Reply To: Kindly suggest and help my Brother!

Welcome Forums Miscellaneous Marital Problems Kindly suggest and help my Brother! Reply To: Kindly suggest and help my Brother!


>a fact very well known and acceptable to them at the time of marriage

– Trust me, these are the exact dramas women do. It’s very tough to understand drama queens. They think they can convince the husband once they are married. If the husband yields, she is successful. If not, she will use everything in her power to break the joint family or relation between son and parents. In the process she does not know what she is loosing. And by the time she realizes, it would be too late.

>and we lost a very good chance to record her ill-doings

– You cannot change the gene pool. Give her another opportunity and she will repeat it again as long as she is unaware that it’s recorded.

>my brother is very firm NOT TO bring her back at all and is ready to give up the child too. He’s saying she’s not worth leaving my family for and what guarantee is there that she will not be going to her parents anymore

– He is tribally disturbed. Please don’t leave him alone and give him lot of confidence and explain that you and your parents are with him. And please, stick together. Don’t let information leak.

>Though if you can suggest, is there anyway we can get the child?

– At this time, do not worry about the kid. It’s not tough to get a fair visitation and custody. But no court will grant sole physical and legal custody to dad when mom is not willing to give away the rights. If you can prove that mom is not capable of handling the kid (which is tough), there is likely chance that your brother might get custody. Emotionally and ethically you got to think that it’s not fair to separate a kid from mom. I also have a feeling that she is abusing the kid to get your brothers attention (which is wrong). But this is entirely a different case which I believe can be prioritize once you take care of other issues.

>Though I was of the opinion to bring her back and collect every possible evidence, my brother is totally against it. He fears for our aging parents.

– He has no confidence in her. This is what you got to worry about. Talk to a lawyer and see if you can get AB first. Once you get it, you can think of getting her and collecting evidence slowly. I some how feel that “evidence and AB” is a chicken and egg issue. You got to plan it properly to execute. There are cases that I have read where AB is granted when your neighbors vouch for your statements. The top priority for you is to make sure that you and your family don’t see being labeled as accused. Cops, jail and 498a is a biggest scandal in this country.

>I wanted to know that is there any time limit to file 498a. coz it’s been almost a month since she’s gone to her parents and has not file any complaint as yet.

– There is absolutely no time frame. This is directly proportional to the sadism of the women and the factors (her parents and those who coach her) governing her. Once she signs the document, the cop has to register it. He does it immediately without looking into details to save his ass. The cop too knows that most of the cases are false and will fail in court. But thanks to our law makers and feminists who wrote this law that can only break the family but not fix it. So you got to play by rules for your safety.

>We know that she wants to come back but her terms are not acceptable to my brother.

– This is a good opportunity to record all her conversation. Involve her parents and their elders too in the conversation. All of you got to make sure they show their true colors. Over a period of time during conversation someone or the other will start threaten with 498a and false allegations. Now, do you know what to do?

>She and her parents are facing social wrath and ridicule as to why the are keeping their married daughter and her son at home.

– See if you can get their statements. That will help you a lot in long run. All I say is you got to prepare your ground work.

>In fact, her father told one of the relatives that we’ll make her do some job and she’ll take care of her son

– Most of such useless talk is to make sure that these relatives carry that information to you. So that you become restless. So play cool and don’t let someone feel your pulse. Look around, most of the relatives act as free messengers. Be smart in using some free service. You know what I am saying?

Also if she wants to be self sufficient to support herself and her son, then let her be and don’t stop her. There is a famous saying, “an empty mind is a devils workshop”. If she does not use her energy for productive purpose (like getting a job) she will do it for destructive purpose.

>Any other way of putting pressure on them?

– Collect evidence, get AB and use RCR. You got to be patient until you get AB. Once they know you have AB, they will stop threatening and automatically start thinking what is to be done in the best interest of their daughter.

~ James.