These are old mails exchanged between members of our group and their views on Wife Wants Reunion.
I am reposting it as many ask me to take back their wife or not.
These are our views, from men point of views, we are not sure what Wife/Women think after runaway from Husband house and file 498a or DV.
I seen many Women who has kids are not married second time, as if they want sex they can get any time with blink of an eye. and most are getting money in the name of Child custody and Alimony.
And those who are Working also never planning to get marry again, coz husband is hurdle if they want to flirt in Working place.
and as per me, Most women file 498A/DV knowingly and willingly, coz thats the only Way to their FREEDOM with the support of Law and sympathy from Public.

Read below others views
==
SSWS Wrote ==

I do not mean to hurt all those who commented on this forum earlier to my query but i must and should express what i have in my mind as below. (The view point expressed by every one earlier is accepted and well taken but there is other side too)
1) I am active on the ground level in this fight against 498A and I have dealt with many cases (More than 1000) of suffering persons in the
past 4 years. I found most of the cases were due to ill advise or lack of good advise to both husband and the wife and also that the husband side is under a FEAR of 498A due to which their own life is shattered. (ofcourse there are many cases where the wife is a real vamp too but not all of them are)
2) The REAL PROBLEM OF INDIAN MEN IS NOT THE BIASED LAWS BUT THE FEAR. YES YOUR FEAR IS YOUR MAIN PROBLEM. DAR KE AGE JEET HAI FITS HERE.
AADMI HO TO SIRF BIWI SE KYON LADTE HO APNE KHUD KE DAR SE , POLICE SE AUR SAMNE WALE VAKIL SE LADO.
3) Jo dar gaya woh mar gaya also fits here.
4) Imagine what if you and your parents are not afraid of the police or the courts, you will not at all suffer and no one can ever threaten you or even file false cases, So if you are not afraid of 498A you do not have any problems at all. Your problems are over once you overcome your FEARS.
5) On this forum we preach that people should punish their wife for the wrong doings, but u forget that you also punish your children and yourself along with the punishment you give to your wife. At the same time u also punish your old parents. you end up punishing your own side due to the fault of the system (Police, Judges and Lawyers)
6) Why should you punish anyone (wife or children or FIL, MIL) for the corrupt and useless judicial system. I say you should punish them for a pretty long time (4-5 years maybe) but not forever. False 498A is a crime but it does not deserve a punishment more severe than capital punishment. And the best part is that you want to punish yourself too for the fault of the false system and that too for ever. This is funny.
7) See I do not at all support false 498A women or for that matter the lady who wants to re-unite in this case, but what I am trying to say is that , we men have forgotten our own inner strength, we are full of fears which compounds our own problems. What is the problem if the 498A women (only those who are really repenting) is willing to take MCD and then is willing to start living again with
her divorced husband. She has agreed to MCD for the safety of her husband and mainly to close the doors on the judicial system. She is tired of the judicial system herself and that is why she is willing to take MCD. Now no body on this forum is willing to look at this point and everybody has their preset negative reactions WHY = BECAUSE OF THE FEAR of 498A.
I do not mean to hurt anyone’s feelings here but i am sure that i have the right to write what i have written above and I am sure that our forum needs to look into this angle too as the name of our forum suggests.

==
SANJAY wrote ==

It is very easy to say don’t reunite with your wife. But the answers are never simple and one solution does not fit all.

I have noticed that a lot of women file cases to satisfy their egos and their parents egos and then regret at leisure. Especially women who have children. Income drops, husband’s support which seemed like a burden earlier vanishes, expenses on lawyers and courts take money, parents may not support them forever. Social ostracism, gossip and snide comments from neighbours, friends and relatives take a toll. Bringing up a child without support and little hope of a new relationship causes stress. Etc etc etc.

To forget everything that has happened and begin life again is easier said than done. The trust factor is gone and may or may not happen again. The fear of new cases is not a great risk as the woman has probably gone through a tough time with the earlier cases itself. But yet there are no guarantees.

Ultimately it depends entirely on the husband and wife. The plus side is that the child will have a secure home and there is a chance of forgiveness on both sides. The down side is that the relationship may not revive even if the marriage survives and no more cases take place.

But, in the end if you go through a divorce and then marry again, what is the guarantee that you will not have similar problems in the next marriage.

