if she does not turn up on 31st march, 2011, that will be the end of this marriage. so think twice about implication of your action. think about the kids be nice to her if you want her and kids with you. you cannot have control of another persons behaviour. you cannot force anyone to like or dislike. she will also think in the same direction if you are not cruel towards her.
Helping parents at difficult times is not wrong. that way you will also win their confidence and gain respect. that does not mean that you are supposed to maintain her parents also. have a healthy conversation with her family. parents will not be forever. money is also not everything. think about the kids future.