I’m from your Neighboring district. That is Mangalore. A true and 100% Mangalorean, but settled in Bangalore due to work and family. Just some time back read this on internet –
I agree with you. most of the girls do not wish to stay with in- laws because of fear or insecurity. In India each family is different. I might not have grown up in the same way you have grown up. When marriage takes place ( especially in arranged marriage) for initial few months everyone will slog to get a costumed and adjust to new family. It takes some time for them to adjust to the new family.
In simple way I can say that In- laws will have their own way of living and newly married girl may not like to follow what they do. This may lead to misunderstanding and loss of peace of mind. Instead of living in tension every day don’t you think it is better to live separately and stay connected?
I’m just saying my opinion. You are free to express yours!