So take a deep breath and evaluate what you see today. Is your wife genuinely sorry for the damage that she has inflicted. If she is then it probably does not matter what her parents want. But take it easy and don’t jump in at the deep end. Take it easy and let the relationship repair over a period of 6 months. That would give you the necessary time to evaluate, forgive and maybe find a new equation. During this time, date her, take her out for weekends but let her stay at her parents house. If she is genuinely sorry, then she will wait patiently. If she is eager to start living with you instantly, then her attitude is suspect.

You are missing the point. One answer does not fit every situation of marital dispute. Marital disputes by their very nature are grey with few shades of black and white. That is why taking a decision as drastic as divorce is so difficult for man or woman.

I am also going through 498a, DVA, divorce, custody etc in a situation which is more complicated than you can imagine. But it is your faith in yourself which is the most important element in these situations. And faith in yourself can also be reflected in being able to evaluate whether your wife is genuinely sorry for the damage caused and wants to make an honest go of the marriage or not.

I have never advocated that a man’s self respect is less important than his spouse’s. But self respect is not a flag to be hoisted in any or all situations. Otherwise it is nothing but a reaction of your ego.

If an opportunity arises where making a new start with your wife is a distinct possibility, then exploring the same is common sense. The effort which you would put in to making a new relationship work would be much more than saving and reviving the old relationship. Like I said, the plus side is the security to the children, easy access to your children, end to going to courts etc etc. The downside is that the relationship with your wife may never revive with mutual love and respect, even if the marriage survives. But then life does not come with guarantees.

I had counselled a friend and his wife ( who are also going through similar cases ) about seeking a long date for their various cases and using the time for pressure free dating and reviving their relationship, to decide at the end of 6 months which direction they want their life to go. But, unfortunately in some cases, by the time the girl comes around to trying to save her marriage, her life situation at her parent’s house or where ever she is living has reached a crisis point and the pressures to get back together or divorce is unbearable. Girl’s parents in these cases are criminally responsible for some heart rending stories of pressure to divorce and hurt the husband through lack of child access. Sadly a lot of girls make their parents agendas their own despite sane counsel to the contrary.

The common mistake that most people make in this situation is to visualize that there are only 2 possibilities in this situation, get divorced or get back together. Sometimes pressure free dating, respectful and reasonable behaviour towards your estranged spouse opens to you other possibilities, for example getting divorced without the bitterness, to decide to live apart and be friends without divorce, to end bitter custody battles in favour of reasonable cooperation, to decide to be good parents while leading parallel lives together, acceptance of each others faults and appreciation of the good things and times spent together etc etc.

How can a solution which has a reasonable chance to end the bitterness and destruction be bad in principle ? But it does take 2 to tango and saving a bad marriage is a difficult tango.

Men have to keep their fears under control (along with their mothers and fathers), give their estranged spouse reasonable space to reach out to try mending the marriage. Women have to let go of their mothers teaching to control the husband through sex, tears and children and accept that all these 3 things have not worked. And most of of it requires patience which is in serious short supply in our fast paced times.

==

SSWS Wrote ==

I am not against the view of SIF, but I still believe that our negative thinking (498a case lag jayega, police arrest kar legi, court ke chakkar lagane padenge, rape ka case lag jayega etc etc) and the fear of 498A and other cases is the main and very important reason for our sufferings.
If we are not wrong then how can the court convict us or give us extra maintenance, if we are right and we do not have unnecessary fear in our mind then we will emerge as a winner may what, it is she who should run away from us and not us.
There is an old saying jiski ladhi uski bhais, The man who is power full from inside will never fear mere threats, Look at those real criminals who beat their wife every day, they do not have any tension of 498A and their wife never has the courage of going to the police stations.
It is better to live like a criminal (No Fear) rather than live like a victim (Full of Fears).
Once this fear of court cases, police, jail, defamation is out of ones mind then no one will file false cases against men. When we show our fear, we are faced with false cases. when we have fear in our mind we take wrong decision like filing RCR or Divorce when we get a threat of false 498A, we rush to our advocates who gives us all these advise. The situation would be totally different when we will say to our wife and her parents to go to hell and do whatever they want to do as we do not fear them at all and rather they should be ready for severe repercussions .
People are afraid of police and press because they have never dealt with them before that is why they suffer. People are afraid of courts because they do not understand the law or the procedures that is why they suffer. (Ofcourse eveybody has his own set of problems/short comings and they cannot be expected to have knowledge or the time to understand law)
Street Dog will chase you till the time you run away from him under Fear, but the moment you stop and face him in his eye he will stop barking.
I advise my victim callers to stop living in fear and it works very well with them i have seen this personaly. Ofcourse I do not mean that they should commit stupid mistakes of not taking AB but yes I teach them not to have unnecessary fear in their minds. Half war is won when they win over their fears.
Atleast I can say that wherever I failed the reason was my FEAR. If I fail in future it will be due to my own FEARS. To walk on this path of fearless life one has to consistently win over all types of old and new fears all the time, the moment you let your fear overcome you, you loose the whole battle there and than. It is very easy to say live a fearless life but it is at times difficult to follow it. Like for e.g. it is very easy to say that live like a SIF Commando but difficult to follow it all the time, one who will follow it forever without changing his course even once will emerge as a winner for sure.
If the wife who never wanted to give visitation rights of their child to her husband is now willing to live with her husband with the child imagine the amount of courage she will need to take this decision as the husband will now have full time access to the child. Her FEAR is more than ours we have only one FEAR and that is NEW CASES but look at the other side of this deal the Wife will now have to practically allow 24 hrs access to the child, she should have more fear than us.
This discussion can go on forever, but all i wanted to point out here is that majority of us replied to my query with a negative answer and only 1 answer had a positive reply.
I can also gather that there is no legal solution for my query (anyways there is no legal solution for the husband and wife dispute, even if you amend the definition of aggrieved person in DV act and include men in it)
There can only be a non legal solution for this problem in hand.

