why should you not accept the persons with all the limitations. if she cannot cook why don’t you teach her cook with love or you cook for her. see the difference. no one is perfect. think positively.
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24/02/2011 at 8:12 AM #2043AnonymousGuest
ONLY cooking is not difficult. it is difficult to person who cannot cook. why cooking be a issue in marriage.
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24/02/2011 at 8:18 AM #2044AnonymousGuest
Even wife is working husband has to give her cloths/gold and other things if he dont give she will publish it everyone.
her salry is not enough for her makeup /cloths and outings. if husband ask anyhthing it will be starting point of III world war.
haha what a joke, she did`t learnt cooking for 25 years from her mother will any women learn it from husband.
when this issue comes you very easily tell no one is perfect, but every women expect man to be perfect and pay her bills on TIME.
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24/02/2011 at 8:29 AM #2045AnonymousGuest
Ms Rekha, i’ve been following this thread of yours, your words are so profound. Give me your mobile no so that i can call u to make u aware of the reality.
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24/02/2011 at 9:21 AM #2046AnonymousGuest
Mr. kutikakhasam u can express in this thread what you want to say instead of calling me.
girls or boys are raised equally nowadays not that they are born girl so they should cook. no matter how much she learns she has to adapt to the cooking style of matrimonial home where MIL, FIL and others also reside. tastes and preferences differ from individual to individual.
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24/02/2011 at 9:28 AM #2047AnonymousGuest
yea but my bitter half born 35 years back and still did
t knew how to handle needle forget cooking. and there were no FIL/MIL in my house. nor i did
t asked her cook like my motheryou have to have WILL to learn, my mother did`t told me how to cook.
dont tell me my case one in million, if one man can do this then there will be million men like this.
i can handle needle to IBM super compter why not other women, that include you too Rekha.
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24/02/2011 at 9:31 AM #2048AnonymousGuest
cooking was my hobby. I learnt just by seeing and helping my mom cook and some times i learned by chance through books and internet. my mom never took cooking class for me to learn. I also used to experiment and first taste myself and give to my hubby if only it is tasty. although we had cooks but still i was not a good cook.
so I am not a good wife???
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24/02/2011 at 9:33 AM #2049AnonymousGuest
everyone is not genius like Dr. Dsauza
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24/02/2011 at 9:33 AM #2050AnonymousGuest
ppl say “mans heart through his stomach”
u rightly said Rekha ” u r not a good wife” may be.
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24/02/2011 at 9:36 AM #2051AnonymousGuest
genius…!
no its common sense;
sense of good family.
i can say, i learn because i wanted to catch her cooking and find faults haha
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24/02/2011 at 9:39 AM #2052AnonymousGuest
Today my son likes what ever i cook for him I am the best cook. why am i not the best cook for my hubby??
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24/02/2011 at 9:44 AM #2053AnonymousGuest
men can win woman’s heart through stomach too. but when you are married you donnot only need not only heart but soul too.( wife and husband)
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24/02/2011 at 9:46 AM #2054AnonymousGuest
relations do not improve by critising or demoralising. learn to appreciate efforts.
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24/02/2011 at 9:48 AM #2055AnonymousGuest
son has no option, ask same question when he get marry, if he still says u r best cook, his life also like your husband, no doubt. you will know this only when you get a competitor a BAHU.
you mean to say man has to cook for his wife after coming back from work and she just lay around and watch TV ?
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24/02/2011 at 9:49 AM #2056AnonymousGuest
you mean to say, man has to praise women even she burnt food or break things.
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24/02/2011 at 10:04 AM #2057AnonymousGuest
who knows what will happen in future? why do you want to spoil present thinking of future.
my (our) child will have his own destiny. I am(we) are not raising our child with a hope that he will give something in return when he grows up. why should we be so selfish??
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24/02/2011 at 10:37 AM #2058AnonymousGuest
i was delighted to know who have a son.
coz as per current trend, when your son grownup, he has to cook for his wife, as you fight for that now. then you will realise what went wrong, as of now many old women curse todays girls.
dont worry you will get your turn.
it is said, if you sow thorns, it will be under your foot 1st
LONG LIVE FEMINISM.
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24/02/2011 at 11:01 AM #2059AnonymousGuest
I will be happy to see my son cook food for his wife if I am alive till then. if my father and brother also cook at times so what if my hubby or my son also cook. FYI cooking was not the issue at all in our marriage. I am not a Feminist. read my earlier comments to know what went wrong in our marriage, I believe stitch in time will save time and money. if you cannot live together in harmony better go for separation instead of filing cases on each other. but only after all attempts to save marriage is done. normal wear and tear is there in any relationship. why should the child suffer????
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24/02/2011 at 11:23 AM #2060AnonymousGuest
seperation / divorce you have to think before child birth.
thats what im asking
why should the child suffer ????
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25/02/2011 at 3:28 AM #2061AnonymousGuest
before child birth everything is ok and what if problems happens after child birth??? you mean to say bear all the atrocities because you are now mother?? why can’t the father be in the limits fearing the consequences it will have to his loved one.
why does a man marry? can you answer?
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25/02/2011 at 8:28 AM #2062AnonymousGuest
don’t marry then and have no childrens.. you will have no commitments and no problems.
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04/03/2011 at 5:17 AM #2063AnonymousGuest
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14/03/2011 at 4:33 PM #2064AnonymousGuest
nice info, thanks
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14/03/2011 at 4:39 PM #2065AnonymousGuest
the complainant need not be present in 498a. the police and judicial officers have to run the case. it is the state that has to run the case.
the complainant can file DV etc. from her home town.
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