Reply To: Size matters ?

The published public opinion, especially the female published opinion, is wrong in its assessment on why men are concerned about the size of their penises. The public published opinion, and views held publicly by female commentators on the matter, assume that men are concerned about the size of their penises on the basis of a rather childish attitude… just like when eight-year-old boys try a far arc while urinating, and then boast about it.

The common published opinion tends to belittle the concern of men about penis size. An example is the following remark of sex adviser Ruth Westheimer, quoted from the TIME cover story of May 4, 1998: “Even if a man has an erection from floor to ceiling and can keep it that way for an hour, it will not be pleasurable for a woman if he is not sexually literate.”

This is making ridicule out of a serious concern.

Of course, until recently, all sex therapists could offer men with insufficient erections, or a small penis, was some consolation of the above kind.

Published opinion may be quite different from the opinion held privately by people who are represented by a specific general published opinion. The publishing trade has its own rules on what opinions may be offered in public. The motto of a major US publication used to be (or still is): All the news that’s fit to print. (Not: All the news that’s true.)

And in the opinion of newspaper editors, it’s not fit to say that penis size is of importance when assessing the qualities of a man.

Sorry, but size does matter. And men would probably not be concerned about size, if they wouldn’t have learned from intimate experience that it’s important. They learn it from their female sexual partners when discussing sexual matters. When they engage in sexual talk with their female partners, many men will be confronted with women’s fantasies in which rather large-sized male organs play a role. It’s not common that women’s fantasies center on disfigured, under-sized, or flaccid male organs.

It may be true that most women who do experience orgasms experience them clitoral. My own experience is that more than 90 percent of all women are much easier to bring to an orgasm through clitoral stimulation than through vaginal penetration. However, there are women who prefer to be brought to an orgasm through vaginal penetration, and in such cases, sufficient size, sufficient rigidity, and sufficient staying power are absolutely necessary. Sexual technique is a distant fourth. Usually, woman who can experience vaginal orgasms will anyway apply their own technique.

Furthermore, when it comes to vaginal orgasms, no one single technique fits all women. Some prefer quick short thrusts from below, others rather have it from behind. Often, women who can experience vaginal orgasms like to do the moving, and prefer a static man.

While clitoral orgasms result in rhythmic contractions of the pelvic area, including the vagina, there often is a magic additional component in vaginal orgasms: a ballooning of the Grafenberg area (the front vaginal wall near the vaginal opening), and a move forward of the cervix. Both these reactions can exert an expelling pressure on the inserted penis. A marvelous experience, available probably only to men with a sufficiently large penis.

But even among women who can be brought to an orgasm through clitoral stimulation, the idea of big, hard penises plays a major role in their fantasies. The stimulation may be clitoral, but the fantasies that are absolutely necessary to make clitoral stimulation an orgasmic success may still center on penetration… and usually on penetration by a large male organ.

While the editors of periodicals anywhere around the world may only be willing to touch the topic of penis size in a manner that ridicules the concern, penis size clearly is a major aspect when it comes to the qualities of a man as a sexual lover.

By:Serge kreutz