==

SANJAY wrote ==

You are missing the point. One answer does not fit every situation of marital dispute. Marital disputes by their very nature are grey with few shades of black and white. That is why taking a decision as drastic as divorce is so difficult for man or woman.

I am also going through 498a, DVA, divorce, custody etc in a situation which is more complicated than you can imagine. But it is your faith in yourself which is the most important element in these situations. And faith in yourself can also be reflected in being able to evaluate whether your wife is genuinely sorry for the damage caused and wants to make an honest go of the marriage or not.

I have never advocated that a man’s self respect is less important than his spouse’s. But self respect is not a flag to be hoisted in any or all situations. Otherwise it is nothing but a reaction of your ego.

If an opportunity arises where making a new start with your wife is a distinct possibility, then exploring the same is common sense. The effort which you would put in to making a new relationship work would be much more than saving and reviving the old relationship. Like I said, the plus side is the security to the children, easy access to your children, end to going to courts etc etc. The downside is that the relationship with your wife may never revive with mutual love and respect, even if the marriage survives. But then life does not come with guarantees.

I had counselled a friend and his wife ( who are also going through similar cases ) about seeking a long date for their various cases and using the time for pressure free dating and reviving their relationship, to decide at the end of 6 months which direction they want their life to go. But, unfortunately in some cases, by the time the girl comes around to trying to save her marriage, her life situation at her parent’s house or where ever she is living has reached a crisis point and the pressures to get back together or divorce is unbearable. Girl’s parents in these cases are criminally responsible for some heart rending stories of pressure to divorce and hurt the husband through lack of child access. Sadly a lot of girls make their parents agendas their own despite sane counsel to the contrary.

The common mistake that most people make in this situation is to visualize that there are only 2 possibilities in this situation, get divorced or get back together. Sometimes pressure free dating, respectful and reasonable behaviour towards your estranged spouse opens to you other possibilities, for example getting divorced without the bitterness, to decide to live apart and be friends without divorce, to end bitter custody battles in favour of reasonable cooperation, to decide to be good parents while leading parallel lives together, acceptance of each others faults and appreciation of the good things and times spent together etc etc.

How can a solution which has a reasonable chance to end the bitterness and destruction be bad in principle ? But it does take 2 to tango and saving a bad marriage is a difficult tango.

Men have to keep their fears under control (along with their mothers and fathers), give their estranged spouse reasonable space to reach out to try mending the marriage. Women have to let go of their mothers teaching to control the husband through sex, tears and children and accept that all these 3 things have not worked. And most of of it requires patience which is in serious short supply in our fast paced times.

==

RAJ wrote ==

I AGREE THAT GUD ADVISE 2 D WIFE WILL PREVENT 498A SINCE SHE IS D 1 WHO INITIATES FILING OF FALSE CASES. BUT HOW CAN A HUSB PREVENT A 498A IF (AS IS D NORM DURING PRE-498A DAYS) INSTEAD OF HIM, D OUTLAWS HAVE EXCLUSIVE ACCESS 2 HIS WIFE’S EARS & HENCE HER OPINION & COURSE OF ACTION? WE R FORCED BY R WIFES 2 DESTROY R MOST PRODUCTIVE YRS IN RUNNING AROUND LAWYERS, POLICE & COURTS. TELL ME 1 SECTION MEANT 4 HUSB & INLAWS 2 GET JUSTICE 4M WIFE’S CRUELTY BY STARTING LEGAL PROCEEDINGS. ON DEMAND, I CAN LIST ALL D BIASED/UNJUST PRO-WIFE-LAWS/ JUDGEMENTS IN INDIA (A HUGE LIST). POWER CORRUPTS & ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY – IN INDIA WIFES HAVE BEEN GIVEN 1-SIDED ABSOLUTE POWER WHICH INTOXICATES THEM MORE (REMEMBER INDIRA GANDHI?).

`SSWS, Indore’ said – “and also that the husband side is under a FEAR of 498A due to which their own life is shattered. (ofcourse there are many cases where the wife is a real vamp too but not all of them are)
2) The REAL PROBLEM OF INDIAN MEN IS NOT THE BIASED LAWS BUT THE FEAR. YES YOUR FEAR IS YOUR MAIN PROBLEM. DAR KE AGE JEET HAI FITS HERE. 3) Jo dar gaya woh mar gaya also fits here.
4) Imagine what if you and your parents are not afraid of the police or the courts, you will not at all suffer and no one can ever threaten you or even file false cases, So if you are not afraid of 498A you do not have any problems at all. Your problems are over once you overcome your FEARS.”

– MANY PEOPLE HERE (MYSELF INCL) HAVE NEVER BEEN COMPLAINED AGAINST IN A P.S. (OR ANYWHERE) B4 & HAVE GENERATED RESPECT & REPUTATION IN SOCIETY (WHICH ASSUMES BY DEFAULT THAT D WIFE IS D VICTIM) DURING SO MANY YRS. WE HAVE ALL BEEN ADVISED BY R GRANDFATHERS & WISEMEN THAT “IF U R NOT INVOLVED WITH D POLICE & COURTS, U’L HAVE A PEACEFUL LIFE”.

SO WHY WON’T I & MY OLD PARENTS HAVE “FEAR” OF IMPRISONMENT, BEING FORCED LIKE CRIMINALS 2 GO UNDERGROUND, APPLY 4 A.BAIL, BEING EXTORTED BY LAWYERS, POLICE, WIFE, BIASED COURTS, BEARING D IGNOMY OF FACING D MOST UNBEARABLE, INSULTING UNIMAGINABLE ALLEGATIONS, BEING INSULTED BY FOUL MOUTHED COPS, LOOSING THIS HARD WON REPUTATION & D RIGHT 2 LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE?

WHY WILL WE NOT FEAR FIGHTING D BIASED POLICE (MOST OF WHOM R NOT EVEN AWARE OF UR FUDAMENTAL RIGHTS, AMONG OTHER LAWS & R ONLY THINKING OF WAYS 2 INCREASE D `RETURN ON INVESTMENT’ ON D AMOUNT THEY PAID 4 A PLUM POSTING – D S.C. CALLS THEM SIMI-SKILLED);

D BIASED COURTS WHO ALMOST NEVER CONSIDERS ACTION AGAINST PERJURY, ADULTRY, ETC. BY WIFE; CONVENIENCES A NOT-WORKING WIFE BY TRANSFERING CASES 4M D JURISDICTION OF D HUSBAND WHO IS D BREADWINNER OF D FAMILY & RESPONSIBLE 2 PAY HER MAINTENANCE (BY 2 COURTS). [I HAVE READ S.C. JUDGEMENTS WHICH SAYS THAT D ONLY PURPOSE OF CRPC 125 IS 2 PREVENT A WIFE FROM BEGGING, SELLING HERSELF, ETC. (MAKES SENSE), BUT I HEAR ALL D TIME OF MEN BEING MADE 2 PAY UPWARDS OF 10K/M]. WHATS MOST FRUSTRATING IS THAT EVEN IF WE SOMEHOW TRY 2 RETALIATE AGAINST R WIFES, INTERNATIONALLY IT’S A PROVEN FACT THAT D POLICE & D COURTS ALWAYS CUSHIONS & PROTECTS THEM BY GIVING MUCH LIGHTER SENTENCES (IF ANY) AS COMPARED 2 IF A MAN HAPPENED 2 DO D SAME CRIME. ARMED WITH ONLY D MOST FLIMSY ALLEGATIONS A WIFE CAN DO MUCH MORE DAMAGE THAN U WITH GENUINE EVIDENCES. IN U.S., A STUDY INDICATED THE MAIN REASON 4 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BY WOMEN ON MEN WAS THAT D WOMEN WERE CONVINCED THAT THEY’L EASILY
GET AWAY WITH IT. FEAR HELPS US 2 TAKE PRECAUTIONS WHICH WILL DECREASE D DAMAGE WHEN WAR IS DECLARED, ITS HELPFUL. PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAV ANY KNOWLEDGE OF 498A GET SCREWED (FINANCIALLY, LEGALLY & MENTALLY) WHEN FACED WITH IT. CAN ANY1 EXPLAIN 2 ME HOW A 498A CAN B PREVENTED BY NOT FEARING IT? R U NUTS?

`SSWS, Indore’ said – “AADMI HO TO SIRF BIWI SE KYON LADTE HO APNE KHUD KE DAR SE , POLICE SE AUR SAMNE WALE VAKIL SE LADO.”

– U DON’T MAKE SENSE BUDDY. I HATE IT WHEN SOME1 TELLS ME 2 “BE A MAN” (AS D TERM HAS BEEN COINED BY WOMEN SO THAT THEY COULD LEAVE ALL RISK TAKING (OF LIFE, LIMB, TENSION) 2 MEN & RELAX THEMSELVES. Y SHOULD WE MEN NEED 2 SUFFER RISKS & HARDWORK ALL R LIVES, WHEN WOMEN CONSIDER US ASSES BY INCREASING THEIR DEMANDS, NOT EVEN CARING 2 THANK US 4 R HELP & CALLING US DOGS? WHEN A GIRL IS RAPED, WOMEN CURSE ALL MEN… BUT WHEN A MAN SAVES HER LIFE, WHY DOESN’T SHE THINK OF ALL MEN AS ANGELS? WOMEN HAV MANIPULATED US MEN PSYCHOLOGICALLY 4 CENTURIES.

`SSWS, Indore’ said – 5) On this forum we preach that people should punish their wife for the wrong doings, but u forget that you also punish your children and yourself along with the punishment you give to your wife. At the same time u also punish your old parents. you end up punishing your own side due to the fault of the system (Police, Judges and Lawyers)
6) Why should you punish anyone (wife or children or FIL, MIL) for the corrupt and useless judicial system. I say you should punish them for a pretty long time (4-5 years maybe) but not forever. False 498A is a crime but it does not deserve a punishment more severe than capital punishment. And the best part is that you want to punish yourself too for the fault of the false system and that too for ever. This is funny.

WE VICTIMS DON’T HAV ANY OPTION OTHER THAN 2 FIGHT SINCE WE DIDN’T INITIATE ANY FALSE CASE IN D 1ST PLACE. ITS V.SAD FACT THAT WE HAVE 2 PUNISH RSELF TOO FOR THE FAULT OF THE FALSE SYSTEM, BUT DO V HAVA A BETTER CHOICE OTHER THAN CURSE RSELVES 4 BEING BORN IN THIS *#@$ING COUNTRY? D INITIAL FEW YRS R A PUNISHMENT FOR HUSB & D INLAWS. ITS ONLY LATER, WHEN ALL D FALSE ALLEGATIONS R UNCOVERED THAT D OUTLAWS R “INCONVENIENCED”. SO WHAT SENSE DOES IT MAKE 2 FACE ALL D INITIAL ONSLAUGHT & COMPRO JUST WHEN D OUTLAWS START SUFFERING? IT’L BE TOTALLY FOOLISH. D FUNDAMENTAL AIM MUST B THAT D WRONG DOER MUST B PUNISHED MORE THAN D VICTIM. IF MEN COMPRO & ALLOW THIS BASIC TIMELESS LAW 2 B BROKEN, THEN D OUTLAWS WOULDN’T HAVE LEARNT D LESSON & WILL ENCOURAGE THEM 2 REPEAT THEIR ACTION LATER. IF A WIFE IS REALLY SORRY, LET THEM CONFESS IN COURT (BEST) OR APOLOGISE IN NEWSPAPER, ETC. & SOME1 PLS HELP ME UNDERSTAND HOW CAN WE EVER GIVE PUNISHMENT MORE SEVERE THAN
CAPITAL PUNISHMENT 2 R WIFE THROUGH COURTS.

`SSWS, Indore’ said – 7) See I do not at all support false 498A women or for that matter the lady who wants to re-unite in this case, but what I am trying to say is that , we men have forgotten our own inner strength, we are full of fears which compounds our own problems. What is the problem if the 498A women (only those who are really repenting) is willing to take MCD and then is willing to start living again with her divorced husband. She has agreed to MCD for the safety of her husband and mainly to close the doors on the judicial system. She is tired of the judicial system herself and that is why she is willing to take MCD. Now no body on this forum is willing to look at this point and everybody has their preset negative reactions WHY = BECAUSE OF THE FEAR of 498A.

U ARENT MUCH AQUAINTED WID D LAW. R U? ACC. 2 A S.C. ORDER, ANY COUPLE LIVING 2GETHER 4 A FEW YRS R AUTOMATICALLY CONSIDERED 2 BE HUSB-WIFE. EVEN INITIALLY, IN A LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIP, SHE CAN PUT DV CASE ON U, CAN CRY RAPE, OUTRAGING HER MODESTY, ETC & U & UR FAMILY WILL BE IN A BIG SOUP. A NEW CASE WILL B TREATED FRESHLY, SO DON’T B UNDER D FALSE IMPRESSION THAT NOTHING WILL HAPPEN IF SHE AGAIN SHOWS HER WILD SIDE. IT IS A HUGE RISK (ALMOST MADNESS IF U R ALREADY AWARE OF MISUSE OF PRO-WIFE LAWS) 2 MARRY. D HONESTY & INTEGRITY OF D TRADITIONAL HOOKER-JOHN ARRANGEMENT IS D MOST LOGICAL ALTERNATIVE IN 2DAY’S TIME.

I HAVEN’T READ OF ANY CASE WHERE A 498A WOMAN IS WILLING TO TAKE MCD AND THEN IS WILLING TO START LIVING AGAIN WITH HER DIVORCED HUSBAND, IT’S AN IMAGINARY CASE. WOMEN, BY NATURE WON’T EVER EXTERNALLY ADMIT HER FAULT & NEEDS SOME1 2 BLAME 4 EVERYTHING WRONG IN HER LIFE. NO PRIZES 4 GUESSING WHO’L BE THAT BAKRA AFTER MARRIAGE. NEVER, NEVER, EVER BELIEVE A WOMAN’S WORD. ALWAYS WATCH HER ACTIONS CAREFULLY. SO IF SHE IS REALLY REPENTENT, HER ACTIONS WILL SPEAK LOUDER THAN HER WORDS, & ONLY THEN U KNOW U CAN TRUST HER.

==

N.K.G.R Wrote ==

Getting wife back is a joke that to after filing a case. Tell me for what reason she is comming back to you, think logically.

1. She is loosing the case.
If she has the money why she will care for you. She does not have. after even getting the divorce from the husband how she will get the new Husband. Social community will take her in so easily imagine ?
What if she wins the case. Will she think the same like the way mentioned in the above. She will get another big innocent person to tame as she would be mastered ready for the next mission. Lady bond.

2. Social status
If she wins she will get money, honey, home and more agrressive nature
If she is lossing the case then how the people always think imagine, if child is not there, and if child is there

3. Economical stability :
If she loses the case even her parents will go 2 step backwards. Husband is the last hope and she will go for re-union.
If she is inthe winning stage she will not care husband and treat like a dog

4. Emotional status :
If she loses she expect you to take you her in
If she at the winning side even if husband falls on wifes leg does she take husband in.

5. Lonleyness
By running between courts she thinks ok let me go and live with the husband. He will provide all the security along with care.
Before filing case does husband has not provided the same.
6. Grudge :
Initally her grudgeness will be high and hellbent you to teach a lesson. Then cools herself and simply says to ready to live with her husband and court will grant it.
If husband begs also court will not and fire the fuel for what ever the statement the wife provides by wife.
7. Next marriage
How one can imagine that the next marriage will like a hell. Even there are thousands of good people around and husbands are ready to have their best behaviour with the new wife as they have had already taken the taste of the ex wife and know how to tackle as the new one would be the new to the game.
I totally disagree getting women after once she files the case against the husband.
Still love factor will be there but how long, its one has to decide. If husbands are emotional then once again they are ready for the slavery, if not they will be the lions

You decide what you want to be.